Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

But we don't deal with it when we get drunk though do we? We escape instead.
I do believe I own some big girl pants and really need to pull them on!
Absolutely unhappiness, stress etc is one of the many excuses I give myself. But really I'm just hiding. I like you can look back at most of my relationships and they would be abusive in one context or another. I suspect it relates to incidents as a teenager. I have low self esteem. I think I may access work counselling to help me move on a bit.

Hoovering alert!!!

Lala - if you can't laugh...

I'm here and reading and not making a very good job of things. Sorry I don;t have anything worthy to post - can anyone hold my hand as I try to get back on my feet for an AF June? Thank you ladies x

Hi all just checking in. Won't even attempt to name check everyone as I'm past it tonight but lala hope your ok and getting some rest before your trip. joey hope you're ok too, you sounded really down in your post last night.

Second AF day in a row tonight, which is a first for me! In bed, teeth cleaned, so hopefully 'safe' but the cravings are unreal. Not even sure what I'm craving - it's not the taste- just a sense that's somethings missing/wrong combined with massive anxiety. But I won't enjoy it if I drink and I'm determined to prove I can manage more than the odd day AF.

Morning Everyone

Halle thank you for setting up the shiny new thread

Can someone a bit more techy than me finish off the last thread with links to this one, so that it's full and no-one gets left behind x

Lala I hope your trip is a success and that you got up ok for your flight x

Elba you go girl !!!!! Your posts have changed so much over the past 2 weeks. You are a force to be reckoned with lovely, keep going you are seeing things so much more clearly and you are beginning to see the wood from the trees. You are amazing and just remember one day at a time, and if you are tempted to have a binge later (when you've finished work) remember to 'watch the film to the end', you know you'll feel like gobshite in the morning, you are not likely to do anything constructive with your day off, you probably won't eat properly, you'll feel anxious, to name just a few. These are for you babe

Joey darling I'm so sorry you're feeling so low Mothers are a force to be reckoned with, I for one have always sought mines approval & never got it (did the same with my Dad too, but somehow his approval was more important to me) they are judgy beyond belief, don't know about yours, but mine always has this look of disapproval when it comes to my DC, like she was the perfect mother (NOT). You can only do what you can do and try to be the best mother you can be to your DD. Try and ignore the shite that comes with being a DD. Sorry not sure whether any of that is helpful Today is another day, I hope you have something good planned

Baby you are simply amazing Babe. I read your posts and they make me feel so content, happy and so much love for you (sorry can't help it) YOU have done so well in this journey and I, like you, hold my sobriety as if it's the finest bone china ornament worth millions - not a very good comparison, but I think you'll know what I mean. Mwah my friend xxx

Wry my darling lovely one. Thank you for your lovely message honey. You have done the right thing at work, You know you were right, and you can live with a clear conscience, over time it will get easier, because something else will happen and they'll all focus on that, and then the next thing etc. As Elba said, write it all down, make notes and don't let the bastards get you down! On a lighter note how is lovely pup, photos please. Are you riding this weekend? Big hugs to you and take care of you, YOU are number one, please don't forget it xxx

just seen the time got to get to work for 9 back later ladies x

Hi ladies, just marking my place. Going to a theme park with dd and little niece and nephew soon. Had brilliant day at athletics with ds yesterday. No booze since I threw up on new dress last week after disastrously misjudging free wine at a 'do' Feeling much better. You are all amazing. Have a good Bank Holiday everyone x

Morning babes, marking my place on new thread

Morning babes

rarity touched you remember about the knitting , not quite managed to pick up those needles yet but I will! Nice to have you back, hope you're ok - sounds like you've been through it.

lala I hope you are ok, take care lovely.

Waves to all other babes, happy bank holiday Monday.

Hi to all bus babes xx how are we all today? Anyone managing an AF day on this glorious day? This is me 2 days completely AF and im fine. Ive stayed in out the sun as I just can't cope when it's to warm and I kay out yesterday and had a great relaxing day. I don't even feel proud of myself all that much about how many AF days ive managed lately cause im replacing it all with valium and pain killers. Of course im not taking
Mega loads like some people do to the point they can't function. I function perfectly well I just feel nice and chilled ..... I can walk and talk
And not do any shit that embarrasses me or anyone else but I wish I could quit them xxxx

Hi all, I'm gardening which is therapeutic. Have managed not to kill oh when he had a strop that I took DD out on her bike. Basically he is fed up of living in a tip and me pandering to DD! he lives here too right? If he doesn't like it then either put up, shut up or find the Hoover

It is a lovely day though and nice to be in the garden, I love the smell this time of year.
Hope you are all having a lovely chilled bank holiday

Rarity I practically have to have an actual break/melt down in front of my hubby and frigjten him into gettin off his arse and helping me. I know he feels like it's my Job as he works and I dont ..... Ive never find the right words to justify why he should help when he works 6 days a week ...... Any ideas???? He thinks as he works 6 days a week when he is at home he deserves a break. Am
I wrong in going nuts at him? Xxx

spanna thank you, that was such a lovely post. I'd still be back where I was without everyone's lovely support, so for you too xxx

Had massive anxiety last night and almost no sleep, was in a weird half asleep half awake state. Shaky and anxious this morning too, but managed to get into work for a meeting (thanks whoever planned that on a bank holiday ) and the feeling disappeared. Realised I've got a bit of a fixation/ worry over withdrawal, but the fact I could be distracted out of it makes me think it's more anxiety than anything else, which isn't a new thing.

Dont know if I will do day 3, was always planning on drinking tonight (the only thing that got me past the last two nights was thinking about this) but at the moment I don't actually fancy it that much. So a bit of me thinks why not just carry on and see how many days I can do, but then I'm dreading the thought of another night like last night.

Apart from work, most of my day has been spent thinking about this....its obsessive and I still can't even make up my mind whether I'm going to even try not to drink tonight!!! I'm driving myself nuts, literally can hardly think of anything else!

ELBA, why not try it again for another night AF then if u don't feel like ir why force it? Like someone said before .... You never regret NOT drinking xxxx

Joey i can't find the post about your mum but if she is anything like mine .... She must be so judgmental and make you feel like shit about yourself my mother and father have disowned me and said they want nothing to do with me ever again. They even yet my husband and told him I had sex with other men .... Unbelievable! Also untrue by the way!!! Xxx

Elba great job, 2 days AF - these are life altering changes.

These tools from the Sober toolkit on the DRY thread might help.

the Andrew Johnson Quit Drinking app - it helps you get to sleep while Listening to a hypnotic message about not needing alcohol

Headspace, just a brilliant app to help you clear your mind of pressure and anxiety

L Glutamine tablets are known to help with the cravings

Change your routine so you are doing different things when wine o'clock strikes the hour. So for example when you finish a night shift, don't go home straight away. Go shopping or for a walk, meet a friend..anything so that the ritual starts to break down.

Jason Vale book Kick the Drink seems to divide opinion, but he might be worth a go. He works on changing how you think about alcohol. And all the wonderful sober blogs will help you realise you aren't on your own. MUmmy was a Secret Drinker and Soberistas.com come to mind.

Distract distract distract - box sets, baths, books, Netflix - anything to get through the cravings.

Lots and lots of self care and sober treats. Pamper and reward yourself - you deserve lots of real treats now that you are starting to take care of yourself. Good luck and

...sorry, Elba I meant help with further AF days

halle no you are not being unreasonable to expect a hand with household chores. After all you both live there!
Have you got dc? If so then your role is to look after them not let the tv raise your kids whilst you scrub the toilet!
I work 5 days a week although apparently my job is less demanding than his . I am the main bread winner.
Unfortunately there are a lot of blokes who feel entitled to sit on their lazy behinds because 'wife work' is beneath them.
Have you tried having a list of jobs he will do? Bins, gardening, manly stuff?

Also halle when is your 'day off'?

You aren't nuts for being mad at him xxx

muddle stick with it and keep posting. When the bus is moving fast it can be hard to keep up. An AF June would do me the power of good but as I can't even do an AF day, I'm not going to set myself up to fail

Thanks Halle just realised I have to spend an hour with her tomorrow will take my knitting and hope she doesn't criticise my choice of pattern/wool/technique...

How are you doing?

I started a game in Chat to take my mind off it and nobody has replied! Am feeling paranoid now (and blame my mother for low self esteem BUT at least I am still sober )

If you see the thread please post and make me feel needy better

No day 3...made it a grand total of 71 hours then caved an hour ago. Don't know why, I'm drinking beer and it tastes horrible (bad acid reflux at the moment probably from too much drinking on an empty stomach/smoking/coffee, plus a cold). Was close to going to bed and not even really craving it, so it would of been relatively easy to not drink. It's like a weird bit of me was scared of succeeding in not drinking, or maybe just scared of being sober in general. Not sure, can't put into words why I'm drinking but it's stupid as I've been trying to work out how to stop for so bloody long and this was the closest I've got. Anyway will stop soon, have my penultimate session with my lovely counsellor tomorrow morning so can't drink much more. Then on nights so tomorrow at least will be AF.

Dr thank you so much, and sorry - feel a bit like I've let you down so soon after reading your lovely post (which is irrational I know). I've heard really positive things about headspace so will definitely give that a go, and will have a look at Jason Vale and thr Andrew Johnson app too. Thank you for taking the time to post, I really do appreciate it

Hope everyone's ok....yet again another 'me, me me' post, I'm sorry. I am reading everything and rooting for all of you.