Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Popping head around the door.
Not quite so busy, but just off to do a bit at my allotment. The sun is shining, so it will be lovely and peaceful .
Thoughts and prayers, I will be back later xx

You're all so thoughtful. Drama your mountain sounds well worth the climb, and daisy you're church sounds beautiful.

I don't think I've got the hang of this grief business. It so does get you when you're least expecting it doesn't it? I want it done and over with but as you all so wisely say it's going to take a long time. I didn't sleep well again last night but couldn't read or listen to anything either - just spent the night working myself up into a panic :(. I will ring the doc later.

I'm currently sat outside in a lovely garden centre waiting for my friend to bring me some tea. I'm slightly worried that he'll think I'm a heartless cold hearted woman as so far this morning there's not been so much as a hint of a tear. He has a southern Irish accent that could make any day sunny. He's also a priest although I know him through a completely different connection. Wondering if he might give me some wise words about everlasting life :)

I am sure he has plenty of wise words for you & will not be at all worried that you are not crying.

PLEASE ring the doctor - or I will turn into nasty Muddled & nag you

(((xxx)))

Hope you enjoyed your cup of tea. We've made scones today.

I suspect that as a priest, he has seen many a grieving person, and understands only too well that everyone is different .
Are you panicking about anything specific, or just generally? Anything we may beable to help with? I much better at practicalities.
((hugs))

In my (admittedly limited) experience, priests are very good listeners and they understand bereavement very well. I hope you had a nice chat.

As for Irish accents, one of the reasons I married my DH was his lovely, soft West of Ireland accent

There's a MN thread ongoing at the moment What's your favourite accent and Irish is by far the popular vote!

I think your friend is more likely to think you are brave and dignified not at all heartless for lack of tears, Juan . You've cried an ocean, there is space for spring sunshine and nice cups of tea and smiles too xx

Evening Juan - just a pop in. I will be sat with my crotchet tonight, so will be here if needed xx

Also just saying hi Juan.
I'm sure your friend will understand all sorts of emotions surrounding grief.
I'm mostly okay, and then it hits me that actually this period is it - John isn't coming back ever again, I'll never be able to tell him all those little things we used to share, I'll never look at him again and see his eyes sparkling at me, and on and on.
And bloody hell that's like a punch in the stomach every time.

Just popping in................

Doctor, doctor, doctor............................................

(((xxx)))

I was with a friend today who was going to a suicide support group tonight for the first time. Her DBro died in 93. She's always been open and talked about it, esp with one of her twin brothers, but bereavement casts a long shadow. I don't think the actual circumstances make a material difference.

Be kind to yourself. I think (for what it's worth) that you're doing amazingly well to go out with a friend to a garden centre, for example.

what dear wise magimmedi said.

Break that cycle now, before it gets too big a hold on you.

Hope you had a peaceful night Juan

We're off to the park, library and food shopping. How are the children doing this week?

Quack, Pesky, Quack!

(((xxx)))

Morning Juan -

will pop in and out today -hope you managed to get some sleep
xx

Hello again, Juan. I haven't posted for a bit but have been thinking of you and the children still. Hope you managed some decent sleep last night. Are you finding it easier to eat now?

Hi Juan. Your friends know you are grieving so I'm sure they won't expect you to act any certain way.

I think that's one good thing about Irish people (apart from our lovely accents) they understand it takes a long time to get over a death and they're not afraid to talk about it for the most part so people are allowed to feel whatever emotion they feel.

I hope chatting with your friend helped.

Good morning Juan (or is it afternoon- it's school holidays. The days are already merging into one.

Just popping over to see you on the new thread x Hope you managed some sleep .

Popping my head round, hope you got a better nights sleep.

Chasing thinking of you too

I'm at DD's Easter Mass tomorow, I'm very lapsed these days but the church is beautiful and very peaceful. If either of you would like a candle lighting (or anyone else struggling or missing someone) I'm happy to do so.

Afternoon Juan - had a busy day, but have checked a couple of times
Thoughts and prayers xxx

Hello lovely Aunties :)

Before I go any further and magi shouts at me (!) I have doc appointment booked for 21st - still some time away I know but earliest non-emergency appointment available.

squirrels - thinking of you. That "this is it" moment is so familiar and it's a gut wrencher isn't it? Hope Selena is ok, not seen her for a few days.

I've been busy again today and therefore fine - until now. My friend came over first thing to help me with some paperwork, and then two other friends came over and we went to dd's boyfriend's farm. It's about an hour away but so lovely. We had lunch sat outside their cafe right next to a lake, went for a walk - and then the main event - went to cuddle tiny puppy Bertie :) Was a good day and I only got upset once but I've been very sad since getting home and not being able to report back to Mark on my day.

Consoling myself with Maltesers - strange how I don't struggle to get them down ...

I want a Bertie!

Pleased you've got a Dr's appointment and been ok-ish (as much as you can be)

He's so cute!

Glad you had a positive day and sorry Mark isn't there to hear about it.

I've got a CBT appointment on the 21st so we can hold hands.

Just eat whatever you can face...that's my motto pretty much every day

He is so gorgeous isn't he? His mum is beautiful too, so trusting. I think cuddling puppies should be obligatory for everyone having a bad day.

Happy to hold hands Cake. Will it be your first appointment?