AIBU to ask for a contribution?

[badgerread]

My partner and I don't live togtehr. We both work full time, own our own houses and both have two Dc's. He has 50% care of his and spends the other 50% at mine. He has recently left his job to set up a new firm and is therefore working from (my) home when he is at mine. He currently earns around £17k more than me. The thing is he hasn't contributed or bought any shopping, whether it be groceries, toiletries, anything since he started this new setup 6 weeks ago. I've just text him asking shall I pick up a Chinese on my home for us and the boys but I'm not sure he'll contribute towards it... my shopping bill has gone up a lot in the last 6 weeks as he is basically at mine 50% of the time having three meals a day. Plus shower gel, toothpaste, loo rolls etc. I want to say something but not in a demanding way....

He's is seriously taking the piss. When your DC start work and you may want to charge them board would you accept that amount, I think not. If he's at yours 50% of the time he's should share the cost of everything 50% and nothing less.

Tell him you're not covered for him to work sat yours with your insurance and would he mind working at his. Go back to dating and see what happens. I doubt he will stick around. He wants the financial security you can offer. Please don't give it to him. He probably only has his DC 50% of the time so that he doesn't have to pay any child support.

Get rid!

You have got to hand it to this man, he's clever at getting his own way at the expense of others.

Still wondering why the OP continues to go along with it.

So he offered you £100 a month before he started working from your house, never paid it, set up his business from your house and then offered you £70, so £30 less even though he is there more he isn't very bright at math is he.

Op he is a user, send him home and stand up for yourself. He has to check his finances??? Eh no, you set an amount, he either pays it or finds another premises the same as everyone else.

Tight fucker.

I never usually advocate "show them this thread" but I would here to shame the tight wad

If Paddy Power were to set odds on you ever getting a bob off this miser they wouldn't be very high

I've never been in your situation OP. I agree with the majority that he's taking advantage. £70 a month is not just a cheeky offer, it's rude. What concerns me more is that by making any form of contribution and staying regularly he is then creating a share of your house and maybe entitled to a share of it if you split. I hope I'm wrong but please be careful.

He needs to move back to his place ASAP, cocklodger gold plated one at that

£70pm? That's a joke. Time for him to move home.

You definitely need to check your home insurance as his working from home this could invalidate your policy and your premium will go up so make sure he pays the extra. Mine worked out to roughly an extra £10 per month so add that on the £70.

£70 a month that's a joke.
Have you checked the legalities yet of him running a business from your home?

How's he going to pay into a mortgage? Or
Will his contribution be own half a house and pay £70 a month.

He's taking the piss. Give it a month. He will stop again and then it will be wha wha wha £50 month

You are going out to work every day and paying for him to pay his mortgage and own (pretty minimal now) bills.

He is clearing down his mortgage due to the money you are subbing him.

That could be your mortgage!

Are you mad OP?! Why on earth would you accept his piss poor offering?! I was paying significantly more than that as an 18 year old living at home with my mother! He's using you and you're letting him. Get him back to his own house, asap, and for gods sake don't even think of buying a house with him!!

I think you should itemise your costs, & calculate what it costs extra to have him there.
everything from, loo paper to take away.
If it is over £70 & it will be tell him that there is no way you are subsidising him, these are real costs.
If he he is hands on, cuts the grass, fixes stuff, is a fun guy etc, then may be you can say its worth it to you.
Check it is legal re business in your house. if not it has to stop, end of.

from today, don't buy his take aways etc., you can call & say I'm getting mine, if you want something your costs X, if he doesn't he cannot just go to the fridge & make a sandwich at your expense.
He may think it's petty, the response, is, This isn't working for me, it is a one way relationship, & I can't afford it.

I agree with the others.... he has nested himself firmly under your secure and plentiful financial umbrella x

Why are you going along with this? He hasn't it his hand in his pocket to pay for a takeaway or food shop. Would you be happy for one your DC to be treated like this? Basically a cash cow.

He must be a really good fuck. Cannot see any other way how this is remotely beneficial to the op

NOBODY is that good a fuck.

how did he come up with a figure of £70?
15 days of food for £70 for a grown up man?

so if he were to move in full time that would be £140 per month
can you see how he is using your generosity

this is the money your and your sons can spend on something to enjoy together or put towards their future

Send him back to his house. He is massively taking advantage of you and your children. His attitude and entitlement are shocking. Do not stand meekly by while he does this. I am fuming on your behalf.

I think it's more concerning that you had to even bring it up. Did the idea of him staying at your yours involve a discussion about saving him money?

Why is he waiting to work out his finances going to decide how much he pays in future? Everyone knows the bills are what they are and you find a way to pay them, not the other way round.

I think you need a proper chat about saving for the future to and how you will be buying a new house based on his circumstances. You have a lot to lose in this.

D.O.O.R.M.A.T

I'd love to know his exes view of this chancer - having the kids 50/50 and then going self employed can often be the strategy of someone trying to avoid paying anything (just like he's doing with you, in fact)

The £70 offer is an insult of course, though I'm sure his next tactic will be to insist the new business is "all about building a good future for the two of you" ... the same reasoning he'll probably use when he asks you to subsidize it

Is he having the kids 50/50 at yours op? If so he's hit the jackpot

I still call cocklodger

£70 no! Screaming " door mat" at me
You'd be very foolish to continue this
Why doesn't he work from him home?

He's got it made easy

Er, so he had agreed £100, which isn't enough and he has now negotiated you down to £70. Come on OP. Wake the fuck up.

I don't work and I contribute more than 70 quid a week to our household!!! This dude is offering 70 quid a month.

OP, do you love him? Could it be ur are allowing yourself to be taken for a ride and u know it but choose to close ur eyes to it because ur scared of being alone?