My daughter has been taken away from me.

[Emmie1201]

It isn't fair, I'm her mum. Mum knows best :( I can't believe they're allowed to do this.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

You are a victim of domestic violence. In a sane world, the state would help you and your daughter to leave and get away from this violent thug. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Please do contact women's aid and other women-friendy organisations to find out what you can do. You need to make sure that you are safe from him.

[throwingpebbles]

Sounds like you need to speak to women's aid xx

[Sparlklesilverglitter]

Social services do not remove child from a birth parent for no valid reason

As a mother it can't be nice for you but they have to put your DD needs ahead of yours.

[DoItTooJulia]

Do you see that you didn't do everything they said?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess]

Don't panic. it doesn't mean you can't get her back. My DS was removed from me at three months (I'm a recovering alcoholic). It was awful BUT - and I give the same advice to anyone going through this - you HAVE to work with them. Agree to whatever courses/counselling/support they suggest. Show absolute willing to comply with their terms. Don't argue, don't fight.

My DS was returned to me because I did exactly what they requested - I got sober, went through rehab and attended counselling.

You need an injunction via a court order and you need SS to back you up. You can get her back but this twat needs to be absolutely out of the picture.

[Costacoffeeplease]

Did you try to get a non-molestation order to keep him away?

[blueskyinmarch]

I am a SW and i know children are not removed without very good reason. It is not easy to get a legal order to do this. OP, i know you think you are protecting your DD but if your ex is able to turn up and smash windows and you don’t report it, then she is not really being protected at all. I would get yourself to Women's Aid as quickly as possible and start taking steps to completely get away from your ex if you want to have your DD returned to you.

[MrsJayy]

Ring womens aid today get an appointment you and your dd need real life help your dd was in danger this is why she was removed if you cant protect her by calling the police every time he shows up she is unsafe carting her around trying to find places of safety is unsafe . Im so sorry this is happening to you but you need real life help and you need to help yourself too if you want her back.

[Thatwaslulu]

Have SS placed your daughter with a foster carer or a family member? My friend had her son removed by SS because she was in a violent relationship where he threatened to kill her and her son. He was placed with her mum, so she could still have contact whilst she was supported to leave the relationship. She had to get the police involved and SS required proof of the involvement with the non molestation order and a log of events. She is now free of the relationship and the ex is inside.

[EatTheCake]

Removing a child will be a last resort normally when all other avenues have been exhausted.

You can't not call the police when he turns up.

Being her Mum doesn't mean you always know best, it also doesn't mean you can keep her safe.

While your DD is safe in foster care I am sure the social services will have you another chance to work with them, Work hard on that

[Emmie1201]

She is 4.

[LIZS]

You can't guarantee that she is not exposed to your partner's violence and kept safe, so she has been taken to a place of safety and calm. Sometimes what the mother can offer simply isn't enough. You could have taken steps by involving the police and having him arrested but didn't, whether under threats or by choice. Running away doesn't solve the issue.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

There is also a woman clearly at risk here too. Death threats have been made against her and many women die at the hands of violent men.

[Emmie1201]

I was protecting her! I took her to a location he didn't know we were at. He lived with us and I admit she was at risk then but she wasn't when he was gone

[JellyBelli]

Will you phone Womens Aid and get help?

Womens Aid can offer practical advice and support, including the Freedom program.

0808 2000 247
Freephone 24 hr National Domestic Violence Helpline Run in partnership between Women’s Aid & Refuge

www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=CLTFlMWzgs8CFQaNGwod4qgDMQ

[MrsJayy]

You are right the op is in danger too

[KitKat1985]

I'm sorry this is happening OP, but you need to understand that SS clearly have concerns that your DD is in danger. What you need to do now is make a meeting with your social worker. Ask what you need to do to get her back. Get them to write it really clearly in bullet-points if necessary. Do everything they ask and try to work with them and not see them as the enemy.

[ChampsMum]

Emmie1201 I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you, and I do believe that you did take care of your child and did protect her.

She is protected now. That is why they have removed her

^ I don't understand why you'd say such a thing, knowing that OP is in distress right now.

OP when is the next meeting with social services?

[DigestiveMuncher]

You should of rang the police.
You could of got a restraining order or an injunction or something out on him.
There was loads that you could of done to prevent this from happening but you didn't.
That is not working with them, you was clearly spoken to about the possibility of your child going into care as they do mention this to you, they don't just snatch them up therefore you should of done what you could of done to prevent that.
You say he takes her I presume you mean your daughter and if that's right I'm afraid that is not keeping her safe.
I think maybe until you figure out what is safe and what isn't to be around your DD she needs to be supported by somebody.. it doesn't mean your going to loose her forever but I think there's a few things you need to learn and deal with before you get her back.

[ThinkOfTheMice]

You arent protecting her unless you use a non mol order and call the police every time he breaches it. Moving to a hotel does nothing to prevent him from repeating the behaviour.
Your daughter is at risk from a violent man and ss have a duty to protect her

[Soubriquet]

How terrifying it must be for a 4 year old to see her daddy smash Windows.

To see her mother probably screaming and hiding.

You need to get something sorted against him before SS will even think of giving her back

[PilkoPumpPants]

Has she been taken now op? Or are they trying to take her through the courts?

[MrsJayy]

But he is finding you and turning up you are you in contact with him?

[WicksEnd]

Can you see why Emmie?
Now is not the time to defend your actions, it's time to make a proper break, get support, contact women's aid, today.