iniquity,
People in violent relationships are often very afraid to leave the violent partner for all sorts of reasons. If you can break down exactly the reasons why you are so afraid to leave him then you could get help in overcoming those fears.
re your comment:-
"In Islam women are meant to respect their husbands and they can legitimatly hit a women if she is disobedient".
No that is just plain wrong but if you still want to bring religion into it I will quote you the following:-
"The position of Islam on the kind treatment of women is very clear as mentioned in the Quran and exemplified through the life and character of the Prophet Muhammad.
“The nobler among you in the sight of God is the more righteous among you.” (Quran, 49:13)
It is narrated that the Prophet Muhammad said, “The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character. The best of you are those who are the best to their women. And in another tradition, “The best among you are those who are kindest to their wives.”
The Prophet also taught that a husband’s treatment of his wife reflects a Muslim’s good character, which in turn is a reflection of his faith. The character of the Prophet Muhammad exemplified how one should be good to his wife. He should smile, not hurt her emotionally or physically, remove anything that will harm her, treat her gently, and be patient with her. God instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability. A devout Muslim should always remember that pleasing his wife is part of faith and earns the pleasure of God, whilst dealing with her unjustly will earn God’s anger".
The only acceptable level of abuse within the relationship is NONE; that is correct, NONE. He shattered this marriage contract the first time he hit you.
Re your comment:-
"I don't want to end the marriage, I'm a year away from completing a nursing course and I need his help. I don't want to be a single mum to two and no job"
You do not need him and his so called help and your reasons for staying are not good enough. You are currently showing your children that being abused at his hands is acceptable to you, they heard this in your home even if they did not see it directly. They certainly saw him attacking you in the car. You have become conditioned to his violence of you, that is why you are writing such things. Domestic violence is never mild and is never acceptable, it is about power and control and that is what your so called H wants over you. You (and in turn your children) mean nothing to him. He just wants to act like the Big Man and dominate all of you.