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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husbands not come home - not answering phone

267 replies

unicornpoopoop · 27/12/2016 10:05

Husband went out last night. Still not home. Not answering his phone or texts. Now what? Just wait and get increasingly stressed out/pissed off...?

OP posts:
Horsegirl1 · 27/12/2016 17:04

What an utter thunder cunt !!! Is he hungover ? I hope he apologises when he realises what he has done. What would he do if you stayed out call night and day ???? Why is it men / fathers seem to think they have a hall pass to do as they fucking please! You deserve a good explanation and a sincere apology. If you don't get that , then it's definitely time to have a serious think if you are prepared to put up with this behaviour. Good luck op xx

Butteredpars1ps · 27/12/2016 17:12

I think your instincts are right here OP. At the start of the thread, I was prepared to consider that your OH had overdone it and was asleep/hungover at his mates - hence not messaging you & ignoring his phone.

The way this has developed shows I was wrong. This isn't just a hangover or a one off.

You clearly know you can't trust him and with good reason. My guess is you would be a whole lot less anxious without him.

LimitedSedition · 27/12/2016 17:13

If he talks to you, there's a danger he's going to have to do some parenting.

Original poster
unicornpoopoop · 27/12/2016 17:15

Well I think he's leaving... His choice...

I don't want this right now as I need to prepare.. But I don't think I'm going to get that luxury

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 27/12/2016 17:17

Oh op I'm so sorry. He doesn'tdeserve you

peanut2017 · 27/12/2016 17:18

Oh op that's awful. Ha she given any reason?

AlabasterSnowball · 27/12/2016 17:19

Unicorn I get the feeling that this is just one example of his behaviour towards you rather than a one off.

Costacoffeeplease · 27/12/2016 17:21

It may not seem like it now, but you are well rid of the twat

Squeegle · 27/12/2016 17:25

He sounds awful. So much the better if he leaves. I am sorry you are going through this but it doesn't sound like he is good to you.

Bluntness100 · 27/12/2016 17:30

Is this why he stayed out with no contact maybe, as he planned to leave?

kittybiscuits · 27/12/2016 17:31

I know it won't feel like it, but he is doing you a favour. His treatment of you is disgusting.

justkeepongoing · 27/12/2016 17:32

What a twunt! Prepare to prepare OP so that you can protect yourself and your family. Flowers for you my love.

lizzieoak · 27/12/2016 17:34

Is he an alcoholic? To me, non-alcoholics don't do that (my ex was an alcoholic).

Joysmum · 27/12/2016 17:34

My response to my DH being and arse and supposedly not seeing a problem is to ask him if he could ever imagine me doing x and, if not, is this because I'm the most amazing mum/wife with super high standards, or just treat him with no more than the love and respect I deserve from him.

Thingscanonlygetbetter41 · 27/12/2016 17:48

Is he partial to a coke binge? I had a very similar ex and believe me they don't change. Let him go, don't try and stop him, it will hurt initially but in the long run your life will be 1 million perecent better than living with that selfish knob. Do you have friends/family locally who might come and keep you company ? Honestly he sounds vile.

Empress13 · 27/12/2016 17:50

Makes me laugh the number of peeps on here who's first reaction us to leave him. She has two young children how the hell will she manage !!!

OP I feel for you but make sure you get a solicitor and find out what you are entitled to (if this is what you want). Let him leave family home. I hope you have some support in place.

What an utter bastard !

Spacecadet14 · 27/12/2016 17:53

Didn't you post a month or so ago about your DH having an emotional affair with an old friend and being glued to WApp and deleting messages? Is his behaviour today related to her? Are they still in touch?

QueenLaBeefah · 27/12/2016 17:59

Have you got any real life support near you?

Livelovebehappy · 27/12/2016 18:12

What an arse! He is threatening to leave because he is calling your bluff and wants you to beg him to to stay. Let him go and don't communicate with him. Let him do the grovelling and make sure you get a huge apology before you let him back through the door. You need to then make sure he knows you will not tolerate that behaviour again, and if he does his bags will be packed.

AlabasterSnowball · 27/12/2016 18:18

Sorry Unicorn. I hideously X posted there.
Do you still think he was sleeping at his friends house last night? Get all the support you can, I've read to many posts like this to lie about how this is gonna turn out

BarryTheKestrel · 27/12/2016 18:27

unicorn what an utterly shit day. Although you don't have time to prepare and it isn't the best time, him leaving now may well be the best thing that could happen.

He sounds like an absolute wankbadger and you and your dcs deserve better. Flowers

Montane50 · 27/12/2016 18:31

Simply bloody awful for you right now

Merriment · 27/12/2016 18:36

What an utter shit Angry. Men like this do that, behave like fucking selfish, irresponsible twats and blame their partners.

BifsWif · 27/12/2016 18:44

Plenty of people manage on their own with two small children Empress.

How are things now OP, has he left? Do you have any real life support?

TheHobbitMum · 27/12/2016 18:45

Complete dick Angry You can and will manage on your own and I bet it's a damn sight better than putting up with him!

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