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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes...braving the Autumn

999 replies

Mrsmimsy · 14/10/2016 23:24

??? Xxx

OP posts:
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13
Fairenuff · 26/10/2016 11:57

Hey babes thought you might like to see this. I was browsing Amazon and looked at a portion control thing for cooking pasta. Checking the reviews, this made me Smile

'In my previous life I was a sperm whale called Albert. I led a simple life that involved a lot of travel and eating. At my reincarnation party I got absolutely hammered and when checking in the body parts the Japanese "research vessel" hadn't hacked off me in the name of "science" or soup I inadvertantly held on to my appetite gland, which if I had known I was going to end up in the body of a lazy Scottish man with a drinking problem I'd have definitely handed in knowing life would have been difficult enough with one vice without the added hassle of being a fatty as well.

So I have gone through life with this gnawing feeling that 1 I should swim more and 2 accidently smack anyone that looks like they may be a fisherman and 3 no concept of portion control having previously been used to eating a ton of squid and fish a day, funnily enough 2 things I won't touch in this life, probably had enough of it as Albert.

This device is very clever its easy to keep clean because at this price I can't afford to put any amount of food in it. However as a result of blowing this weeks food budget on this contraption I have noticed my clothes getting loose so I gave it 5 stars as if nothing else it has helped me with my portions.'

Grin
Fairenuff · 26/10/2016 19:15

I appear to have got on the wrong bus. This one is empty.

Or has horridbabydoll got you all? Halloween Shock

dementedma · 26/10/2016 19:24

Oh, I posted faire in response to yours. Don't know where it went!

madein1995 · 26/10/2016 22:10

Hi all Smile bounds on bus with unusual energy (been told at physio that I'm really energetic ... preens Grin), armed with peach and passion fruit water, blueberry muffins and some crackers and hummus Smile Come on everyone, get on the bus Grin I have some good tv watching - new tricks boxset or peaky blinders boxset for Cillian Murphy stalkers fans like me. People who have had a bit of a bad day I also have paracetamol, coffee and warm duvets Smile

elba hope you're doing ok today love.
Hope everyone else is ok

theansweris42 · 26/10/2016 22:23

Hi all, been bonkers day with DC, we've not stopped.
Going to have a nice slow morning tomorrow and enjoy half term.
Not drinking tonight - if I resist buying in the aft, can't get out in the evening so it's not really control but it stops me drinking!
Am being very careful about drinking in front of DC, because so aware of the effect daily drinking seeming normal could have on DC. One of the reasons for separation.
Been in new house 1 month.
No idea what's happening with H. I feel every emotion about it every day.
All easier to manage when not drunk OR hungover.
Hope your Wednesdays were okay.
Candice won GBBO Smile

theansweris42 · 26/10/2016 22:24

Arrrgghhh sorry if that's spoiled it for anyone!

tismesober · 26/10/2016 22:49

Candice won GBBO Sad all that pouting nearly drove me to drink
Hope everyone is ok......check in tomorrow

Elba84 · 27/10/2016 03:30

Hi all. Not drinking (or sleeping) but still struggling. Realising it's probably the not drinking part that's making so irrationally upset. Actually been on google obsessively reading about cutting contact with parents (although in reality I won't have to guts to) and someone had written a comment along the lines of 'no child wants to be without a parent, so wouldn't cut them out of their life without a valid reason'. Genuinely not looked at it that way and it made me sob when I read it. Just feel so incredibly sad about everything, and it's probably made worse by removing my main coping mechanism. Although weirdly I have no inclination to drink.

Sorry, totally self absorbed again tonight. But thanks for being there, and faire thanks for your lovely post.

theansweris42 · 27/10/2016 08:46

elba your upset isn't irrational.
I have a mother who has been a source of stress worry anxiety all my life. Chronic depression and a PD.
In the last few weeks I've come to realise there's nothing I can do or say. It is her, not me. She's awful to me and I've spent years trying to compensate!
Your Dad's problems are his not yours.
To him, your contact with him makes either no difference or just provides him with an outlet for his anger/abusive behaviour.
I wonder if your upset is caused by the conflict of you knowing this and the guilt you feel at wanting to stop it. Perhaps also by grief for the father/daughter relationship that either never existed or is gone.
I can only offer my experiences, am not an expert.
But I feel for you and I can tell you you're not the only child feeling this way Flowers for you

dementedma · 27/10/2016 18:54

Checking in. Nothing much to report.

Fairenuff · 27/10/2016 19:10

Well ma, you could tell us a little more about midget Obama. Oh no, I have not forgotten, your secrets are not safe with me Grin

dementedma · 27/10/2016 20:45

Bum! I had hoped you had forgotten about that!!!Grin
He's ...erm...a friend of mine.

madein1995 · 27/10/2016 22:08

Good news, I have been invited for a 2nd interview at the nursery on mondsy. I cant have won them over then - but they might have seen something in me so fingers crossed! Am going to try my hardest 😊

laladidah · 27/10/2016 22:40

Oh my god. Mr L has been looking at engagement rings. Left his phone open on the side... not sure how I feel about this...

tismesober · 27/10/2016 23:22

Oh ! Lala Smile

tismesober · 27/10/2016 23:25

ma we all remember midget Obama SmileSmileSmile

tismesober · 27/10/2016 23:26

Well done made

tismesober · 27/10/2016 23:27

elba how are you are........please check in

obrigada · 28/10/2016 12:52

Hiya babes, just checking in. Have been lurking but not posting.

Waves to all babes xx

madein1995 · 28/10/2016 18:23

Waves back to obrigada

How are you doing elba?

Ooh that sounds good la Smile

Hope everyone else is ok

tismesober · 28/10/2016 20:04

Oops didn't quite work but you get the gist Smile

theansweris42 · 28/10/2016 21:47

Hi
I'm here, wondering what to do with self!
Having wine taking it slow.
Nothing from H, it's been me trying always, I've said to him it needs to be him trying. And nothing. Silence. What does it even mean? That's he's not interested in putting in ANY effort to keep us together I suppose.
So so sad Sad
Drinking won't help, but of course, in the super short term, will help.
On the other hand, I've had a lovely with my DCs. Love National Trust Smile

theansweris42 · 28/10/2016 21:50

Elba how is today?
la is that good news??
made second interview that's great!

Elba84 · 29/10/2016 02:03

42 sorry that your feeling sad and that things are so difficult with your H. Sorry too for what you've been for with your mother, and thank you for your lovely post and understanding.

made well done on the second interview!

Sorry to sort of disappear- working stupid hours, and not sleeping either. Heard nothing from my father since I hung up on him on Monday- but have had the landline unplugged, mobile off and voicemail disabled- adopting the head in sand approach. Waiting for his next move though, which from past experience could mean anything from sending multiple bunches of flowers to suicide threats (a particularly cruel tactic given family history). Anything to make me give in and contact him. So I was even nervous checking the post when I got home from work. Pathetic really, feel like I'm in hiding even though he's miles away.

Keep going over so much in my head to the point I'm almost disconnected from everything else. Last time I saw him he kept staring at me in the eye, asked me if it made me uncomfortable then laughed when I said yes. He told me it was his right as I was his daughter. For some reason this keeps playing over and over in my head and I genuinely can't work out who, if anyone, was wrong or if it's just me overreacting.

Haven't had a drink since Monday though, so at least have kept mainly af (25 out of 28 days so far), but I think that's why I'm feeling things so acutely. On the plus side I had so much weird energy going round the other morning that I managed a 6 mile run at 5am. Keep trying to remind myself nothing's actually changed. I think for a while on Monday I thought that this was actually 'it'; I've been half expecting (waiting?) him to go for the last few years (multiple health issues he won't get treated for). Feel like a heartless bitch admitting that.

Sorry for such a long rambling post, probably not the right place to write all that but just need a bit of a rant I think. And sorry for being a miserable cow, I will try and snap out of it I promise.