My daughter has been taken away from me.

[Emmie1201]

It isn't fair, I'm her mum. Mum knows best :( I can't believe they're allowed to do this.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Please follow the advice from others above and contact Women's Aid. It's not too late for you to get your life back on track and regain your child. But please access all the help you can and do what SS ask.

My adoptive daughter's birth mum only managed to sort herself out 3 years or so after she lost her children, which was far too late. They will help you, but your daughter deserves stability and to not live in fear of a violent man, whether that is with you, or with another family.

Are there other concerns apart from your ex being a risk to you and your DD? Was her stay in hospital something concerning too? Drugs/alcohol? Mental health issues? Environmental concerns (clean house, sufficient food etc)?

Removing a child will be a last resort normally when all other avenues have been exhausted

No it isn't, social services can be so unfair sometimes, I know of someone who had their children removed due to the fact that the house was a utter mess.

Call Women's Aid!

You will never get your daughter back unless you get help to keep your ex away.

The police will be on your side. There is support for you out there, if you choose to take it.

Emmie I'm guessing you still believe what your ex tells you. Love, he has done a number on you and it's BS.

When he is threatening you, it is far safer to call the police than not to. You won't be rid of him unless you call them. Ever.

Stop listening to ex and listen and act on what SS are telling you.

I think you need to forget "fair" as a useful concept here and just start thinking in terms of what ACTIONS you can take that will convince SS of your ability, commitment and seriousness.

How far has this got? Has she just been removed, or is she now being permanently housed elsewhere? Do you have legal representation?

Op believe me when I say that when you are fully away from him then you will look back and see the mistakes you have made.

It's difficult when you are in the midst of it, it really is, but you can turn this around.

Also Google the Family Rights Group, which exists for the families of children taken into care. Their phone number is 08088 010 366

I can see that this must be very distressing for you Emmie - but now that you know your DD is safe, it gives you the chance to put into action some concrete plans to move where he cannot find you. Enlist the aid of the SWs or Women's Aid to create a new safe home for your DD.

SSD will have had no choice, and it does sound as though they have made the best decision for your DD at this moment in time. But it need not be for all time if you can show that you are making proper plans to find a safe place to live with her. Not easy I know - but really the only way forward for you all.

*Social services can be so unfair. I know someone who had their children removed due to the fact the house was an utter mess
*
before I even say anything. In what way was the house an utter mess?.

He pushed her one day and that was one thing too far and told him he needed to go this is the day my daughter ended up in hospital and SS got involved. I had many meetings and things lasted for months, they then were just like we're taking her. I know I was warned but I thought I had made improvement.

Women's aid? I just phone and explain things??

You are a victim of domestic violence. In a sane world, the state would help you and your daughter to leave and get away from this violent thug

Yes of course, but the state cannot force an adult to disengage from an abusive partner. If this woman cannot find the strength to leave him for whatever reason, what they can do is take steps to protect the child.

OP Please call Womens Aid.

www.familylives.org.uk is another useful one.

Yes OP tell them everything and ask them for help to get you to a safe place, then to take steps to be reunited with your DD.

You just call them OP

Phone women's aid. Be 100% honest about everything. They won't judge you and you are in a situation they have seen a million times before. They can help you.

Yes, call them. Tell them everything. Ask for their help in getting yourself safe and creating an environment that's safe for your DD to return to.

Yes just phone womens and tell them everything

DigestiveMuncher There's nothing to be skeptical about, the house was just a mess, we all know the meaning of the word mess... I am not going to go into it, this thread is not about the person I know, it's about OP, I was just giving an example!

Do it, Emmy, phone Women's Aid - or any of the other suggestions. Don't wait - the sooner you are taking positive steps, the sooner you will get DD back.

So he was physically abusive to her and hurt her sufficiently that she had to be hospitalised? Just want to make sure that is what you are saying. If that is correct then he poses a massive threat to her and is probably much safer away from you if he keeps finding you. As sad and awful as it is for you, SS will always act to protect the child. Stick with the SW plan and show them that you can keep your DD safe and hopefully she will be returned to you.

When my daughter was in a similar situation, she would log all incidents and call the police when her exH showed up. She was given an incident number and a number to call for help if he arrived and started his usual threats and abuse.

Nobody should have to put up with this sort of behaviour, and certainly not young children. As PPs have said, call either WA or one of the other organisations that can help you. Let SS see that you are serious about protecting your daughter. Good luck OP

By the sounds of it they didn't have much option. Sounds perfectly fair to me.

OK, you need to speak to your SW and ask them what you need to do to get her back.

There are some things that you can do pro-actively, to show your SW that you are serious about this.

1. Contact Women's Aid and enrol on a freedom programme.
2. Call the Police every single time your Ex shows up. You MUST do this. Ignore what he says. By reporting him to the Police it shows your SW that you are trying to keep him away and it also builds up a file of evidence for a restraining order.