My daughter has been taken away from me.

[Emmie1201]

It isn't fair, I'm her mum. Mum knows best :( I can't believe they're allowed to do this.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

"It's so sad to see these threads go the same way every time.
OP comes on here to ask for help [etc.]".

Marilynsbigsister I totally agree with you.

The MNHQ totally nailed it OP - please do get professional help - Women's Aid is a good place to start.

[Underchipsandpeas]

I don't think she was looking for help, I think she was looking for sympathy and someone to tell her she was a great mum and what big nasties ss are.

^^ This.

[YoHoHoandabottleofTequila]

I am wondering why this particular man is still at liberty to come banging on her door though - I would have thought at the very least he should have an injunction against him to prevent him going near his child. I suppose it depends on the severity of the injury and I don't know much about the procedures or the likelihood of criminal charges being pressed with this sort of thing

Being a paeds nurse I can (only from experience) tell you that the parent is arrested, and if they're released on bail they sometimes are allowed supervised contact whilst the child is in hospital. The child can go in to care straight from hospital and it's not uncommon to have police present on the ward to prevent any trouble, child being taken off etc. It's greatly distressing, for everybody.

[cestlavielife]

Emmie you need to call police every time.

999 if he is smashing a window.
101 to report and ask for support

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

OP (if you're still reading this), I mean this kindly but you really do need to see the situation through the eyes of SS.

A 4 year old child is pushed so hard by her father that she requires hospitalisation. The mother of that child, although she loves her DD very much & cares for her well in other ways, will not call the Police when this "father" turns up at their home in a violent rage, trying to smash windows etc. This obviously leaves the child living in extreme danger of further injury and, let's face it, witnessing some terribly scary scenes.

If you read that story in a magazine OP, what would you say? This would appear to be the true reason your DD has been placed in to foster care.

Now, you need to have a meeting with your SW and find out exactly what you need to do to stand a chance of your DD being returned to you. Then you need to follow that, to the letter. Jump through every hoop they give you. No excuses. I have no personal experience of Woman's Aid, but it does sound as though they could really help you with this.

If you do nothing, your DD will remain where she is and you will remain in danger from your violent ex. Don't you both deserve so much more than that?

[slenderisthenight]

OP. You must be in terrible pain.

If you want to get your DD back, you need to do exactly what SS tell you to do. Exactly.

You seem to understand that the problem with your ex harassing you was your failure to call the police. I understand that you were too scared to do that. It does seem very unfair that they took your DD because you were too scared to call the police. But they are only trying to get her out of the situation.

I don't think they will give her back until you can show that you understand why it was best for her to be taken away, given that you weren't able to call the police and get help to keep your ex away. No, it's not fair but it would be more not fair for your DD to grow up in that situation, if you see what I mean.

Show that you can call the police to keep your ex away, that you understand what it takes to keep your DD safe (going to a hotel is not enough) and anything else they want to see.

Good luck.

[YoHoHoandabottleofTequila]

The ex won't be allowed near the DD as it would be breaking his bail conditions (he will have been arrested if he hurt her). I'm not sure if she went in to care from hospital or from home but the OP should have called the police.

[LastAnni]

Any update OP? Was just thinking of you.

[Heatherjayne1972]

Emmie. The police keep records of people's names etc so if you ring because he's smashing windows that's on their records So the next time he turns up they already know before they get to yours and then every time after
If you call EVERY time he comes round that looks better for you and is evidence against him
They won't mind That's what the police are for- to protect you
But please do work with ss - do whatever they ask you to
It'll be ok