Brave Babes...braving the Autumn

[Mrsmimsy]

??? Xxx

Hi all just about to poas. Had weird feelings and been emo for a few days skin is spotty then thought oh...Il be back x

Wtf? nine why is that funny?

choc hope you get the answer you want xx

Ha thank god for that!! No im not these two drive me crackers as it is! Dp keeps saying it could be wrong. It must be all tge stress of xmas x

joey that's a big decision and I know not one you will have taken lightly. I'm no fairy Godmother but am here if I can help.

joey hope you're okay choc glad you're happy with result x

ma with your wise words and shiny triangle, you are the nearest I'll come to a fairy godmother!

Well I told him, it went as well as expected and now we're trying to play happy families in front of the kids/inlaws.

I feel so guilty, but also like I had to do something

joey It sounds like you have your reasons, but I know that doesn't make it easier. For what it's worth (probably not a lot at the moment), it takes a lot of bravery to make that decision. Thinking of you, and sending virtual hugs.

spanna I'm in for an attempt at dry January (and maybe beyond- but that scares the crap out of me). It sounds like your life is so much better without the booze, and my almost sober October made me feel so much better. Thank you for all your support.

Had a good time last night, managed not to get drunk when I was out. Then a horrible phone call from my father when I got back lead to me downing a bottle of port - the headache this morning was horrendous. Spent today in my pyjamas watching the least Christmasy tv I can find. Had enough of this now. Was thinking why wait until January, but of course am now drinking again tonight. So the cycle continues...

joey wow! I've never actually found the courage to do it. I am so proud of you!
Elba I'm the same, but determined to change and Dry January gives me a target to go for. DD has just made a monthly fitness plan for January. I WILL do this.

Elba hope you had a brilliant night with your friends and that your Christmas was better than expected

Spanna I’m taking you up on that! Don’t think I could do dry January (or at least not without obsessing over NOT drinking) but I do want to keep it to only non – workday nights and not go over the 14 recommended limits. Have to be careful as last year I just carried on drinking past Christmas and need to avoid that.

Joey I hope you’re ok, and I’m here for you.

Elba think of the new year as a fresh start and don’t beat yourself up, is there any chance you could stop drinking?

I just want to thank you babes for being here this year I know I’ve been a very unreliable poster at times but honestly, I don’t know what state I’d be in had I not came on here, sounds soppy but you’ve given so much strength lay in bed last night thinking of 10 things that went well/I’m glad of in 2016 (rather than declaring 2016 as an awful year which it has been in some ways) and the second thing on my list was coming on the bus. Sorry for the soppy message it feels so good being able to talk about feelings and things on here!

Joey you are a brave babe I hope your ILs aren't there for too much longer. It takes a lot of courage, do you feel some sense of relief after saying it? I'm of the school that 'life is too short to be unhappy'. We don't know what's around the corner and we have one life to live. (that we know of) Please be kind to yourself. If you need to rant, let it out! Leaving a long term relationship or marriage is a grieving process. I found writing stuff down really useful and asking myself, who, what, where, when, why and how. I'm sending you hugs and strength.

Elba oooooh the port hangover, I'm very familiar with it head turning, delayed brain sounds like you needed a fat coke & bacon sarnie. I'll be hot on your tail during Dry Jan Remember when you couldn't even contemplate one night without a drink Be very PROUD of yourself - you have achieved so much It's just 31 Days, DON'T, whatever you do project ahead of this! Just aim for one day at a time, think of the hangover free days, your clear head, much more focus, improving your running - the benefits are endless. Remember the good times, there will be many more And remember to watch the film to the end, it's never a pretty sight

Oh this is a hard time of year for so many people

Survived the evening, but it turned out okay in the end - which makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing I have had too much to drink and the next few days are going to be hard

I've contacted my old counsellor - whatever I decide, it will be easier with support.

Thanks to everyone who replied, and hope you are all managing okay at such a difficult time

joey you're making a brave start to a new year. I think (remembering alllllll the way back when I was on the bus proper) that this has been occupying your thoughts for a long time, I guess you're ready to act on them now. Best wishes lovely.

I survived Christmas and it was better than expected. Got a bit sticky towards the end of Boxing Day when ds just couldn't manage to sit still & behave for one more minute- why on earth do we expect small children to sit about indoors anyway? I'm ignoring the fact that ds is like an untrained springer spaniel at the best of times.

Much drinking has occurred and I'm aiming for an af day today. Planning on drinking fizzy water and sober and watching bollocks on the tele 📺
I quite like it when Christmas is over and done with!

Morning all, just checking in - procrastinating from doing the tidy up, I would be so ashamed if anyone came to my house right now. I've been totally self indulgent and self absorbed the past 2 weeks but that stops today! And with it the drinking. I "managed" 3 days af last week and then cracked open the port, so tasty. But I am now determined (again, ha) so this is my day 1, and I'll be joining forces with you all for dry January.

I'm sorry that others are going through tough times, it can be a right bitch at this time of year.

Ideas of what to do instead of drinking?

Take care everyone and remember to be kind to yourselves.

Back home now, honestly can't decide if I'm overreacting or if we should go to relate or something. Although he would never agree to go to relate!

Horrid atmosphere, am tempted to go in to work tomorrow even though I have the week off. The estate agents are closed today and am a nervous wreck and desperate for a drink.

And he said we couldn't afford it, but I've done the maths and I think we could just about, but maybe I'm wrong. And then he said "what about the dog?" cause he loves the dog, but we cannot stay together because of a dog!

Only I didn't realise but the estate agents charge fees just for setting up the tenancy - never mind, will dip into savings.

I feel so guilty, he's not a bad person but I want out.

Sorry this is all me, me, me. Good luck to those aiming for a post-Christmas AF day

Keep at itjoey
He doesn't have to be and person for you to want out.

joey sorry you're going through this. But no, you should never stay together for a dog. When my sister separated from her long term boyfriend a few years ago they split custody of the dogs, which worked for a while but ultimately he lost interest.

Also, depending on where you are in the country would private renting be an option? I've rented all my adult life moved house countless times, this is the first time I've gone through an estate agent. (Who is extraordinarily reasonably priced).

It's not easy splitting up from someone, but in the long run it can make you a much happier person.

I think what triggered all this is that I was browsing rightmove and saw an ideal rent, really cheap, perfect location, and it made me think it was possible.

But I don't know if it will work out, and even if it does it will take longer than I realised (in my impatience I imagined just agreeing it with the estate agent and moving in next week lol!)

I didn't anticipate spending the next week off work and sitting around barely talking! And if it falls through, I've jumped the gun unnecessarily!

Afternoon, Babes.

Joey, it's a decision that has been a long time coming - I've been there - I've been through the 'pretending it might be ok, and she don't mean it' he did for a month after. It wasn't an easy process, but it was the right thing. We will be here for you whatever happens.

Dubh I've come to claim my christmas bosie! Your poor wee terrorist, SweetDog and I have fingers and paws crossed for her.

Spanna, Ma I'm in for DJ!

Beaches

I'm just marking time now until Jan. Christmas was relaxed - because DH and I had been ill, there were only token gifts (literally I spent less than £10 on him - DS had the foresight to do an Amazon wishlist in November!), but it was really nice, I think it may set a precedent.

Joey is there any chance you can get away for a couple of days? Stay with a friend, or even a B and B somewhere to have some thinking space and get out of the atmosphere?

I'm hungover again and not even dressed. Just realising how totally boring drinking is. Ive spent so long doing very little aside from drink, recover and work. Going out tonight but meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow so there is incentive to not go too mad. Can't not drink tonight as got myself into the horrible state of being too anxious/hungover to go out without a drink first. Never usually get any time off over the Christmas period and feel like I've wasted it- colleagues would kill for four days off at this time of year and are stuck at work, while I've just sat at home drinking and being miserable. So ready to stop this now.

I just weighed myself. HOLY FATBALLS!
I need to shift a stone and a half just to get into healthy category. DJ will help but bloody hell. Daunting.
Salmon for dinner will make me feel virtuous.

sweets love the doggy photo!

ma you and me both (the weight shifting part, not the being virtuous)

More obstacles in my way; have realised I'd need to buy a fridge and a washing machine... and now I've noticed that the 'perfect' flat does not have a dog-proof garden

Meantime, DH is really trying to be better (don't know how long it will last) and I'm having second thoughts. If I could have just done it, I'd have made it work ... but the spur of the moment feeling has passed.

joey I had similar experience... But once begun, my brain kept up the property search.... Just keep your mind open to change. I moved after 3 months or so of really looking.
I've had wine, off to bed now. Told H his head in the sand approach won't save our relationship. He just seems to be clueless.
At least we don't live together at present! Anyway.
Hope all are okay. Funny time of year, what?

Bit of an odd day today! Mam is still mentioning my 'massager' although I reckon she'll forget about it soon enough (hope so anyway).

Had an apology off a manager today. I'd been moved to a different till and my detagger wasn't opened, she'd looked at it but left to get key and that was 45 mins ago and customers were getting irritated - so I buzzed again, twice. She comes over and tells me not to do that because she had me 'buzz buzz buzzing in her ear' and couldn't concentrate, in front of other colleagues and customers. Customer comments that she doesn't think it's appropriate to speak to staff in that way in front of customers and there's no need of it, I say it's ok, manager leaves. She comes back later, I apologise, she explains the key has been lost, I say sorry again and she says it's ok. She comes back later with key, opens it and says sorry for being rude, I said it was ok and not to worry, I understood. So a bit odd but all sorted - was a bit upsetting (though I hid it) as been nothing but helpful and get on well with all managers. Happy I dealt with it calmly and not by bursting into tears as I did in old job though. And me and her seem fine now. And I start my new job on Monday have bought new clothes in anticipation!