Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Sending you a big hug

Hugs Juan, glad the migraine has subsided.
I think it was a bad weekend due to a combination of things - funeral arrangements on Fri, viewing his body on Fri, having to wait in all day Sat for the bed to be collected, going to see friends of his Sat evening - which was lovely, but he was missing and then coming home alone to an empty house, and my boys were away all weekend. Much better day today.
Very sad text for you to read , I keep looking at John's and his ipad.

Am also firmly in the camp that a couple of days in bed have been No Bad Thing.

Lovely message to get - not surprised it made you cry.

Also agree that it might be a good idea to have a couple of things planned for the Easter w/e - it could seem a bit long otherwise.

My love - as ever - (((xxx)))

That's a beautiful text message from the Aussie friend. Your DH sounds like a very special person.

Just to chip in about reading. I find it hard to concentrate on reading, although I love books (depression) but I really like listening to many of the Book at Bedtime, Dramas etc on Radio 4. Some are classics but others are new and different!

There is a My Radio function on the website or BBC iPlayer radio app. You can add any chosen programmes so we have a "bank" of things to listen to. I like Ramblings with Clare Balding, for example. Or they had an abridged version of Agnes Grey recently which was v good, imo. You can also download if you want and listen later. Sometimes easier just to listen rather than read somehow.

squirrels that sounds like a full on weekend. Glad you're having a better day today. I haven't yet been able to bring myself to read Mark's texts and emails (other than his last one to me which said he was lucky to have me :(.).

I do feel a bit better book, magi and daisy for having had enforced bed rest! Do I need to upgrade you from Aunties to grannies ... Bagel thank you for the information and ideas, I'll have a look on the website later on. I have been finding it comforting to have the radio on at night when I can't sleep.

It wasa lovely text from our friend, just very unexpected. Honestly if you knew him you'd be knocked over that he does emotion - I'm fairly sure his wife won't have ever received such a text - but what do I know?! My immediate reflex was to tell Mark ...

Dd took ds12 with her over the weekend to her boyfriend's farm. She sent me a couple of videos - one of Ds roly polying down a big grassy slope, and one of Ds driving a big dumpster truck. Such lovely little boy things to do - again my first reaction was to show Mark :(. Dd's boyfriend and his family are wonderful, they've really taken her, and by extension, us into their hearts. The farm has fishing lakes and camping pitches and a lovely cafe so we will all go down there on Easter Weekend, perhaps on Easter Saturday. There is also the added attraction of Bertie ...IMG_3357.PNG.png

Oh my picture of Bertie didn't turn out. Never mind - picture the cutest four day old puppy that you possibly can and that's Bertie ...

Figured it out - here he is being held by Ds. His mum (Bertie's, not dd's) is nearby

What a lovely message Juan so thoughtful and from the heart.
Glad you are on the mend from your migraines take it easy it's not being lazy at all.
Love the puppy photo so cute. Glad your dd has a lovely boyfriend it makes a huge difference. And one less thing to worry about as a parent 😀
Easter plans sound great we will be going to local farm park next week kids love it (even teen but he wouldn't admit it😉) animals are good for people of all ages (even oldies like me) especially all the spring babies.
Take care

Thank you Willow - there's nothing quite like a baby animal is there?

I've been sad today, so very sad. I think harsh reality is setting in and I'm having to get to grips with this being how it is. I keep looking at the tube with his ashes and thinking "how?" Cried a lot today too. Feels like I've taken a big backward step :( .

Oooh, is that ultra cute puppy a springer? Certainly looks like it. They are the cutest puppies ever, but then I'm biased as we have two of them. Well, not puppies now but they are still adorable

Glad the migraine has gone, horrible things.

The way you describe that text from Mark's friend made me well up a bit. How lovely, and sad at the same time.

Evening Juan
Gorgeous puppy
cry as much as you need - its two steps forward, one step back .
shoulder here - lean on it if you need xx

Cross-posted with you there Juan. I agree with book, it'll be two steps forward, one step back for a while. And yes, cry as much as you need to. Another shoulder offered here x

The text - what a beautiful thing for friend to have done; especially since the assumption was nobody would ever hear it. Very sad.

I'm glad you're head is almost better; I do agree that it might just have been your body giving you a message that it needed a bit more rest. Sorry it could not have said it without the horror of the migraine!

Your story of the DS and their differences made me laugh - and to think the girls are finding a way to be in this new normal, and your lovely DS is finding a way to make you feel better (Toast ALWAYS makes me feel better)

Drama yes Bertie is a springer :) Currently a six day old springer.

Evening book and 2017. The text - I was actually thinking (after I'd read it so too late anyway) that I prob shouldn't have read it. But I won't tell anyone I have and I certainly won't let friend know. Funny how it's not always the people you expect to care the most who actually do isn't it?

btw forgot to say Juan - granny is fine - I already am one!
I'm not sure that you shouldn't have read it - even if it was by accident. You needed to make sure nothing important was on there that you did need to read. Don't fret about it.

Evening Juan, hope the migraine is buggering off now.

More tears is not a backward step, no matter how wretched you feel (won't help your poor head though!)
When the going gets tough, keep going. Your DCs are fabulous, glad they're around to make you smile

Hey Juan just checking in, Bertie is lush.

Sorry it's been a tough day

Years at ok Juan you can't just get to x number of days and switch them off like a tap.

There will be good days and bad days and bloody horrendous days I am sure. There is no right or wrong way to feel you do what you need to to get through the day.
((()))

I'm glad tears aren't regarded as a backward step - there are certainly plenty of them. I wish you could lose weight through crying, I'd be waif like by now.

Can't sleep again. I need a friend who lives the other side of the world! I'm still sleeping on Mark's side of the bed. It feels now like I always have. Strange how some things you get used to quickly and others not nearly as quick.

We had plans for Maundy Thursday - every year Mark would go to an old school reunion, and I went with him for the first time last year. Don't know why I never went before then - he used to ask me every year. Usually he would drive home again after the dinner but this year we had planned to stay overnight. I did think about still going on my own because he will be mentioned by the speakers but I decided I'd spend the evening crying. His best friend P is going still and says he'll report back on what is said. I will be extra sad on that day I expect :(.

Hope you're sleeping now, Juan. I'm not on t'other side of the world; just awake with anxiety (the curse of my life!). Glad you have somethings planned for Easter. I was wondering: do you work outside the home (MN parlance for: have you got a job?).

Still awake Petally, I'm sorry you are too. Or perhaps you're not anymore, fingers crossed. Sorry about your anxiety too, it's a bugger.

I don't have paid employment but suspect that may have to change. I'm involved with a voluntary organisation - began with a once a week commitment but evolved to include training, mentoring, outreach (plus the once a week commitment). I really enjoyed it and they have been very supportive during this time, but I think I'll probably scale it back to the once a week thing once I go back. See how it goes.

No still awake here! Think I'm going to buy some ear phones and try mindfulness meditation when I wake in the night. Actually, I need to practise mindfulness more during the bleeding day as well

Hello anyone who's awake, I just woke p and have padded into the kitchen for a cuppa and obligatory checkin to MN especially this, my favorite, thread

Juan, you may find a job of some description will be helpful and could give you a new outlook. I was in Ft work when DH passed away but my DM wasn't after my DF died of cancer. She took on a carer role for the local council and she really enjoyed it. She still has some firm friends who she keeps in touch with long after her retirement. Also it gave her access to a lot of training, things like lifting safely, how to take care of your back, that sort of thing. Even now, years later, she will say how much benefit she gained from those years (plus a nice pension pot she wouldn't have otherwise had).

I think you are wise making the decision that's right for you re Mark's reunion. It could be very upsetting and I think you have enough on your plate, you know your own limits so that's the best way of deciding.

Glad you are feeling better. xxx

Hello night owls. I'm in the nether world so still awake for an hour or so, if anyone needs to chat.

Have been addicted to watching the non birth of the giraffe calf. For weeks. Rather sad how long can watch an animals rear end

Goodness me 2017SoFar, has that poor creature still not given birth yet? Mind you I think their gestation period is up to 15 months.

💦