Porn, lies, porn, lies and repeat.

[Pornybastard]

Title in a nutshell really.

Been with DH 11 years, caught him on some really nasty stuff nearly 7 years ago and wanted to kick him out but got the whole "all men do it" trope so I swallowed it hook line and sinker. This was before I realised just how fucked up the industry is and if I'd have known then what i know I would have made bunting from the reg flags and thrown a party to celebrate his departure but he said (and acted!) as if he had changed, he was very clued up on how damaging it is to intimacy and very VERY certain that part of his life was over and he had grown up and respected women deeply and understood my feminist viewpoint and supported me 100%, even laughing at "sad bastards" (his words) that threw away loving wives and families over a wank.

Well...(you know what's coming)

Caught him again yesterday, on those dodgy chat roulette and some sort of porn messenger app. I've kicked him out, he's at his mothers but if it wasn't for our DC I would love nothing more than never to see his grotty, lying, hypocritical face ever again.

I'm smart, have an excellent career and I'm attractive -no Samantha Brick but we can't all be modelesque eh? Please keep me motivated to keep the little tosses out. Just needing some moral support as the family are now butting in with the "Just one more chance he lurrves you" shite

(And i am now going to undermine myself by biting because I can't stand this sort of ignorance to go unchallenged)

I am so glad that you have found a way- just by looking- to tell which porn is forced and which is women enjoying their 'fake tits'. I'm sure that makes you feel better.

Because the forced, unpleasant stuff is all labelled 'drugged, coerced, exploited woman is raped on film', so if you avoid that, all is fine, right?

I'm not leaving my DC contact will be 50/50 as that is what suits me and my work/social schedule. I'm not going to martyr myself or punish the DC - plus they are over 11 and have enough nouce to make decisions and know both H and I will support them either way. We earn enough cover 2 properties and I will probably stay with my parents for a while once the notice has been given because they will provide support and I don't have to rush into any living arrangements in haste. They have plenty of room and love to go around in my family so I have lots of options open right now.

Do some people really not like posters having their own shit together? Am I supposed to be raving, screaming and crying in an irrational manner or something? Yes, it's shit but no one has died and I will be ok.

I think it's funny that you think I'm a man
I'm not, I'm a 25 yr old, 28 weeks pregnant girl in a very happy relationship who has merely expressed opinions on what has turned into a debate. I might add it was not prompted by myself whilst you all start attacking me now.

Birdybirdywoofwoof - The child pornography point - please again, re read where I've thanked everyone for putting me straight as again I quote "My IGNORANCE of child pornography is normal, I'm absolutely certain 99.9% of the human race have no knowledge or wish to seek no knowledge of it!"

I'm not the porn police & obviously I do not know what is forced or willing all I know is some people watch it, some people don't. Everyone is bloody different.

Amazing how any form of supportive comment I have put in this thread has been completely overlooked.

Porny- it is actually a wonderful thing to behold a woman with strong boundaries who has their shit together and knows it's all going to be fine - because with that attitude, it absolutely is.

You have no one to answer to.

But also - if down the line - you feel less strong and tough and need support, it is perfectly fine to come back and ask for some strangers to hold your hand.

And hopefully the porn-apologisers will goady fuck off next time.

I'm not the porn police & obviously I do not know what is forced or willing exactly LH - which is why engaging in the porn industry means that the person in the film may be coerced, being (actually) raped, been trafficked, be exploited. I don't think it's ok to get your rocks off to that.

LHilton maybe start your own thread and stop trying to derail this one.

Look, you've talked about rape porn being an acquired taste, you've talked about child pornography, you've talked about women in porn with their fake tits out loving it - I mean, doesn't matter if you're man, woman or just a twat- you Are a serious under-thinker with very little understanding of what you're on about - and that's a shame.

You're not over reacting. You have boundaries which you made clear and the sleazy bastard has trampled all over them and completely broken your trust.

An nope, you definitely don't have to be a sobbing wreck.

I don't think it's right to tell a poster to stop posting unless they are being nasty. It's not right to tell them not to post just because they are looking from different views weather Iraq right or wrong

Kittybiscuits - no worries, I'm leaving this one. It's a subject never to be settled & I will not be attacked for differences of opinions or have people interpret what I've said in every negative way possible.

You're not being attacked due to a difference of opinion you are being called out because you have shown a complete lack of understanding on this subject.

Porny I think having your shit together is a fantastic thing and I really admire you for it. I've said it before but I wish you the best of luck for the future.

I'm quite happy to take constructive criticism & have a debate with intelligent people but I will not be insulted by someone lacking the ability to articulate their viewpoint.

I've had people pick out sound bites of what I've said to add their two pennies worth of criticism, yet I've tried to outline the fact that pornography has been in existence since the beginning of the written word & it is common place within literature from D H Lawrence to E L James.

My argument is that porn has been part of our society for hundreds of years whether written or visual, agreed with or against. I would argue som is acceptable, some is not, but this will never be agreed upon .

LHilton foot binding and genutal mutilation has been around for a long time too so should we just accept that?

Genital*

It is hugely in pro-porn people's interest for women to feel unsure about defending their boundaries, that's why they are all here minimising his behaviour and trying to excuse lying

Haven't said accept it!!!!
Haven't excused his lying!!!!

"Do some people really not like posters having their own shit together? Am I supposed to be raving, screaming and crying in an irrational manner or something? Yes, it's shit but no one has died and I will be ok."

Applauds OP

Stay angry. You have every right to be. He is an utter shite.

You kicked him out OP, well done.
If a man watches rape porn, he has shown what he thinks of women and consent. Get rid with the speed of light.