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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

We don't agree on babies name ....

185 replies

user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:30

I know it's a joint decision but I feel so strongly about this.
My late mum died when I was 11.
She was my best friend and we were always together and I'm now 30 and not 1 day goes by I don't think about her.
I'm an only child and I always said if I had a daughter I would name her after her.
Her name was Dinah ..now I know it's a old fashioned name but I don't care.
It feels right and the thought of not calling her Dinah makes me upset.
My Oh says we aren't calling her that and he wants to call her Lisa.
I don't want it has her middle name.
I know I'm being unreasonable but I just really want this.
I feel like my mums memory will live on and she will always be a part of us this way.
I know I'm being selfish.
I don't know what to do :-(

OP posts:
Yika · 04/09/2016 14:37

I think your OH is unreasonable here when this is so important to you. I don't think you are being selfish. I think if you feel this way you should call your DD Dinah. Is she already born or do you have some time to discuss it more. Why can't Lisa be the middle name?

cosmicglittergirl · 04/09/2016 14:39

Why is he so set on Lisa?

user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:39

No 3 months left to go.
It's not like I've just picked the name out of a hat I've thought about it for years.
He just doesn't understand why it's so important.
He hasn't lost any family ..he doesn't get it.
He thinks I'm being hormonal and stupid .

OP posts:
user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:40

I have no idea ..he likes Lisa or Molly.

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 04/09/2016 14:41

Have you done the obvious- how would you feel if your mum died and you wanted to use the name?

user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:45

(Scary) - no I haven't.tbh he isn't very emotional like that,he thinks practically and not uses his heart(if that makes sense)

OP posts:
user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:45

What do you think of the name?
Is it too old fashioned?
I don't want her to get teased over her name

OP posts:
AppleJac · 04/09/2016 14:47

How is it pronounced?

IneedAdinosaurNickname · 04/09/2016 14:48

I think it's a lovely name!
Fwiw I don't like Lisa.

cosmicglittergirl · 04/09/2016 14:48

It's really unfortunate that he's not keen on he name, I personally think it's lovely, and much better than Lisa which is 80s tastic. Obviously you've explained your reasons and he still doesn't agree. So your options are t continue to persuade him, tell him she's being called Dinah or choose a new name you both like. My view (which isn't popular on mumsnet) is that I'm these situations the woman gets the edge, what with the whole pregnancy/birth thing, but plenty of people don't agree with that. I wish you every luck in persuading him.

Sgoinneal · 04/09/2016 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cosmicglittergirl · 04/09/2016 14:49

*in these situations

Sgoinneal · 04/09/2016 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theworstthreadspinner · 04/09/2016 14:51

oh god I hate Lisa (and I have never met one I like - with no disrespect to any MN Lisa) and Molly is nice but soooo bland. I love Dinah. But your OH is entitled to his opinion too, but I hope you decide to use Dinah!

Yika · 04/09/2016 14:52

I think Dinah is a lovely name, definitely not teasing material.

alfagirl73 · 04/09/2016 14:53

Has he given a specific reason why he doesn't want to call her after your mum? Does he just not particularly like the name or is there more to it? Has he always objected to it (I presume from the way you talk and how important it is to you, this has been discussed before now) or is this a sudden objection? You need to understand the reasoning behind his objections/preferences in order to find a way around it.

user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:53

It's prenounced DIE-NAH
It's a few months till she is here.
In a way I wish it was a boy..no discussion.
He said why don't we get a puppy and name her Dinah ????? Not really the same mark!!!

OP posts:
user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 14:56

He just hates the name ..my mum was born in the 50s and it was quite popular I believe back then.
He says it sounds (and il quote him) like a pensioners name.
Maybe when she is here he might change his mind.
I might look at her and think she doesn't suit Dinah ..the thought of her being called Dinah makes me cry ( hormones) no doubt but my mum was amazing and she has left a massive hole in my life and I just wanted my daughter to have her name.

OP posts:
GummyBunting · 04/09/2016 15:01

I don't think it's right for either party to decline a baby name without discussion and consideration, no matter what the reason. It has to be a joint decision.

Is there another name that reminds you of your mum that your OH may prefer? Maybe her middle name, or fovourite flower?

GummyBunting · 04/09/2016 15:01

*decide, not decline

user1471888857 · 04/09/2016 15:06

No she never had a middle name.
Can't think of anything like a flower.
Her fav perfume was opium ..don't think that would go down very well with him either Wink

OP posts:
ColourfullyWonderful · 04/09/2016 15:07

Dinah is beautiful. Lisa reminds me of the Simpsons and the 80s.

He is being very callous here dismissing your feelings on something that clearly means a lot.

I think I'd be putting my foot down. Dinah Molly is pretty.

ImperialBlether · 04/09/2016 15:09

Tbh, even if it's a name he doesn't love, in his position I'd give in simply because of the sentiment associated with it. I'd say he has his chance to choose if you have a second baby.

ColourfullyWonderful · 04/09/2016 15:10

When was her birthday? For example if it was May you could call her May, Lily, Emerald ... All related to the month (birthstone, flower, month name)

Lily Dinah, May Lisa etc.

Soubriquet · 04/09/2016 15:12

You should get a puppy and call it Lisa. If that's his idea he can have it

Dinah is a lovely name. Lisa is Lisa Simpson to me and it's awful. I have Molly so I can't say anything on that Grin

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