No contact since New Year's Day. Struggling

[onmybroomstick]

Amazing Christmas together in his flat. Bought me watch, handbag, books, pjs, slippers, chocs, perfume, smellies. Spent Xmas night, Boxing Day night, the 28th and New Year's Eve together. Come home New Year's Day, not a peep since. I've had a birthday in this time, didn't even receive a happy birthday message. The day after my birthday I messaged like a crazed idiot telling him how hurt and upset I was, admittedly sent far too many messages but I lost my mind watching him read and ignore all my messages. Eventually I got one reply telling me to leave him alone, so I have. Now I am really missing him, no idea what I've done wrong. He has had form for this and did it the same time last year. I'm so confused and feel so rubbish about myself that he's treating me this way. Why wouldn't I deserve an explanation. We usually talk everyday several times. Think I'm writing here to stop me reaching out to him again, just to be rejected as I'm struggling to switch off tonight, he's taking over my head again. I wish I could just forget him yet with no answers I don't feel like I ever will..

I'm so disappointed in myself. I feel like he's messed with my head messaging me and it's as if I'm waiting for another to come through from him? Why? I know I don't want to hear from him really. I don't want to see him I don't want to talk to him but it's all I'm thinking about again now

OP. Don't be too hard on yourself. I've had this recently with an abusive ex. I blocked him but he managed to still contact me. I don't want him back and will never let him back into my life but I think it's all you're thinking about because you miss the attention from him and a small part of you wants to believe that they're actually a decent person and will one day apologise for all the hurt they've caused you. This will never happen.

Pull your friends close around you, find new hobbies, meet new people, learn to love yourself and be happy single. I think it's only natural to miss the attention of someone you were so close to for so long so don't read too much into the fact that you want him to message you. It doesn't mean you want him back so don't beat yourself up over it. Find things that make you happy and eventually he'll be in your thoughts less and less. By getting out there, meeting new people and being happy you're giving yourself the best chance of meeting the right man who you deserve.

This man is trying to chip away at you so you eventually give in and respond. Stay strong. Do not respond. He is an utter prick and you don't need that in your life. He is an embarrassment of a man. Keep busy OP

One way to move forwards is to realise that's he's not sitting there waiting for a response from you.I bet he is getting on with his life.

When you think of him just focus on something else..really focus in a mindfulness way and hopefully that will help to stop the thoughts.

He really is not worrying about you. I think you see this man differently now. You know that seeing him would make you feel awful & anxious. Seeing him and speaking to him would be a terrible backwards step

OP. Stay strong.
I had contact with my ex (of 25 years ago) last autumn.
Fairly quickly we progressed to calling each other 7am, 11pm for 'goodmorning/night' calls (his voice in my ear whilst lying in bed) and lots in between. then after 3 months, he went silent for 10 days.
we managed to 'sort it'.
again, now, another 10 days.
it has totally screwed me up.
I have asked him 'why'? and the reply is: 'I am busy'. hmm
I find it hard not to contact him but the point about each contact starting the clock anew is a good one

the clock has been running for 25 years, on and off, for me.
what a waste. don't lets either of us waste any more time or energy...

post here instead of replying to him - stay strong OP

Don't reply You've been amazing - don't fold now x

How's it going broomstick?

Understand if you caved, it's easy to advise, hard to do.