This is when I feel so aware of my dreadful relationship with alcohol, 'normal' people don't want wine like I do and if they do they just have it. It's not a huge internal 'will I, won't i'.
Oh yes, I get that, I obsess actually, I can be out somewhere for lunch having a drink and panic in case there's none left at home for my return. I have woken up in the morning planning my evening around wine.
I want to be the woman who can thoroughly enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or at a wedding, enjoy a glass of Baileys while stuck into a book. I don't want to be red-faced, bloated, angry, bitter woman who starts and sometimes finishes bottle 2.
I used to have such self control, once upon a time, I hated feeling even a little tipsy, I could go out, have two drinks to join in and switch to water, I was the same with my finances and home - tidy, organised, sorted.
It changed when I met Mr Lux, bad habits crept in (I can only blame myself) and the habits haven't changed. My blood pressure is at quite dangerous levels, so's my bank balance 
The fridge is full of Sparkling water, which I do enjoy the taste of, my luxury tonight will be to trim down my flaky, brittle nails and slather on plenty of oil round the cuticles. I might paint my toes as I think I still have the colour from August on.
I will be a Gwyneth Paltrow style luxury woman (kinda)
I could weep at the pride my daughter has at my efforts so far, for God's sake, a child should possibly be proud of their mum because she has a great job or is a great cook, it's my job to be proud of her, not her of me.
All the other mums are bemoaning their hangovers and wine habits too, it's so common the old 'Wine o'clock' thing.
I think I will be ok tonight, it does help talking on here, so thank you.