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Original poster

Husbands not come home - not answering phone

267 replies

unicornpoopoop · 27/12/2016 10:05

Husband went out last night. Still not home. Not answering his phone or texts. Now what? Just wait and get increasingly stressed out/pissed off...?

OP posts:
Lynnm63 · 27/12/2016 16:06

AnyFucker is correct your husband is a cunt. Pack a bag, leave it on the doorstep with the door locked. You don't deserve this shit. Staying out is out of order, no text is unacceptable but having a go at you at 3pm when you've had no contact since yesterday is fucking priceless.

shakeyospeare · 27/12/2016 16:10

First time I've ever said this on here: seriously, he's treated you/is treating you like crap. Pack a bag for him and let him stay out. He's having a go because it puts you on the back foot and he gets to transfer blame onto you. He's in the wrong here - not you.

I feel so angry for you - what a shit!!

Big hugs, OP, you deserve so much better.

Botanicbaby · 27/12/2016 16:12

Oh OP he's left you at home with a 5yo and a baby, not even deigned to let you know he wasn't coming home.

Stayed out all night, not got in touch first thing as I bet his friends Mum said you were worried?

He's an immature, selfish arsehole who shows you no respect! Please don't put up with his shit.

MadeForThis · 27/12/2016 16:13

What a bastard. Don't let him turn it round so you are in the wrong. Just text and tell him to stay where he is and send someone round to pick up his stuff.

Original poster
unicornpoopoop · 27/12/2016 16:19

Sorry I had visitors just as I was updating.

I asked if he was coming home soon and he sounded confused and said what time is it, I've just woken up.

So I told him and he said he could tell
Something was up with me so I said yeah it's half 3 and I've had no idea where you are all day... You didn't even bother texting Me..

And he's had a go saying he never goes out! And what's the problem! He's done nothing wrong blah blah blah.

So I've told him to get home and take over the kids and hung up.

OP posts:
clementineorange · 27/12/2016 16:20

OP, CakeBrew

Your partner is a dickhead and selfish twat. And a bully who is now making his horrid behaviour your fault. I would suggest he leaves for a while so you can both think.

Crinkle77 · 27/12/2016 16:25

So he's been asleep on someone else's couch all day? I don't think that is true. Surely the family of his friend would be using the living room and he would have woken up before now.

SouthPole · 27/12/2016 16:25

A real grown up husband and father, one who is responsible and loving and everything you want for your daughter's future partner does not treat those he purports to love most in the world like this.

A real man doesn't do this and if you said he isn't good enough for you so it is time for him to leave and live the single life he so desires, there's not another proper worthy man who would blame you.

This person isn't good enough.

NicknameUsed · 27/12/2016 16:25

"He's done nothing wrong"

Going out, not coming home at night, not letting you know he is staying out, not contacting you at all - and he thinks he's done nothing wrong? Hmm

He is your husband and father to 2 children. Does he not understand what he signed up for? He is behaving like an irresponsible teenager. Is there anywhere you can go to stay? Pack up you and the children, lock up the house and disappear for a few days? Oh, and don't tell him where you are?

SouthPole · 27/12/2016 16:30

Out of interest, when was the last time you went dark all night and all day?

ohtheholidays · 27/12/2016 16:30

Make sure you do go and rest when he gets in!

I know it's hard but start detaching yourself from him emotionally from now on,don't let on to him that anything has changed and start making plans from tomorrow about how you and your DC can start living your lifes without him,he sounds bloody awful.

I will never understand how any grown up that's a parent and in a commited relationship weather they're male or female can ever think that it's normal to go out and stay out for hours longer than was expected and not think they should contact they're partner and let them know that they're okay,where they are and when they'll be back!

He's treating you and his DC with such a lack of respect and love.I'd give more consideration to my neighbours than this man is to his own family!

His actions sound like those of a man who doesn't deserve a loving wife and DC.

Original poster
unicornpoopoop · 27/12/2016 16:34

Well he's walked through the door and would you believe HES not talking to ME Angry

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/12/2016 16:36

If it was half three and he'd just woken up then he must have seriously tied one on. That's not normal. It doesn't matter that he seldom goes out, getting so wasted you don't come home and sleep most of the day with no contact is terrible behaviour. What if something happened to you or one of the kids?

I don't know why you told him to get home, I'd genuinely have told him to stay where the hell he was.

Crinkle77 · 27/12/2016 16:36

What a tosspot. Leave him with the kids and go out. He will love that with a hangover.

Naicehamshop · 27/12/2016 16:37

Tell him to get out op. This is beyond anything.

peanut2017 · 27/12/2016 16:38

Op that's a total defence mechanism to cover up what he's done! He needs to explain himself! It's not acceptable. Would you leave him there for a few hours and go out?

Keremy · 27/12/2016 16:38

Ohh I've so been here. He knows he's done wrong but its deflecting the blame on to you and making it all about you rather than facing up to what he's done.

Seriously how hard is it to text and let someone know where you are crashing

It was a deal breaker for me and it shows how little he gives a shit about you.

Original poster
unicornpoopoop · 27/12/2016 16:41

Unfortunately i have no where to go right now. I have plans to see friends over the next couple of days though.

I would have loved to tell him to not come home but that's what he would have wanted - why should he get to hang out with his mates whilst I look after the kids

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/12/2016 16:45

I meant permanently not come home. You can share custody. You can't honestly think it's better to have him there solely to have him share child care on site.

If you don't want to seperate fair enough, say that, lots of women put up with Shite for reasons specific to them, but saying it is only so he can take care of the kids is a bit odd and short sighted.

kittybiscuits · 27/12/2016 16:45

Because that's how it's going to be when you finally kick him to the kerb and also because it's just degrading to allow him to come back given how he's treating you.

Naicehamshop · 27/12/2016 16:49

Yes, I meant permanently get out as well!

Miserylovescompany2 · 27/12/2016 16:50

I'd be texting him " THE END OF.." and if/when he replies !? Text back "US" he's totally disrespected you. Then has a go??

Be locking the door with the key kept in the lock!

6demandingchildren · 27/12/2016 16:51

I would tell him as he isn't taking to you he can have the kids as you are of out for some adult company

Misstic · 27/12/2016 16:59

I sometimes read these threads and rarely ever comment. I also often sympathetic to the fact that the other person in these relationship may not be at fault. On this case, I find your husband's behaviour inexcusable. It simply isn't acceptable for a husband to leave his wife and kids, staying out all night and most of the next day, disgracing himself and his family. What's worse, he never called to inform you. This man has zero respect for you, is irresponsible and an utterly stupid, stupid man. Get rid of him. Only misery awaits you if you do not put your foot down pretty heavily on this one. Do not fear about making things worse. Standing up for yourself and your kids may feel scary in the very short term but stay the course, it will be for the best in the long run.

OnMountains · 27/12/2016 17:01

Don't do anything in haste OP (in regards of the situation with others saying to leave him, or to tell him to leave).

If it's what you want to do long-term, you will still want to do it tomorrow, or the next day.

He sounds like an absolute royal scumbag from what you've posted.

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