No contact since New Year's Day. Struggling

[onmybroomstick]

Amazing Christmas together in his flat. Bought me watch, handbag, books, pjs, slippers, chocs, perfume, smellies. Spent Xmas night, Boxing Day night, the 28th and New Year's Eve together. Come home New Year's Day, not a peep since. I've had a birthday in this time, didn't even receive a happy birthday message. The day after my birthday I messaged like a crazed idiot telling him how hurt and upset I was, admittedly sent far too many messages but I lost my mind watching him read and ignore all my messages. Eventually I got one reply telling me to leave him alone, so I have. Now I am really missing him, no idea what I've done wrong. He has had form for this and did it the same time last year. I'm so confused and feel so rubbish about myself that he's treating me this way. Why wouldn't I deserve an explanation. We usually talk everyday several times. Think I'm writing here to stop me reaching out to him again, just to be rejected as I'm struggling to switch off tonight, he's taking over my head again. I wish I could just forget him yet with no answers I don't feel like I ever will..

You dare wish him a happy birthday!

You're a decent human being? Great! Because decent human beings don't reward control freaks or pander to their ridiculous demands or sense of entitlement.

No birthday wishes!

Happy Birthday my arse!

Block his number and then delete his number and all messages. YOU are in control here! Don't give yourself the temptation

So he bought the sofa I've had the last 2 years. This afternoon I've given it away and purchased my own. Only small but I feel really good about this

Go girl !

Brilliant move. Well done!

I can't help but smile when I think that I've actually done it! I loved that sofa. Probably more so because he got me it. Long gone now

So my new sofa looks amazing. I've joined the gym in the last 2 weeks and been every morning from school. I'm feeling pretty happy today

Well done OP!! Onwards and upwards!!!

Well done!!

Thanks! Feels abit loser like to feel so good about such small things.

You need to let yourself have a boost from the small things. It's the small things that build self esteem. You're doing amazingly well

Thanks. I'm doing better than I thought I would. I do still occasionally think of the tosser but surely that will pass eventually

I'd be interested to know what your childhood was like. Why are these material gifts held in such high regard? Some PJs, smellies and chocolates?!?! So what, he treats you appalling the rest of the tine. Everything I wanted to say has been said. Your self esteem is clearly on the floor. He has kept it down there and you are now afraid he is your last chance saloon. You need counselling pronto before this loser steals more of your precious life. He is abusive and you need to break free and stay free.

They don't, it was purely saying he was fine over Xmas. Does every couple not buy for each other at Xmas to begin with?

Well done op Iv just read the whole post your doing amazing,he doesn't deserve you there's someone out there that's going to treat you like the queen you are

Op you seem to be making great strides!
The only times I've been like this with a man is when I was besotted- not necessarily in love, just an obsession, especially when sex was really good.
Now I'm with my DH I realise what true love it!

Oh gosh, I too have just been there :o( I was seeing him for 6 months and all was more than perfect. He was attentive, constant texts, cards and declarations of love. Just before Christmas, he eventually met my DC and they loved him too. He thought they were great, bought them lovely Christmas presents as well as buying for my sister's 2 also (he'd only met them twice). He then did a huge about turn at the start of Jan as he didn't feel ready to be involved with the DC - he wanted me but not them. I was devastated and couldn't comprehend why he made such a fuss of them over Christmas. This was the first relationship since my ex hubby and I separated 2 years ago. All the old hurt and rejection surfaced again and I really couldn't cope. What helped was thinking what I would say if some guy did this to my DD. I would be livid and wouldn't want her to see him again. I then realized that I was more in love with the idea of being in love and having a partner, and that it wasn't necessarily about him. He was lovely and we didn't ever even have a disagreement, but I was papering over some of the flaws that I know would have just got bigger in the end. Please, try to remove the rose tinned glasses and see him for what he really is. Nobody deserves to be treated like that and he will be the one who has regrets. Move on and find someone deserving that loves and accepts you and your DC.

Well done onmybroomstick

You are we'll rid of that twat

maybe it was/is an obsession more than truly being love? I'm not sure. I know that I'm doing the best I've ever done with regards to being in no contact with him. I am better than him and we all deserve better

Well done 🍷

I just like to update on here now reminds me not to be weak! This weekend we were booked to go away, i got abit iffy about it the few days leading up to the weekend. Had a few twangs of sadness and massive anger. I thought I was going to be on a downer all weekend. Anyway I went out to another city with a few friends and had a fabulous day! Leisurely lazing round the house today after a few cocktails too many

Well done OP, you are doing brilliantly, well done!

Well done! Strength to strength!