Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Brilliant news about the job.

Part time sounds just right for now - but you won't get to see as much of Pot as me over Wimbledon - hahahaha!!

Thank you Drama, I've just been in the right place at the right time. Of course, my immediate reaction when I heard was to think "I must tell Mark".

Well Magi, that's where you're wrong I hope. Job is very very undemanding and employees are encouraged to find things to do with their time - unlimited TennisTv here I come!

Wow! That's great news. So pleased for you.

Thank you Gasp

I've just had one of those memories that come out of nowhere and floor you. Several years ago I worked for a charity. One day I took a call from a man who lived in our town, who had recently been widowed, and who had two young children. Unfortunately, we didn't provide the type of support he needed and so couldn't help him. I felt really bad for this poor man, and was telling Mark about him when I got home. Mark was really upset and wanted to know if there was any way I could give him this man's contact details so that he could contact him and offer him some support. I couldn't of course, and Mark felt really bad.

After that he started volunteering for two charities himself, despite working full time and not being in the best of health :(

Just back from DD's birthday tea.
Congratulations on the job - its not until June, which gives you time to mentally adapt, and sounds a perfect fit.
Juan - you asked who flutters mum is on the woolly hug thread - thats me , not a RL 'know' IYSWIM

x post - but in a way, its also a good memory, of a good man x

Mark does sound like such a lovely man, what a nice memory. If he knew about you getting the job today he'd be very proud of you Juan, I'm certain of that.

Oh that's lovely book - like mother like daughter. So nice of her. I did wonder if she meant someone on here. Did you eat lots of cake today?!

He would be proud Drama, he always had greater belief in my abilities than I did. But this is actually a ridiculously easy job (by the sounds of it anyway) so I think anyone would have got it - I was in the right place at the right time. And < that sort of remark is exactly the sort of thing he would tut at me for saying!

Lots of cake and scones, crumpets and salmon and cream cheese sandwiches. Utterly stuffed now :)
I'm not surprised Mark would have tutted - they would not have offered the job if they didn't want you . And being in the right place at the right time is always what matters.

Juan Mark sounds like an amazing man, you must be very proud of him. It's a lovely memory to be able to look back on

Chasing and Selena I hope today has been kind to you both

Hello Everyone. Thank you for thinking about me Unborn. DH and I got ourselves away. He's sleeping most of the time and I go out for walks, but it's lovely as different people and lots to look at.

Change is as good as a rest!

Hello Selena, I've been thinking about you too. I hope the break is doing you some good.

I've just had another "moment" :(. Was arranging to meet a friend on May 19 and went to the calendar on my phone to put it in. I already had one event for that day - Mark was meant to be going to clinic to see his consultant. He had an appointment about two weeks before he died and when he came home with the next appt for 19 May I remember saying "that's a long time away". He said "yes but everything's good at the minute" :( :(. I'm so sad.

Oh no Juan sorry that must be very hard to see in the calendar. I'm going to go off MN now but happy to chat on text...

well done on sorting a job. Cling to the positives x

Also thinking of you Selena and Squirrels too

ah, thats a toughie Juan ((hugs))
Selena - x

Hello folks, couldn't sleep so having a cuppa and the obligatory sneaky MN

Juan that is so sad, it is painful coming across future dates where there was hope for things to resolve for dear Mark. If only we could reset the future for you .

Fab news about getting a new job, it doesn't matter what you'll be doing the fact you were able to get it sorted out is a major achievement.

I've asked to contribute to your Woolly Hug

Morning all
hope you managed some sleep Juan
ah daisy - hope you are able to take it steady today.
It is beautiful this morning after the heavy showers yesterday. And its set fine for a few days, but of course its Bank Holiday Monday isn't it , so the drive man is getting another day not due...
Thoughts and Prayers xx

Good morning all

Restless night here too. Thank goodness it's Friday!

Meeting a friend for a cuppa and looking for some running leggings, getting some bits from Boots. Then need to come muck out the sty of a house and try to catch up on accounts...all before 2:30 when I need to get to school for story time! Love my day "off"

Thinking of all you all

Afternoon all.

Juan what great news about the job it sounds ideal.

The callander date sucks, life just keeps coming at you doesnt it?

Selena glad you got your break away, even if you arent doing wild adventurous things its still good to be 'somewhere else' just for a while.

Hope eveyone else is having a lovely day with good weather.

Lovely day here now but cold in the shade still. Been shopping with ds2 for 'school shoes', he is at that awkward size his trainers are size 4 (just got them last week) but had to get 5.5 shoes! Tried on about 6 pairs in different sizes before we got some that fitted. Why dont they make all shoes the SAME size, if they say size 4 then they all should fit size 4 feet, and not different widths, lengths etc.

Wasted the morning trying to get ds2 moving and ds1 up and showered to come with us to get summer coat but he never moved! Doesnt need one apparently so will remind him of that if we are out and it starts pouring with rain

Afternoon
hope everyone is okay, and having a good day.
It has been an odd day - I've done a few things, I know I have,, but it doesn't feel as if I have , if that makes sense. So - washed and ironed, made some shortbread, then sorted out seedlings for my allotment. Then went and worked at the plot. I have faffed around a bit - maybe that is why I don't feel as if I have filled my day :)

Juan

Selena I hope the break does you both some good, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you or anyone in such a position

Hello all. Book you have done a lot, you always do. I'm in awe of your energy. Willow shoe shopping is enough to drive even the most robust of us over the edge - thank goodness you eventually found a pair. daisy you were an early bird today - did you manage to get back to sleep? Thank you to all of you involved in the Woolly Hugs - that thread made me sob. It's so very kind of everybody, and a wonderfully thoughtful idea. I love a blanket and in fact Mark bought me one for my last but one birthday. He was so proud of himself because he found a website that sold hand knitted welsh blankets ( I was brought up in Swansea) - I didn't have the heart to tell him that I thought it was the ugliest thing I'd ever seen! I had a thread on here about it at the time. I use it as a throw in the sitting room, and now of course I'm really glad of it and quite possessive over who is allowed to use it!

Have had an ok day - ended up having lunch with a friend. It wasn't planned but she got cancelled on and we happened to bump into each other at the local shops. I do like her, I really do (I've known her for the best part of 20 years) but she can be astoundingly self-absorpbed. Which is fine if you know what you're getting, and which generally bothers me not at all. But three hours we were together today, and not once did she ask me how I was. She was also talking about the break up of her marriage (2004) and how it had been just like a bereavement ... And then it's another friend's birthday today - was writing the card and, of course, came to signing it and thought "Oh. Can't sign Mark's name". That was a bit upsetting but by and large I've been not too bad today.

We're arranging a get together for 17 June at dd's boyfriend's farm so I've been trying to get some of that organised today. There will be about 20 of us, mostly family, but some friends of Mark's as well, including his best friend P and some of his old rugby team mates. I'm looking forward to it very much in some ways, in other ways not so much - it will be strange to have all these significant people in his life together without him. May be a sort of echo of the funeral but on a smaller scale.

Wow how self absorbed indeed! While divorce certainly can feel like a bereavement how can she not think to ask about you all?

Been busy and managed a little jog but not feeling too energetic so on the sofa with M&Ms

I do think that there are people like that everywhere, sadly. Its very much them wanting to tell you their woes, without giving any support back .
The get together sounds a really nice idea tbh , it gives you a chance to meet up with all the people who matter to you, at a hopefully less emotionally charged venue.

My goodness that 'friend' sounds self-absorbed alright, and a tad insensitive to boot. Good job you like her!

The get-together sounds lovely, like a celebration of Mark's life & how important he was to you all.

I've been having a lazy evening. Glad to have a long weekend cos I'm shattered.