No contact since New Year's Day. Struggling

[onmybroomstick]

Amazing Christmas together in his flat. Bought me watch, handbag, books, pjs, slippers, chocs, perfume, smellies. Spent Xmas night, Boxing Day night, the 28th and New Year's Eve together. Come home New Year's Day, not a peep since. I've had a birthday in this time, didn't even receive a happy birthday message. The day after my birthday I messaged like a crazed idiot telling him how hurt and upset I was, admittedly sent far too many messages but I lost my mind watching him read and ignore all my messages. Eventually I got one reply telling me to leave him alone, so I have. Now I am really missing him, no idea what I've done wrong. He has had form for this and did it the same time last year. I'm so confused and feel so rubbish about myself that he's treating me this way. Why wouldn't I deserve an explanation. We usually talk everyday several times. Think I'm writing here to stop me reaching out to him again, just to be rejected as I'm struggling to switch off tonight, he's taking over my head again. I wish I could just forget him yet with no answers I don't feel like I ever will..

Oh my God who does he think he is?! I've just read your thread and I I think you are almost over him so just keep going but please send back something on the lines of..who's this, no thank you etc.

Ignore him, make plans with a friend right now so you're not tempted to go along last minute. You're doing so well and should be so proud of yourself!!

I am angry yes. who does he think he is, or worse still how pathetic does he think I am. I know he thinks I'm going to be so delighted at the fact he's messaged I'm just going to fall back in to his arms. I've known him 15 years now and the fact he didn't even say happy birthday to me on a milestone birthday is what's keeping me most angry. I feel like I'm winning though. He's lost someone that would have give him the world if they could and I've lost a nasty wanker

What an utter weirdo. Talk about playing with your feelings. Well done for dodging him.

"how pathetic does he think I am."

Thankfully you're going to prove him wrong on that point. What a fuckwit he sounds, and so arrogant, thinking you'll leap up like a faithful dog as soon as he calls for you.

Stay strong, OP! As other poster said, make some fun plans for the weekend with a good friend.

Good for you OP. What a knob, especially as he's basically framing it as 'I don't want to pay for a hotel room on my own so I'll talk to you now'.

You deserve so much better.

I'm so sorry he ruined your milestone birthday - I think you should either celebrate milestone+1 in grand fashion or declare yourself an unbirthday and celebrate it for also being the point you lost the dead weight!

I'm relieved that you're not going to fall for it.

Don't be surprised if he ramps it up.

I'm really angry now like angry want to lose my shit at him

It's good to be angry - just don't give him the gift of any emotion from you.

He will exploit any leverage he can get and he does not deserve your consideration

He ruined your birthday, your 30th. And the fucker did it on purpose, probably because he didn't want you to feel special and cherished, so had to ruin it for you

He called your precious kids baggage!!!!

You sound truly lovely and bright. You do not need this turd.
I'm enraged on your behave.

Ignore ignore and ignore.

Op just ignore his text. Keep to nc. This will drive him more insane than any outpouring of anger from you. He wants you to react. By not doing so you end up in control. If you speak with him there is more chance of him talking you down and winning you round eventually.

I know I'm just laid in bed now with the rage at him. Who does he think he is!!!! I need to go to sleep but my heads too angry right now! I knew he wanted attention when he started with the messaging my dad I just didn't think he'd try this so quick. What's the next move going to be.

I've just sat and read all of these. You have done amazingly well, please please don't go back to him. You deserve so much better xx

What a lovely guy. Keep the anger you have, but just don't contact him. Any contact is good contact for him.

You have done brilliantly. I could bet my house he hasn't booked a weekend anywhere and he is just testing you.

Also just rtft - keep on ignoring him OP. What I'd give to be 30 an size 10, don't waste another moment of your life on the weird fucker

Please don't reply. He has treated you terribly.

Spend the weekend with your friends.

What a dick head!

I've already got plans for the weekend he's talking about. Infact I only have one weekend free in the next 6. This is how determined I've been to not give him chance to get back in. I've made plans with all the people I never saw because of him and have actually had a great few weeks so far with old friends. Why doesn't he just sTay away. If he doesn't want me don't contact me at all. I did as he asked and left him alone. He knew I was heartbroken. What does he gain from being a big fat head fuck now.

Totally a big fat head fuck!! You deserve and better and will meet a lovely man in time to come... x

You really shouldn't let him get to you. You were only ever an option by his actions & somebody else will be going on the trip with him, if you don't. Put it down to a lucky escape

You can keep your power by not contacting him and just ignoring his complete existence.

He will be sat at home getting more and more pissed of that his efforts to control you aren't working and thinking of ways to play you and every time you ignore him or rise above him and his trying to wheedle his way back in you are showing that you have the control and are taking back your power.

You are doing really well, keep going!

So the update is, I didn't reply. He sent me another one telling me to ring and check some details for us and let him know 😱

Why can't he check? Oh yeah, be his secretary, that's appealing.

Haha he wants you to leap to attention ... and then do some donkey work.

Fuckwit. Well done for not replying OP! Can you block him?

I have always done everything for him. I mean literally everything. I was like his personal secretary!

My god, what an utter wanker! Who the hell does he thinks he is? This is not someone you would want a future with; can you imagine how awful it would be for your kids if, when you eventually introduce and make part of your kids lives, your partner fucks off for months at a time and then expects to just waltz back into your/their lives when he feels like it?

Keep strong, it sounds as though you are being very strong at the moment, don't let him wear you down - remember who he is and what he's done. He is treating you like an inanimate possession that he can pick up and put down whenever he feels like it - and knows (well, he thinks he knows) that he can exempt himself from any form of blame by buying you back when it suits him.

Ignore ignore ignore.