Husbands not come home - not answering phone

[unicornpoopoop]

Husband went out last night. Still not home. Not answering his phone or texts. Now what? Just wait and get increasingly stressed out/pissed off...?

Oh dear. What has he said his reason is for leaving?

Hope you have some rl support.

Am I missing something, he went out for a night out, didn't come home till late afternoon, and now he's leaving OP with two children. That's it, it's over.

He's leaving is he? Brilliant, pack him a bag and wave him goodbye. A much improved life starts tomorrow.

Blimey he really is a self-absorbed man-child

I'm actually more annoyed at the other mother.

You poor thing he sounds like a total waste of space. Poor you but reckon you will be way better off without him

Hope you're ok OP

What a nightmare. How dare he pretend you're in the wrong?

What a shit.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

Hope your ok , don't let him blame u for this one he is totally in the wrong xx

Oh OP - I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. Thinking of you

Hope you're ok. However he's a dick so you may be better off in the long run. Do you think he's really going to leave or is this a stop you in your tracks ploy to stop you giving him a fully deserved hard time?

Oh i hope you're ok op x

Not much more to report really.

He said he was drunk so didn't think to text me then fell asleep. So I tried to explain in which case upon hearing that I was worried, I would have expected him to apologise and make me feel better about it.

I asked what if it was the other way around and he said he wouldn't worry as he would use his common sense... It's quite upsetting to think that if I disappeared for 20 hours, he wouldn't think to wonder where I was or if I were ok.

Then he fell asleep... So fuck knows what's going on now. I've had enough but still want time to sort myself out so I'm not going to push anything yet.

His behaviour and attitude since he returned has been worse than worrying earlier. But he now thinks I'm only upset about a single text message. He can't see the bigger picture of what that single text message would have meant.

But thank you for everyone for your support and keeping me company today

I'm just so completely dumbfounded by this. I honestly don't know what to say. He did not sleep on someone's sofa (if the sofa is in the living room) until 3pm during the Christmas holidays. I do wonder if a PP is right though and that he has stayed out because he's planning on fucking off and leaving you with two small children.

Angryvagina (your user name did make me giggle) - I said that to him and it just pissed him off even more

He actually knows what he's done wrong and figures he can 'survive' it by being aggressive and unreasonable to you. His story does not add up at all. When I have been drunk and crashed at some place, inevitably I woke up early rather than slept in. And would have contacted my partner first thing, even had it been an incoherent text or voicemail. He has almost certainly 'played away'.

Unicorn... my god you must feel like shit. But from the little information you have put on here I'm sorry but this sounds like the profile of an emotionally abusive partner who has learned your weaknesses and is playing on them. It sounds like utter hell and there is probably a lot more to this story than you have been able to tell us here.
All I can say is if you plan to leave there will never be a good time and the cycle will continue...all witnessed by the children. Try your best to shield them so they are not damaged by HIS behaviour. I speak from experience - one night I just left whilst he was out and I never looked back. My anxiety still gets the better of me some days but I'm so much better off and after a bumpy start my son has a balanced and happy relationship with both of his parents. Had I of stayed god knows what effect it would have had on him.

Best of luck.

OP, I am rarely of the "there's obviously another woman," persuasion, however the fact that he's spent the whole night out, that he seemingly slept on the couch through someone's family life and was oblivious, and has now come home and said that he's leaving says to me that he went out with another woman last night, that they likely slept together and now he's come home and has said he's leaving because he will go to be with her.

None of his reasoning and excuses make sense, and it seems pretty clear that the mate and his mum knew he was out and have provided an alibi.

Regardless of the reasons I would let him go without comment tbh.

Well he definitely went out with them at some point as they picked him up. As he's asleep, I'm keeping an eye on his phone... Nothing suspicious. So far.

Also apparently the problem is I'm controlling and want everything my way... All because he wanted to go out on xmas eve and I actually had the audacity to say no!

Yes unfortunately there are lots of stories far worse than this one.

My main problem is that I was on maternity leave and 2 months ago gave my notice in so I could stay at home with baby for a while longer.
I need to find a new job before I do anything rash.

I would have loved to tell him to not come home but that's what he would have wanted

So he's basically checked out of the relationship already.

OP, you are worth so much more than what this man is making you put up with. Why are you letting him?

As a single mum I can tell you it is so much more freeing than having a man-child in your life who basically doesn't give a shit, except for having a cosy home with kids all sorted by his partner.

He's doing the attack is the best form of defence think here I think. He knows it's wrong but trying to turn it on you to get away with vile behaviour

Also apparently no one else would think like me... Haha there's a fair few on here that do. I think we all outvote him and his friends opinion on the matter