It's been a busy day!
I had a text conversation with LCB first thing which went well (not!)
I'd filled in an outing consent form for Ds a week or so ago. It'd stayed in his bag all this time and I kept reminding him to hand it in. This morning I reminded him again and he said I'd missed a bit on it but it was ok because daddy had done it. So I checked it. I'd forgotten to do the bit about allergies, tetanus and gp details.
LCB had tried to fill it in but said Ds had no allergy (he has and was what he was hospitalised for last year) he had left the date blank for the last tetanus jag (because he wouldn't have a clue) and he hadn't signed it.
I texted him to thank him for filling it in but he'd made a significant error and left it incomplete anyway so next time could he please just let me know of my error and I would correct it.
He replied if there was a significant error that it must be something I had failed to inform him of wrt ds's health.
I replied that I was concerned he'd forgotten his son had an allergic reaction which caused him to be hospitalised and could he please just let me know if I have missed something in future.
I'm sure he was unhappy to be called out on it but I felt I had no choice. I did restrain myself from suggesting that he may have been distracted at the time Ds was in hospital (as this was the same time ow's dh found the messages and threw her out)
I also had my mediation intake appointment today.
I told the lady that I wouldn't be prepared to take part if I had to sit in the same room with him. That his manipulation and bullying tactics scared me.
I said I wasn't going to discuss contact or custody. That I had only agreed to this because he had bullied me into it.
That my agenda would consist of discussing the introduction of ow to the dc and the potential risks of that.
I didn't mention the messages but I did say I was concerned that ow had shown by her behaviour that she had no concept of what it's like to be a parent and no regard for the wellbeing of my children. That together, I worried about their combined record of risky behaviour. I did concede that I had an emotional response to her because she had been a friend of mine and I felt I'd been betrayed by her as well as LCB.
But mostly that LCB only wanted to introduce her to make his life easier and not because it would benefit the dc. That he felt that because the dc had asked to meet ow that they should be allowed to make that decision despite the fact they are children and unaware of the consequences of such a meeting. And I was concerned that LCB had also shown by his behaviour since our split that he too had no concept of his actions having consequences.
That there were other things I'd like to discuss; things like bedtimes and their diet, the need of LCB to be the dcs friend and unwillingness to parent responsibly.
She offered shuttled mediation which I've agreed to in the first instance but, as she said, if he refuses to discuss my points unless I discuss his, it may not work.
And tbh that's fine with me.
The custody thing is for him to take me to court over. And I'd hope his lawyer has told him the likelihood is he'd lose. Or at least not gain.
Then I saw him at pick up and, as I had been out with friends today, I wasn't in my usual jeans and mum coat. I had on my new dress, tights and boots (I swear I'm going to wear this dress to Tesco 
) and I looked hot 
He actually looked me up and down but he had pure hatred in his face. I was laughing with my friends but I saw the look. Presumably this mornings failure to show me up as a bad parent had upset him .
He fucking hates me probably more than I hate him. And it makes me feel awesome
Sorry for epic post 