Onit's still on it! Thread 3

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Hello to anyone who's still here

Links to previous threads.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2658829-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2690159-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me-follow-up-thread-Onits-on-it

I'm carrying on with this as I'm certain I'd be in a much unhappier state without the support I've received here.
This has become my journal of sorts and I hope it's something I can look back on in time to see how far I've come.
I also hope it helps to document the truth of my situation for the future and perhaps, if read by others, will offer help and hope to them too.

Not very tactful of the friend.

She whispered it. He didn't hear her. I think she was just surprised I didn't even acknowledge him

The last of tact wasn't because he might have heard her. Since he's a twat, why would she think you'd want to talk to him?

Well I think you're going to surprise a lot of people with how cool and badass you are. You've already surprised the shit out of LCB.

Deeply excited about POFlirting onit!

Still disgusted that he still can't devote his weekends to his kids. What a selfish prick.

You are amazing onit and well and truly onit!

Loving this new badass onit

I can't see what point in sitting next to him. He left, you are divorced, (or as good as). I think the message is twisted

Probably good for the kids to see you can be civil at least...although not if you don't feel particularly civil, I agree.

but its all about him again, he is on show.

I can't see what point in sitting next to him

I believe LCB is a school governor so it really is in his best interest to try and present a united front. Note that its in his best interests which is what these particular personality types are all about. I think next time Id be sitting away from him. But I do have to admit to admit the thought of him sitting there thinking has anyone noticed she's ignoring me has made me laugh.

That's what I meant MrsPW.
He is on show , & wants the world (parents gunners, teachers) to think he is separated on good terms & is a jolly fine fellow

guv'nors

Had a lovely afternoon out with my friends.
LCB called to speak to the dc while I was in a bar full of rugby fans. I answered and told him to call the house as I was out, then hung up.

He had texted this morning to ask about skyping (which he hasn't done since Christmas) and when would be convenient. He obviously knew I was going out hence the request to Skype rather than just call. He's such a knobend.

Hope you've had as good a day as me nigel

It sounds like you had a lovely day Onit. And to Scotland won just to make it extra special for you.

Your knobend is such a good laugh at times.

guv'nors

under the circumstances 'gunners' was a good typo

Tosser indeed. He doesn't need to Skype them he sees them every week. the phone is fine. He is looking for what? signs they are dirty? up after bed time ? being sat for by a crack head ?
"The children are out", sounds appropriate, & hang up.

I forgot he was a school governor.Now it does become clearer why it would be important to him to be seen with you, all cordial, in public.

That's odd about the Skype-I wonder what he hopes to prove? Not that it matters...he is a prat, we all know it.

Glad you had a good day onit. I had a nice night ta-no up getting ready to take the girls to the seaside for the day.Yes it's pissing it down, but they are desperate to go, so off we pop

As you know I've suspected LCB hasn't been living in the flat he takes the kids to.
Turns out if I'm not right now (I am), I very soon will be.
Had my iPad out for the first time in ages for Dd and checked the emails.
He has a tenancy agreement on a flat in the city. I think with her as her lease would be due to run out this month.

I asked Dd if daddy had mentioned moving house and he had told her he was maybe moving in with ow.

Now I wonder if this conversation happened last weekend when Ds was so clingy with him

I hate this motherfucker so much for what he's putting my dc through. He's so unaware of their feelings and process because he assumes what's good for him is best for everyone. How does a person manage to delude themselves like that?
Anyway, fuck him! It gives me loads of ammo for discussions about 50/50 custody which I'm sure will be imminent after mediation.
How can my dc stay overnight in a flat in the city 45 mins away on a school night?

Hi onit
I have read your thread from the beginning and want you to know that you are admirable and have dealt with this with so much dignity.
I had to post as my prat of a STBXH rented a flat when he left us too.
It was a charade, we all knew that.
He only stayed there to have the kids over.
My children are a lot older than your DC but they still initially wanted to see him.
But as the first few months after he moved into the "flat" went by it became so obvious he had never really lived there.
He was living with the OW who he had denied existed 😳😳
They are deluded twats and yours sounds a prize twat like mine.
I hate mine like you do for all the pain they have caused.
He is only interested in his deluded life.
With him moving into the flat , how can he expect your DC to stay there if it so far from school.
You sound like you have turned a little corner recently which is great to hear ❤
Least you have this information about the flat as knowledge gives you some power when you negotiate about custody of the children.
You are doing so well, it is shit at times and I know my heart has been broken into a million pieces by what has happened but we are getting there.
Keep going Onit, you are amazing 💗💗🌺

Thank you so much clockwork

I'm sure LCB thinks he's a clever bastard but, like most people who think that, he's actually monumentally stupid and entirely unoriginal.

Glad you're still onit.

Pleased all going well...or as can be expected.

He will try & move the goal posts, he will say he will have them every w/e or something similar, as mid week won't work... or maybe he will stay at PILs midweek...

Hahaha, he can dream ! You change nothing, not your problem

I think going back to work has given me a huge confidence boost.
And, though it pains me to admit I'm so shallow, having a few positive male comments is making me realise I'm not just what he made me; or what he made me believe I was. I'm not worthless and ugly and useless. I don't suck the good out of people. I am a whole person with feelings and opinions and wants and needs which are valid.

Exactly.
And you will end up better off for being rid of him, I'm positive of that.

YES HOORAH.......We said that going back to work would help your healing... Everything positive. Everyday, you see clearer & his "power & dominance" fade........ Dick

Yes onit, work can have a positive effect , it gives you purpose, keeps your mind busy and fills your day and helps you sleep better at night.
You certainly are not shallow by starting to try to rebuild your life.
Your twat sounds like mine did, making you feel worthless and useless.
Good on you👍 For realising that positive comments from men show that you are are worthy of love and kindness.
I am so pleased for you onit, you sound like a wonderful mum who would do anything for your children.
Enjoy that male attention and go at a pace that suits you.
And let him carry on with his deluded life , onwards and upwards onit 😃