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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes Battle Bus

999 replies

Halleberry · 29/05/2016 13:25

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

OP posts:
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34
spanna41 · 22/07/2016 05:56

Wry she trusts you and knows that you are helping her, I'm sure of that. I hope you've slept my darling, you need all the energy you can muster. If this brings you longer term sobriety that can only be a good thing Smile Sounds like gorgeous pup is heading in the right direction. Please keep posting it will help you to unravel your emotions and get some support from us lovely lot. Pup knows that you love her unconditionally and that in itself means the world to her - you are her world and her yours. Flowers

spanna41 · 22/07/2016 07:59

Pink I hope that you had a good day with DC x

Obrigada good to see you Smile

Elba how you doing lovely?

Lala hope all ok with you?

Joey how's your week panning out? are you finding it easy to be AF with your mini-break in between your 6 week stints?

Summer (I think it was you that asked about whether it's possible to change drinking habits?) Yes I think it is and there has been success on the bus Venus & Nuff spring to my mind. I know that I cannot moderate, it's not in my nature - All or nothing me! So I stick to none at all Smile The only way you'll know is by trying.

Friday and was and still is sometimes a huge trigger day. Sun's out, weather's hot, bbqs are cooking and a large glass of cold white, or a freezing cold larger or cider - would be lovely I can taste it as I type BUT is it worth it? Not for me it's not Grin tempting as it is, I just can't go back there. M & S are doing some lovely fruit juices my fave Costa Rican Pineapple & Lime. Not tried to AF Mojito yet Smile

www.alcoholfree.co.uk

Have a look Babes, at the expensive end but hey if it stops me drinking who cares. Recommended on Dry thread by Glad (thanks for that Babe, if you're reading)

Anyhoooo time is running away from me, as usual. Have a good day everyone x

dementedma · 22/07/2016 08:46

wry I hope the bairn is ok. She is a lucky beastie to have such a caring owner and the love you show her will soothe her. The fact you are going through this without resorting to booze is amazing and shows your strength. Bloody well done and keep us updated. Bairn can officially join the bus along with Barrie and Spirit and the other assorted beasties. I believe there was a camel for a while but not sure where it went. A camel should be our totem - it can go without drinking for days and easily gets the hump! Grin
I am contemplating speaking to my brother about my drinking as I am more concerned about my reliance on alcohol now than I have been for a long time. Not sure if it's a good idea or if I can bear the shame....

laladidah · 22/07/2016 08:57

Oh bugger, typed the longest message ever and it got lost.

To summarise:
wry - so much love and hugs for you and your little pup. I know how much I love mine, they really do light up your life don't they, and you are such a caring owner. Fingers crossed for you both.

spanna that drink sounds lush, I am going to go and see if I can find an equivalent in waitrose (who do a rather gorgeous sparkling raspberry lemonade - going to stock up and hope that keeps me AF this evening).

elba hope your knees are ok, pics of new dress please Grin

ma, pink, claret and the rest of you. Much love to you all.

My other post was a lot longer and a lot more heartfelt, but as I said, stupid phone deleted it. Must dash now, breakfast date with the mister. Fingers crossed for us all xxx

NoAprilFool · 22/07/2016 10:24

wry, I'm sending you the hugest hugs and gentle strokes.

How bloody dare your friends say that! Even if they don't "get it", surely they must see your pain. In what way are comments like that supportive or helpful? I have a fur baby and a human baby. They share my heart. Grrrrr at your insensitive friends.

Saw your post and had to comment, now to go back and catch up

laladidah · 22/07/2016 12:56

wry I reread your post. You are doing your very best for a much loved member of the family. My friends with kids poke fun at me and tell me I have a baby substitute. She is not. She is my puppy. I am responsible for her (poor her!), and the thought of anything happening to her chills me. She was wearing a collar until I took her to the groomer's, and they discovered a massive site where her collar had rubbed. I was mortified but mostly full of guilt that I had caused her pain (she showed no signs of pain, bless her!). Needless to say, she is now in a harness, although it was a trial trying to find one so small. And it has all healed up nicely.

I hope one day I will have children, but who knows. But my puppy is very much my baby at the moment. In fact, the amount of angst and care I take over her, I feel sorry for my imaginary first child. Mr Lala is rather indifferent, slings her out for a wee in the darkness whilst I am wailing about foxes eating her, he takes her lead off and sets her free while I am fretting about whether she will come back or not... to her credit, she does, mostly to him!!

Sorry, that turned into a self indulgent rant about my dog! Got the day off so taking her for a walk in the sunshine. Going to head for waitrose for some of that lovely sparkling raspberry lemonade stuff. Could really sink a pimms or twenty but I shall resist.

Hugs to you wry.

elba where are you???

babyjane1 · 22/07/2016 12:59

Hi babes,

I've just lost an epic message pouring my heart out about completely screwing up my holiday by falling off the wagon and letting everyone down, mostly myself.

I'll pop back later and try and explain things better but I'm sober, I'm safe and I'm pissed off that all the work I've put in 8 months has been torn down by my wretched, selfish nature.

Sorry to self indulgent, glad to be back among the few people who might understand me xxx

laladidah · 22/07/2016 13:09

baby Flowers for you. Hope you are ok

Fairenuff · 22/07/2016 14:27

Baby well done for getting back on it. All that work has not been undone, it all counts, every blasted second of it xxx Flowers

fadingblonde1 · 22/07/2016 14:36

Hope your ok baby. Your work over the past eights months does not count for nothing, you'd still be drinking if it did Flowers

ClaretAndBlue30 · 22/07/2016 15:35

Just jumping in to say hugs to baby, you're a huge inspiration and a slip up will not change that - you've got back on it immediately which is great, and shows exactly what you've learnt over the past 8 months.

wry your post made shed a tear - damn right they are part of the family, any fool who can't appreciate that isn't worth their salt. Take care lovely.

aliasjoey · 22/07/2016 17:34

babyj sorry to hear you fell off the Bus, but please don't beat yourself up. It happens, and every time you get back on it gets easier, as you learn more about yourself and your triggers. Eight months is still eight months, nobody can ever take that away from you.

wry I have a child and a dog, and honestly the dog wins hands down at melting your heart... One day my DD will grow up (with any luck) and be independent. DDog will always be here and need me. So you are not wrong to feel as you do. xxx

dementedma · 22/07/2016 19:07

baby all those months are NOT wasted. You deal with so much and are an inspiration.
I read today about alcohol causing cancer....and I'm sitting here with a glass of wine. Seriously. What is it going to take?

laladidah · 22/07/2016 20:17

baby just to echo what others have said: you have done so well. I am so proud of you,

I rode my surrogate pony today, my horse is off sick.jammy git. Turns out I am shit at my only hobby. Bit depressing

Had a glass of wine to get over the doom. Have a horrible feeling this is going to not end well

dementedma · 22/07/2016 20:25

I met a Veteran today who needs my help. He cried. He said "I'm lost." I should have remained impartial. I should have referred him onto experts ( and I will). But I was unprofessional. I held his hand. I told him he was still someone, just a different someone to the soldier he was. I told him that drink wasn't the answer - I get the hypocrite of the year award- and I hugged him. I probably made things worse. If I don't have a job,how can I help him?

laladidah · 22/07/2016 20:40

ma oh my goodness. You are such a lovely person. No way have you made things worse. That was probably the best day of his life (in a non un sensitive way - you know what I mean). My nana had dementia, she didn't recognise me from week to week, unless I hugged her. Think she recognised my perfume.

Is he a UK veteran? If so, please pass on my best wishes and my thanks, from the bottom of my heart. And if he is not a UK veteran, ditto anyway!

laladidah · 22/07/2016 20:46

Sorry, I sound like a stupid idiot. Just hold his hand, and vow that you will live for what he fought for? Sorry if i sound like a prat dx

dementedma · 22/07/2016 20:59

Thank you lala. I appreciate your comments. Yes he is a UK Veteran. He did Iraq, Sierra Leone and Afghanistan. He said " I used to be someone and now I'm no-one. I never thought it would come to this"

Elba84 · 22/07/2016 23:01

baby just to echo what everyone else has said, those 8 months still very much count. They haven't been wiped out, the counter hasn't been reset, they are still something to be hugely proud of. You haven't let yourself, or anyone else, down. And you should be extremely proud for getting back on it and being sober again. Huge huge hugs, and please be gentle with yourself Flowers

Sorry not to name check everyone, have been reading and lots to say but will post tomorrow-too knackered tonight and will probably talk shit.

Just back from work and been in a foul mood all day. The utter bastards have taken away our (well hidden) staff smoking area, we have to go off site. Except I can't...I carry a bleep, I can't take it off site. And it's impossible to find someone to take it. I wouldn't mind if I could actually take my sodding breaks (that they dont pay me for), I never took the piss with it. But I work long shifts...yesterday I was there for nearly 15 hours and I got out once. This week I've worked about 7 hours unpaid and that's not unusual (missed breaks, leaving late, admin that I never get the chance to actually do etc)...the least they could do is let me have an occasional cigarette??!! Felt like walking out early on time today in protest, but doubt a one woman work to rule would do much! fucking bastards!!!!!

Sorry, bit of a rant there...clearly still in some sort of weird nicotine deficit Grin I'm off for another cigarette. Having a drink tonight, was totally inevitable really...

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 22/07/2016 23:15

Lovely spanna, I slept beside her. Well she is in her crate and I am on the sofa beside her. Her leg has been fractured to help realign her joint. She is only allowed out to pee, and this will be for the next 10 weeks. She won't see her beloved forest again this year, but if we don't give it a try she may well become severely arthritic in a relatively short period. We have a tiny window to operate to get optimum healing. And hey, it's Friday, I am off the weekend and I am not drinking. I thought I'd be desperate to hit the vin tonight, but I'm not. I am on the M&S Mojito! Grin and it ain't bad, gotta say! Give it a whirl spanna, it hits the spot! I'm going to have a shufty at that website you linked to after this whizzes into the ether, dursn't do it before in case I'm logged oot again. xx

ma thank you for nae minding the bouf on the bus. (((((bosies)))))) She is housetrained, I promise. A camel as a totem is a brilliant notion!

Lovely, lovely ma, would speaking to your brother help, do you think? Would he be feart o thinking back to those darker days, or would he just be seeing that his sister needs an ear, shoulder and bosie? ma, there's nae shame in hauding oot yer hand, it doesn't matter if the other hand is there to haul ye oot o the mire, or to stop you from drowning in worry, or is just a comfort to let you know someone is there, its a hand. And we can all be done wi a haun noo and again. You did a grand thing the day, wi yon soldier. That probably buoyed him up to face another day. You gave him yer haun, and a bosie. It wasn't unprofessional at all. Sometimes just knowing someone cares can be a starting point. As I have found out on this bus, especially today. Haud yer heid up like a thistle bonnie quine, you staun heid and shooders abeen them 'a. xx

lala, thank you petal, sometimes they are the wee light that guides you home aren't they? Coming in to a wag or having a furry feline fraze round your legs gives you a lift, when the day seems dark and unfriendly suddenly you feel warmth and love. What happened today on your surrogate hoss? I'm sure you aren't shit at your hobby at all and I bet your pup runs to you for love, not man Grin

I think you are going to be a great mam, the way you feel for your pup, saving her from the shadowy fox in the darkness, you will be a natural, for that is what mams do. P.s I am v Envy at the raspberry lemonade from my favourite shop. Grin xx

April thank you for being so understanding, she does fill my heart, she snuck her paw in and filled the space Little left behind, with boundless joy and her big smile. Paased on the gentle stroke to the hairy bairn, who was most appreciative, xx

baby now listen you here to me, you had but a blip, don't let it mar your months of success. You have been so brave of late, and an inspiration, you really have. You are amazing, you really are. Strong, is how I see you. And your aura smells of sweet hay. What's not to love? Onwards m'dear, keep looking between the ears, xx

Faire hullo! What have you been up to today? It's close again here, I really thought it would break after the storm, but nuh. Between that and hormonal central heating I look a bit like the boy in the ready brek ad. Have your storms passed? xx

Claret good evening my dear! I daren't look back the last few pages for fear of losing this post too, are you okay after the wee row the other day? You're right, it seems natural to want to relax in the garden with something cold when it's this ruddy hot and to be told 'no' would have deeved me rigid. Thank you for your kind words, means the world, xx

Fit like joey ma quine? You doing okay? How's work doing? We had a belter of a storm up here the other night, at 4am. It was bonny, but so close, so quite scary. You are so right, having them need you, it's warm fuzzy central. Grin The joy they have, there's no guile, no side, it's so innocent. I say no guile. If there's food aboot the Bairn can be fair sleekit Grin.

Work has improved a little, it's bearable, and that I can cope with. Small tatties compared to what's happening to my Bairn. xx

Elba Inde pink lady sober sweet hope beaches and obrigada, please say you're under one of the summer weight duvets on the bus! And hello summer lovely to see you on the bus! xx

It's pee time, so must post this and take her out for her 5 mins. Will pass on all bosies and kind words, she is one lucky Bairn.

Bosies and much love to all, apologies if I've missed anyone, I'm going to whirl this up into the ether to see if it flies, night night lovely travellers, xx

Elba84 · 23/07/2016 01:15

baby I've just reread your post from earlier and felt I had to correct this; 'I'm pissed off that all the work I've put in 8 months has been torn down by my wretched, selfish nature'...

You are totally amazing and selfless, you have given me (and many others) so much support and help, your virtual hugs have meant such a lot when I've felt really desperate, and you just always seem to understand and 'get it'. Honestly, you are amazing and I care for you so much.

You are the complete polar opposite to what you have written about yourself. But I also know how it feels to feel so extremely negative about yourself, and words will only go so far. I hope that some of what I've written might penetrate some of the hate that it sounds like you hold towards yourself at the moment.

Hope that (vaguely) made sense. Sorry if it didn't! Lots of love sweetheart xxxx

lookingforhope · 23/07/2016 09:57

Hello ladies. Posting from Portugal, it is sweltering here! Off to the beach later. Was just peeking in, not intending to post, but couldn't read and run without supporting my lovely friends. Ma your post made me well up with tears. You are such a lovely person and you care so much about your vets, we must find a way somehow to get you the funding to carry on. I will do some subtle research with my contacts (before they stop answering my emails once I'm jobless) not mentioning any details but just to see if there are any funding hacks .... It would be such a shame if you couldn't carry on. There's so much misery in the UK now, so many desperate people, and they will get less help now, not more. The EU had a bigger heart (and more money) than the jag and gin brigade in Whitehall currently, but something will have to give soon. I will email you next week babe.

Baby - one blip does not cancel out your massive progress, nor does it turns one of the loveliest, kindest, warmest and most supportive ladies on this thread into a selfish monster. You give us all so much help and hope, if we had to pay for counselling of the wise Baby sort you could be a millionaire my love, but you are rich in the love and good wishes we all have for you. So let us buoy you up and wrap a big bus hug around your shoulders and carry you aloft until you feel better again. And I hope your family are supporting you in real life too. (if not I may get Barrie out of his tank) WinkFlowers

Finally for now Wry, give your hairy bairn a big kiss from Aunty Hope. She was sent to you because someone doggy guardian angel knew that with her health problems she would need the most compassionate and devoted parent to see her through and you were chosen. You are making a world of difference to her. And she is welcome on Gerald of course. I've even put a bowl of water and delicious doggie snacks out, so there.

Lots of love to the rest of you, Claret, Elba, Made, Mouse, Mindy, Pink, Faire. Spanna, Joey, April, Summer and whoever else is around.

Going to rouse teen troup for breakfast and beach now. WB has actually brought 'work' on holiday and is swearing at the laptop in the next room. So if I don't get a job perhaps I too can become a full time journalist for no money and set up a website that is way more important than earning money for my family or even speaking to them on holiday Angry. Who needs to eat, right? (actually not me given how fat I look by the pool. Hope I don't get harpooned at the beach later Blush)

lookingforhope · 23/07/2016 09:59

Mimsy not Mindy !!!! bloody autocorrect

lookingforhope · 23/07/2016 10:02

And Lala xxxx I'll stop wasting posts now in case nobody can set up a new thread on time (I would but probably not from my phone) .Enjoy the weekend everyone x

laladidah · 23/07/2016 10:07

hope you just made me giggke without talk of harpooning! I am sure you are just as gorgeous as you sound! No harpoons necessary. Hope you are enjoying your holiday.

wry how is the wee one? Just gave mine an extra cuddle, and then she peed on me in excitement. Pah. She www doing so well. Sent the man shape to deal with her while I wallow in the bath.

ma your soldier soubds like a good un. Sierra Leone? As well as all the rest, that is a pretty inpressive list of combat (? Not sure if that is the right word).

elba how are you doing, lovely one?

baby hang on in there. As someone else said, you have had a blip. That's all. You have done it once, and I know you will do it again. Love to you xxx

claret, pink and everyone else, much love to you. I am contemplating hopping off the bus for a while, as you are all so strong, and I just seem to be repeatedly failing. Don't want to drag you down. I'll decide later.

Off into London for a picnic in the park with the mister. I am sure there will be pimms involved: not sure how long I can keep up this facade with him, I am going to be found out sooner rather than later Sad

Hey ho. Love to all

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