My bf's ex is having his first child..help!!!

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Cut a long story short, i split up with bf for 6weeks i had some issues i wasn't dealing with. Anyway i regretted finishing it and after a long chat we still loved each other. My bf did say he dated someone else. Anyway all going fine got back together then bomb shell...the women he slept with is pregnant. Obviously it was a shock all around but my partner said he'd step up to the plate and be a good dad.
I said I'll stick by him even though it really f**king hurts and will be hard.
I love my partner to pieces and wouldnt do this if i didn't.
I want to know whats going on e.g scans ets but when he does it upsets me so much cos i want that.
Can anyone help with advise or just anything cos my heads all over the place.
Thanks you xxx

Sorry, don't know where the 'pal' came from.

My friend met her now husband and when they had been together just a few months the previous woman he had been sleeping with told him she was pregnant. Dates match and definitely his. He did not use a condom.

That was over a decade ago, but financially it has obviously impacted on them. My friend had no children at that point so this was his first child. She is incredibly accepting and they had the child with them EOW plus weeknights from when he was first born. Therefore they knew this child inside and out.

A huge commitment from both of them and they have gone on to have their own children.

But, it has not been easy and family members were vocal on the subject.

sammygold - ok yes I do understand sometimes people have sex with someone else to get over there ex etc. Just in the moment it really struck a nerve with me but yes I do realise how my comment came across.

Aslong as she knows how difficult this is going to be then I wish her all the best

I couldn't do it

'This will be for life.

All his firsts with a child won't be yours it will be theirs.
If it hurts now it won't get better. I know because my daughter went through it with her boyfriend and it broke her.
She's with someone lovely now and they expecting their first.

Aderyn2016 That is the most deluded and non child centred post I have read in a long time. Contact centers are not long term solutions and also are not there to negate your jealousy. Bloody glad it's not you in this boat. Have a word with yourself.

OP are you living with this man? After splitting and all the drama of the last year? And now there will be someone else's baby involved? Then no, you are not putting your daughter first. All the "trust me I would die for her" is easy to say and utter tosh. Putting her first involves actual day to day actions. Moving him out and sorting your own head out as you have said you need to do would be a first step. But it's one I doubt you'll make.

Thinking about this some more...tbh if I was you OP apart from doing the obvious which would be walking away... I'd want to give him some time so he can focus and bond with his first born child.

Personally I wouldn't want a relationship and the drama to follow, I would more rather step away, I would want him to be the best father for his child ( not saying a man can't be ) but I wouldn't want to be in the middle

And you should focus on your daughter, it will have a big impact on her being dragged through this also

Anyone else got a nagging suspicion that he might already be the father of one or more of the other five children? In 6 weeks it is sometimes easier to fall back into a previous relationship than it is to find someone new.

Or is that just cynical old me?

OP, I'd want to meet this woman. If your boyfriend has nothing to hide, he would welcome a meeting with her.

kidnapped had crossed my mind

I'm not sure if it has been cleared up but was it an ex girlfriend he slept with? I agree sometimes it's easier to go back to an ex

OP I don't think you're ready to hear all this feedback but please for your DD's sake, think seriously about what the majority are saying. A child needs continuity and a stable home environment. If you feel 100% certain you can accept the situation without jealousy or resentment, and that you and he have a mutually supportive relationship based on trust and respect, then maybe you have a shot. If you have any doubts I would honestly bail now for everyone's sake.