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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Brave Babes Battle Bus

999 replies

Halleberry · 29/05/2016 13:25

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

OP posts:
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Elba84 · 17/07/2016 02:48

Went to bed AF, but up again and started drinking at 1. Feel a bit haunted which sounds weird...can't find the right words to explain it but now it's the same old story of being too scared to go back to bed.

This is not what normal people do Sad

And my knees fucking hurt!!! Sad

Elba84 · 17/07/2016 02:52

I'm pathetic

Elba84 · 17/07/2016 03:20

i don't feel like I'm in the real world most of the time. but I must be as I seem to cope with it.

Imagine walking down a corridor telling yourself you are real but feeling like you're in a film. Every day. Alcohol grounds me a bit I think.

Elba84 · 17/07/2016 03:23

Sound like a complete freak,sorry ️xxx

barryfinch9 · 17/07/2016 03:28

This reply has been deleted

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Mrsmimsy · 17/07/2016 04:06

Are you ok Elba?

ClaretAndBlue30 · 17/07/2016 08:21

You don't sound like a freak elba, and you most certainly are not pathetic. Hope you are ok and got bed and managed some rest.

lala how did the wedding go?

mrs is it possible to cut down with your dh's help? Or does he want you to stay drinking at your current level?

Pinkballetflats · 17/07/2016 09:22

Elba - have you always felt like you're not really here - even before drinking?

Have you read about dissociation? It may at least give you some info and tools to work with

Xx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 17/07/2016 09:41

pink sorry I meant to say to you, what you are going through sounds truely awful, I hope you are ok. Feel free to rant on here, it's a great place to vent any frustrations. Take care xx

laladidah · 17/07/2016 13:00

claret on venus's wedding option, I obviously went for option 2. I have not felt this rough for ages. Who knows what I did or said. I am a complete fool and am spending my day in bed. I deserve to feel this bad, completely brought it on myself Angry
elba how are you feeling today?

pink I hope you are as ok as you can be

Everyone else, hope you are having good days.

Fairenuff · 17/07/2016 13:38

lala I was thinking about the fact that alcohol is so poisonous this morning. I mean, if you woke up feeling that bad without drinking the night before, you would think you were really ill wouldn't you. But because you've had a skinful you just cope with it as best you can.

It's a funny old substance and I'm now finding that the less I drink, the less I want to drink. Far from finding it difficult, I am really loving the sober life. It's so much more refreshing and I still love waking up in the morning with no regrets. I wonder if that novelty will ever wear off Grin

ma thanks for letting us know about Isinde, I hope she returns to the bus at some point but completely understand that she might just want a break.

Mouse lovely to hear from you again. Will you be around the start up the new thread? Can't believe how big Nemo is now! Shock

ClaretAndBlue30 · 17/07/2016 14:00

lala if it's any consolation I don't think I've ever gone for anything other than option 2 at a wedding....(bar my own fortunately as I refused to drink - I did not want to be that bride Blush)

Hope you are ok, look after yourself today, it really is an awful feeling. faire you are so right, a hangover is every bit as bad as an illness just add some guilt and anxiety on top. Makes you wonder why we do it doesn't it.

Off to a BBQ this afternoon...debating 'just having one' but we all know that's crap right??

madein1995 · 17/07/2016 14:00

elba hope you'r ok and not feeling too bad.
Oh bless you la, hangovers are the absolute pits. Watch a bit of netflix and chill out, have a little nap if you can.

I'm doing well at the one night drinking a week thing, wanted a few more this week (working with someone who always critisises me and makes me nervous) but I managed not to. She's gone back to another room now anyway so I feel more relaxed.

I'm applying for a new job in a women's refuge near me, it'd be a lot closer than my current job, it's what I'm interested in and jobs like this are rare as hen's teeth normally. I'm stuck on one of the questions thugh and hope tou ladies can help. The question is to talk (using the STAR model) of a time I listened to others opinions and considered what they were saying, I have 2 possible answers. One I feel is playing it safe and just a eneric example of being given a task to do, someone thought it be better we did it a different way, I listened and tried it out and it worked and we stuck with it. Another is more risky I feel as might not be what they're looking for, but if it is it'd be an individual response and it'd be eaither really good or really bad - talk about how a service user wanted to leave the shelter, how I sat down and talked without judgement, and managed to allay her fears/change her mind etc. Part of me says it'd be a good answer but then the question is all about listening to others so if I go on about listening and respecting but reassuring and persuading to stay, could it actually be a demonstration of BAD listening skills? I just don't know Grin and I'm agonising over it because I want the job so very badly, does anyone have any advice? Only other person in house to ask is dog and she's not too helpful!

laladidah · 17/07/2016 15:27

made, I am not much help I am afraid, hopefully someone more useful will be able to advise. I would say stick with the safe option, but as I said, I am not the best to help! Fingers crossed for you though.

faire you are completely right as always, I can't believe I did this to myself. I feel horrible still, shaky, sweaty and anxious. Had to take a diazepam earlier and tempted to take another one. Sposed to be seeing DP later but I seriously do not feel up to it... And if I am honest, I usually drink when I see him, and obviously that is not an option now. What if sober me is a complete dullard?

How's everyone else?

Elba84 · 17/07/2016 15:56

lala and faire yes it's such a poison really isn't it. We wouldn't think twice about cutting out certain foods if they made us feel like this.

lala why not just say you're not feeling up to it and treat yourself to a duvet day and an early night? Did you at least enjoy the wedding? Hope you start to feel better soon.

Not feeling great either. Last night was stupid but didn't feel like any other way to manage at the time. I'm an idiot. Sorry for more drunk posts.

Bloody knees are now a very impressive colour, don't think 12 hours at work helped. New wedding dilemma is now can I wear a short dress with bashed up knees?! Although hopefully they will look better by then.

pink yes I've read about dissociation and some of it fits, especially derealisation. Used to think it was a symptom of anxiety, but actually thinking it might be more of a cause. I hope you are ok today ️xxx

mrs hope you're ok. Is you're dh supportive of you trying to cut down?

made sorry not much help either, though I would be wary of going along the lines of 'trying to change her mind'.

claret hope you have a lovley afternoon.

Just ordered a pizza...going to eat it in bed while icing my knees and feeling sorry for myself Grin

laladidah · 17/07/2016 16:02

elba I did enjoy it, the bits of it that I remember... I hope to god I didn't do anything ridiculous, but I probably did Sad I also have a huge bruise on my elbow, no recollection of that happening, and my belongings were strewn all over the hallway when I went down this morning, as well as my heels left outside the front door. Utterly stupid of me.

Feel very sorry for myself and angry. Why oh why oh why can't I just be normal. I blame the fact that I had nearly a bottle of wine whilst getting ready... Blush

Hope your knees get better soon. I am trying to hold off opening a bottle of wine to try and get rid of feeling this shit, but how dangerous is it to actually do that if I had a diazepam at about 11am? Cannot believe I am seriously considering this idea.

Elba84 · 17/07/2016 16:10

lala I really, really wouldn't risk it. Maybe have a bath and just get into bed and try and have a sleep?

cashmerecardigans · 17/07/2016 19:08

Hi, long time lurker here, just dropped in to suggest option 1 to made. Whilst the second example is the more relevant in terms of work context, it's not a great example for that question, whereas the first example is. Just make sure you highlight what you did (just interviewed someone who kept saying we and was never clear about their contribution!). Maybe the second example could come in elsewhere or maybe used at interview if there is a more relevant question?
Hope that helps.

venusandmars · 17/07/2016 20:28

made I think both are great examples. Answer 2 would be good - with some modification.... so you listened to your service user, heard what they were saying and considered what they were fearful about. Because you listened and heard her concerns you were able to respond, provide specific reassurance and allay her fears, and as a consequence she stayed in the shelter, thereby reducing her risk and also making her feel more secure within the shelter....

Elba84 · 17/07/2016 21:07

Successful AF night tonight so that's four this week, which fits in with trying to have more AF than drinking nights (good). However in those three nights I've clocked up 46 units, so on average more than the recommended weekly limit per drinking night (not so good). The less often I drink the more I seem to approach drinking as a self destruct mission. No idea what the answer to that is (apart from the obvious)

Oh well, going to watch a film in bed and hope for a proper sleep. Night all xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 17/07/2016 22:32

Well done elba racking up those af days! Lowering units on the other days could be your next goal? Doing great though.

BBQ was fine today if not a little hot (I'm not a sun worshipper!) and I didn't drink (bar a pathetically weak sip of pimms). so overall a success.

In bed now and not tired - only when I'm not drinking do I realise how sleepy booze makes me. Doesn't help that it's like the Sahara in here tonight....whinge whinge whinge.

Good night babes.

dementedma · 18/07/2016 09:09

Morning all. So lovely to wake up in London to sunny skies and warmth, instead of Scottish rain. And not to have to go to work!!!!
Off to stroll along the canal to Little Venice then a boat trip to Camden for a rummage about...

ClaretAndBlue30 · 18/07/2016 10:12

Have a great day ma!!

aliasjoey · 18/07/2016 20:28

ma hope you and your DS enjoy your trip to London!

Well I had my wine at the weekend, and I can honestly say it was an anti-climax. I woke up in the middle of the night dry and thirsty with a headache.

The night before was just a repetition of all my usual drinking habits. I stayed up too late, got a midnight snack, didn't clean my teeth... Blush yuck yuck yuck

I've now started my next six weeks, and feel pretty good about it. Actually I really don't want to drink. The only nice part was those two hours between 10 PM and midnight when all my cares and worries disappeared. I was watching comedies on the BBC iPlayer, and nothing else mattered.

Maybe I really need to work on finding a way of switching off somehow. I assume that I'm relaxed, because I'm lazy and just sit around reading or or surfing mumsnet, but my brain is always working away in the background.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 18/07/2016 21:18

Well done joey it sounds like you've cracked it! 6 week chunks sound like they work for you.

I'm feeling much healthier this monday than last monday and have had significantly less units this week. I've enjoyed my af days and have had some lovely meals out in the garden with a lime and soda. I don't need alcohol, i really truly don't.

Hope everyone is ok this evening, its sweltering hot down south and set to get hotter!