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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes Battle Bus

999 replies

Halleberry · 29/05/2016 13:25

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
34
obrigada · 01/06/2016 09:41

Waves to Looking and Ma x

Pinkballetflats · 01/06/2016 09:50

Lala - are you ok?

I hope you called the police.

Fairenuff · 01/06/2016 10:24

Hi all. Just marking place on new thread. Back later.

Halleberry · 01/06/2016 12:27

Lala please let us know your ok. Hello to all the babes xx
Well I fucked up royally after 2 AF days the sunshine was just to tempting and I drank a bottle of raspberry cider. Then another,and another .... And so on til
I was pissed!!AngrySad
On a happier note I didn't do my usual
Crazy argumentative shit. I was drunk but I wasn't mean and
I ate dinner at half 8 and in bed for 9. It's still an epic fail but usually I keep going until
There
Is none left. Last night I threw
In the towel at 9 and funnily enough I don't feel rough today. Heading for a definite 3 days AT LEASt AF. I wouldn't mind enjoying a dink if that's what I done every time. Got drunk, acted normal are dinner and went to bed. But it's so Unoredictable there is no telling what the outcome will be. Yesterday was pure luck xx hope your all doing ok. Who is for an AF
Day with me
Today then????
Love and hugs, Halle xxx

OP posts:
ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/06/2016 13:29

Very note worthy point halle, it's just so unpredictable. Glad you feel ok today and I'm right beside you for an af day. Day 2 here.

lala can you check in? We're worried about you.

hope what a situation you've been put in! I do hope you find something soon to ease your mind.

one and fading how's it going? You going to join me for an af day? Bloomin freezing here (heating back on!) but at least I'm not getting the warm weather drink cravings!

pink hope you're ok, the situation with you ex sounds very stressful.

Lalaladida · 01/06/2016 14:46

Hi babes. I am fine. Long story but he has gone. Stupidly let him in last night after he made all sorts of promises. Obviously all bullshit. I am a fool.

Flowers for all you lot going through such stressful times. Puts my woes into perspective.

Feeling a bit rough today. Obviously didn't manage to be AF last night! Again, I am a fool. Freezing cold here again, and windy as hell. A day to stay cosy inside and resist temptation to drink.

Might go for a coffee with an old friend later if I feel better. What is everyone else up to?

Pinkballetflats · 01/06/2016 16:16

Glad you're ok Lala.

Don't beat yourself up - I'm almost certain I'd do the same if mine turned up with promises, tears and puppy-dog eyes.

fadingblonde1 · 01/06/2016 16:49

I'll try and join you for an af day Claret, I ended up having a large glass of red last night so back to day 1. It's freezing here which is making red wine more tempting. Dh has gone and bought a bottle so I need to remind myself that just because it's there it doesn't mean I have to drink any of it. A few years ago I did Dry January and it didn't bother me having wine in the house, I need to try to get back into that mind set.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/06/2016 18:56

All about mindset fading, and distract distract distract!! Have a long bath, read a book, knit. Anything that takes you away from the wine.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 01/06/2016 18:56

Glad you're ok lala Flowers

Halleberry · 01/06/2016 21:47

Thank god you're ok lala. Stay safe hun. Successful AF day here Grin .... Feeling positive thag I probably won't have a drink now until God knows when as I managed a sunny day with cups of tea and reading and my inlaws visiting etc and I had a great day without it. My baby girl is away to stay over night with my friend who is also a neighbour. She asked if she could have her. My husband and I made no plans and im so glad we never. He is away to play 5 asides,im running a bubble bath, and gonna jump in it and just lay there and read my book for ages. My house is so wonderfully peaceful. It's almost to strange. Hope you're all enjoying your night. Who is joining me tomorrow for an AF day? Ps. Do any of you read? I love it and was thinking as part of helping each other and giving us something to do to perhaps take our minds off alcohol, would be to start a wee book club. Asda and tesco have a really good range and really reasonable. So say for example - Claret goes first and buys a book, tells us what one it is and we all have to go buy it (not expensive ones) we have a week (or 2 whatever the majority agrees on) to read it then we come on here to discuss it, and then the next person picks one and so on and so forth. Would Any of you be interested in this idea?

Love Halle xxx

OP posts:
babyjane1 · 01/06/2016 23:18

Hi halle what type of books do you read?? Any suggestions? I'm ready for a new one and to stockpile for my holiday cxx

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 01/06/2016 23:35

Hello everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been about. I am struggling a bit. A lot really.

lala I am sorry your trip went awry, it all sounds most stressful, I'm not surprised he got to you at a low moment. The nasty bugger wants his arse kicking for making you feel scared. Well done for getting him back out, that must have been hard when you were crying out for a bit of comfort. ((((((((getoverthenastyarticlebosie))))))))))) xx

Halle 7 days was no mean achievement my dear, you can do it, and do it well! I would love a wee book club, I love a good read, (((getthepagesturningbosie))) xx

babyjane I'm so sorry I missed your birthday my darling, I am so happy that it truly was a 'happy' birthday for you. Your bairn's card! Gulp...What a treasure to keep! You are a good person, always were and always will be, look at what you did! So proud you have found your happy place, (((happybirthdaybosie))) xx

obrigada right me dear! Fab achievement getting healthier and managing a kickass weight loss as well! I love veg. I may well have to borrow your diet and hope I don't blow up the bus. I love sprouts. There. I said it... (((waspwaistedbosie))) xx

ma I am so sorry you are having such a rubbish time of it, it must have finished you to let your colleague go, you fight so tirelessly for funding, it really isn't fair and I can't imagine how that felt for you. And now that your wee family is having a hard time too you must feel like the world is kicking you when you are down. Hand holding and magic wand waving for you my friend. Always, (((twinklyglitterandburpfreezonebosie))) xx

hope Oh jeezaloo, what a pain, you must be so frustrated that they have done that to you. Something will come right for you, I feel it. And your lazy WB will feel it an' all. I am quietly chasing him round in my head with one of my crops. The antique silver topped bamboo one. It's stings like an arse. Say the word and I will post it to you. I'm not a fan of inflicting pain on mammals but would gladly spur him on a bit for you. Send him to me for a week. I'll make him weep with gratitude that he is not wed to me. (((bigbigbigspurryonbosie))) xx

muddle you know what me dear? I would love to hear all about your day, really I would. Post away, you will make my day! I remember one letter from my mam, it was all about picking up the wrong hoover bags. It found me at one of my lowest moments. Just to hear about her day, brought me such comfort and made me feel I was home, it remains my favourite letter ever. (((g'wanmedearbosie))) xx

spanna How are you my dear? Thank you, such kind words as ever, love you. The Counter Terrorist has reached backchatty gobshitey stage. "Yes I know I learned sit, stay and off. But I am choosing to stick my hormonal paw up in a one digit salute." And the holes! Holes face deep in my pee riddled grass. She is so desperate for some penis she is turning into a hairy JCB.

I am protecting her virtue with every ounce of my being but man, I'd forgotten some bitches could be like this. Little was a model of Victorian ankle flashing tartiness. She would whisk away with a little grr and baring of teeth. The Counter Terrorist would have them lining up in the street with me charging admission on me 6 foot gate. I will look out some photos my dear, she is all grown up looking now, but she is still my baby! (((((almightybearhuggybosie)))) xx

joey I hope your nephew is keeping fine now and that he got the best of care. Thank you for your well timed hand hold, and kind words. It couldn't have come at a better time. You and I sound so similar, I will beat myself up so much there is no need for anyone else to ever discipline me. I am my own harshest critic. I missed your game, I am so sorry, is it still on the go? What is it? I spotted ma on a Mornington Cresent one the other day. I am ashamed to say I don't understand Mornington Crescent..

The Counter Terrorist found me a man in the park. She's all about the men at the moment, the horror. She found a young, big forearmed, slightly sweaty workman on his way home and would not leave him alone. He was so kind, he ignored her pushy behaviour and gave me a big smile. "my Dob was just like this at her age, give her a firm hand and she'll come right". . A firm hand you say? Wibble. I feel so young in my head that I overlooked the fact he was only in his late twenties. He probably thought to himself that he should be polite to his elders.

I do like your idea about borrowing one or two of ma's soldiers. Good idea Batman. genius, in fact. (((((Holyfindmesomesoldiersbatmanbosie)))) xx

cauliflower The other love of my life is a big awd 17.2 shire cross. He belongs to my friend, she competes but he is just a steadying influence for the youngsters. She is the kindest friend, she knows I like to muck out and that I take great pleasure in laying a fine deep bed, so she leaves his loose box for me when I go round. She knows if I'm stressed that tack cleaning gives me a break from the turmoil in my head. I love the smell, it transports me to my happiest of places. (((breatheinthathorsesmellbosie))) xx

Elba Thank you for your support petal, I am writing everything down now, I don't know if I will ever use it but it gives me comfort that it is there. Each single incident looks like nowt, but a bunch of them on a page makes me realise that I am not imagining things. I called my old friend for support, he is retired now, but has seen this time and again. He advised me to stay low, act with dignity and never bite back.

He gave me support in spades, he and I are very old school, we are all about the basics, care and compassion above all else. He knows that me speaking up took a lot for me to do, and he was right. It did. Am I glad I did? It's left me questioning everything, but I am. I just need to find the strength to ride it out, ((((bigthankyoubosie)))) xx

Mouse do we need a road trip so wee can shoogle a gazillion pompoms for you at the finish line? Look at you go! You as ever, are an inspiration, it is humbling, good luck and strength my friend, ((((((shouldertoshoulderyoucandoitbosie)))) xx

pink you can fight this, he has got nowt, you hold the aces my darling, stay strong, ((((((bucketfulofwhoopassbosie))))) xx

And last but not least, claret. You sound so strong, and so full of sense. Your posts give me hope for a better tomorrow, and I so need that. One thing trumps it though. Your sharing of the T'internet Puzzle. This week it has given me an out from all the stress at work, just methodically working through to quite literally see the bigger picture. A little bit of peace at break time. Thank you, it's a wee thing to some but it has saved me this week. (((((lifeplopsintoplaceonepieceatatimebosie))))))))))) xx

Apologies for shite grammar and spelling mistakes but will post before this goes spiralling into the etherland of lost posts.

Sorry if I've missed anyone, you know it's never my intention,((((((allencompassingjustincaset'interbosie)))))) I don't know what I'd do without you all, xx

onehellofaride · 01/06/2016 23:40

Lala glad you're ok!

Claret another AF day today and hopefully one tomorrow! Out Friday so that won't be but if I can do 4 days a week AF I'm sure I will feel much better.

Let's keep ploughing on!

Halle love the book club idea!

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 01/06/2016 23:55

spanna

Butter wouldn't melt obedient face. Grin There are sheep in the field behind. The ram comes up to say hello and snorts at her through the fence.

She is all grown up. Where does the time go? It just reinforces that we all need to make the most of every day with the beings we love. It flies by too quickly. Xx

Brave Babes Battle Bus
Lalaladida · 02/06/2016 04:09

Wow, what a night. Police have just left. He has been arrested after threatening to kick my face in so badly that I wouldn't be able to speak, then when I came out from hiding in the bathroom, again, he told me he was going to kill me and my family and my dog... What a horrid night. And got the feeling the police don't believe me. Few holes in my story as was a bit drunk. Sigh

lookingforhope · 02/06/2016 08:48

Lala how awful. I hope you get a restraining order on him. Just cos you had a drink doesn't mean the police should take you less seriously, he sounds a nasty piece of work and if he treats you like this he probably has form .... Look after yourself today

lookingforhope · 02/06/2016 08:51

Also Wry great to see you back, and how gorgeous is pup???? Beautiful.

Will catch up with everyone else later as on phone on train to work with rubbish connection x

ClaretAndBlue30 · 02/06/2016 09:29

wry great post from you as always, and I'm so pleased online jigsaws are working for you - so simple but a lovely way to lose yourself for an hour or so aren't they??

I do hope things take a turn for the better for you soon.

one 4 af days would be great! Sounds like you have realistic goals and are going in the right direction to achieving them, well done. Day 3 here.

lala huge hugs and hand holding, sounds like an absolute nightmare - you poor thing. I hope you never have to see that rat again.

Pinkballetflats · 02/06/2016 09:35

Lala

The Man I Loved So Much minimised his getting hold of me and shoving me down on the floor. He sneered at me as I called the police saying that I'd tripped over my own two feet because I was drunk (I'd had 5 units/third of a bottle of martini over 3.5 hours) Fortunately I had visible injuries.

Call up Rights Of Women/Women's aid and ask for a recommendation for a local solicitor specialising in DV, make an appointment.

So sorry you're going through this.

Pinkballetflats · 02/06/2016 09:52

Wry

Sorry you're struggling at the moment.

Life is quite to crucible.

And we emerge changed and stronger.

fadingblonde1 · 02/06/2016 12:10

Sorry to read so many of you are dealing with such awful stuff :(

I managed to stay af last night by avoiding dh and his bottle of wine! I kept my glass filled up with lemonade and we'd gone for KFC earlier that evening. It sounds daft but I'm always trying to lose a few vanity pounds so save my calories for wine. I made a point of just filling up on food, including having icecream so I really couldn't justify having empty calories later. It worked but I suppose I risk ending up a weeble!

Lalaladida · 02/06/2016 13:55

Babes, I am totally fed up. Totally and utterly fed up. Police say he is denying everything (which he would because he is an utter utter bastard). Without evidence, as there was no-one else in the house except the puppy (and as advanced as she is, she can't speak human yet), there is not much they can do.

I am dealing with it as best I can by you guessed it, getting drunk drinking lots of calming herb tea.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That is all. Just tried to ring for an update and suddenly they aren't answering the phone. Hand hold needed please.

Pinkballetflats · 02/06/2016 14:09

Lala

Have you called women's aid?

They may be able to help.

Have you any evidence at all of previous form?

Text messages
Emails
Friends/neighbours
Threads on forums
Diary
Letters?

Pinkballetflats · 02/06/2016 14:10

FB conversations?

Swipe left for the next trending thread