I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years before I met my husband. My ex, S, started off as a charmer - even asked me if he could kiss me before our first kiss. I was 17 and he was my first real boyfriend; he was 29 and hiding the fact he was married. He left his wife after she found out about me. One night we had arranged to meet up and he was late, so I turned up at his mum's house. He was really angry and pushed me, the first time he had shown me anything but courtesy and kindness. After that first time, he apologised and promised it wouldn't happen again.
A few weeks later I wore a short skirt on a date with him. He questioned if it was appropriate to wear it to visit his parents. This was the first sign of controlling behaviour. Over the next few months he gradually eroded my confidence whilst isolating me from my friends and family. I only had him but he said it was us against the world. I thought I would never be wanted by anyone else, and besides I was infatuated.
My parents were concerned and when my dad found out that S had been spending time with his (now ex) wife he begged me to leave S. We argued and I moved out of home and in with S.
Once we were living together and nobody was likely to see the bruises, S hit me all the time. I wasn't allowed to see anyone after work but he went out all the time. I got pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion, saying he would kick the baby out of me if I didn't. He got me to take out loans to clear his debts (I didn't know until that point but he was bankrupt). He kicked me down the stairs for reading Cosmo as it had a shirtless man in it, then when we got locked out and the fire brigade had to come to get us back in our flat, he beat me again for making him kick me down the stairs and get locked out. He raped me after beating me on more than one occasion, and would stick his hand down my knickers when I returned from work to check that I hadn't been having sex with anyone else.
The reason I am telling you all this is that control and violence start small. They test the boundaries and once you accept it on one occasion, they go a little further and a little further until it becomes commonplace yet you can't leave because you are scared of life without him because you are isolated. My advice is to leave if you can. Things will escalate and if he has hurt you once and is trying to control an aspect of your life, it is likely that he will continue. I never believed I would find someone to love me after he left me, but I did and have been married to a kind and caring man who has never raised a hand to me in the 17 years we have been together. Good luck.