Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

Well done joey

Day 1 today, it feels like it's day 3 as I only had one unit yesterday and one on Sunday but I know that's cheating!

Totally melting here! And drinking...
There are two choices;
1: keep drinking past my three pints of cider, I'm still kind of enjoying it but it will get to compulsion stage soon I think Then spend tomorrow too anxious and hungover to do anything, and waste my day off in the sun.
2: I'm tired enough to go to bed, I'm off tomorrow and I have a choice of beaches I could go to, and a book I'm really into...

It would be obvious to most normal people wouldn't it?!

(But still drinking...)

Quick check in on the way to work.

Sorry I've been so absent. Work and home have both been hectic and I've been falling into bed early every night. Still here, still sober, just!

Love to you all, a woo hoo for joey and extra hugs for pink.
ma, we had a beautiful day in Edinburgh yesterday but today it's back to normal - you enjoy the sunshine!

Morning all.

Horribly anxious this morning. Off to a theme park and water park with the kids.

Hope everyone has a good day

Morning Isinde, great to see you back on the thread, have been MIA myself but have been reading x

isinde good to see you Babe, how's things with you?

Hi all,

pink hope you're ok, water park sounds like a great idea when it's this hot!

Trying to be AF tonight, have a long day at work tomorrow but the sunshine is making want a drink. Drank far too much last night as per usual, so much of today was wasted. Feeling very sad at how much time I've wasted/am wasting either drinking or recovering. Staying up drinking on my own until 3am is really not normal is it?!

Hope everyone's ok and enjoying the weather. lala how are you doing?

Failed...bugger.

Hi elba, it's hard isn't it - the weather really sets my cravings off too. Had a full on row with dh yesterday as he wasn't letting me have wine (this is what we'd decided we'd do) but I kept on at him until he let me. Not cool.

When's the wedding elba?

Hey claret yeah the weather doesn't help does it? Think it's assocoations with lovely afternoons in pub gardens, except it's just me sat on my own in my boiling hot room...

I can see that DH telling you not to drink would be difficult...I think part the reason I don't tell people is that I couldn't cope with someone telling me not to drink. It's my (and your) decision at the end of the day. Well done for being so honest with him, it's very brave and sounds like he is on side even if he doesn't quite understand if (I don't think most people understand unless they have experienced it!).

Wedding is next Saturday, but fly out on the Thursday. Just bought yet another bloody dress knees still look too bashed up for the other one!

Hope everyone else ok ️xxx

Hi all, been lurking a while & have gained huge inspiration from people on here. Been aware for a few years that I drink too much & that I have a psychological dependence. The description of wine witch really resonates, as does the daily internal battle as to whether to stop & buy wine. Don't drink every day, but often 5 days a week. Used to be half bottle wine but creeping up to 3/4, sometimes a beer too. I also noted that I take the opportunity to drink if I'm home alone so that I don't feel guilty that someone (DH) is watching me.....However after 3 weeks without a night off & rubbish sleep I bit the bullet & am 16 days dry. But wine witch keeps nagging me. Does anyone feel it's possible to genuinely change habits & have a couple of glasses of wine a couple of times a week - or if you are prone to over drinking do I just have to stop??
Hats off to everyone on here for the amazing achievements & for working so hard to kick the witch into touch.

Just checking in. On train back to Edinburgh.london was lovely weatherwise but not promising work wise....
Hi to all. big hug to indie. Hi summer

Hi summer are you me?!? I face the same battles and ask the same questions. I guess, as hard as it is, only you can decide. I flit between drinking and not drinking on a regular basis so am in no position to offer advice on that one!

elba I sort of wish I'd not mentioned anything to dh, it's not the first time and now he's bloody watching me all the time. I will see an counseller though if they refer me, I really want to sort my head out and I'm hoping they'll lead to a better relationship with alcohol.

Your poor knees! At least you have a dress to wear if they don't heal in time.

Hi all, just checking in.
Day 26 here.

Diet Coke is still no substitute for wine but hey ho.

Well done lady. Am impressed.
I wonder if dry August is something which might motivate me. I desperately need to lose weight..as well as everything else

I don't know if what I'm about to say is appropriate for the thread or not. I don't set out to scare anyone because I know with my own battle with alcohol that that often doesn't make much of a difference anyway but if there's a chance that a wasted life just might make a difference, I'll post it.

I lurk on the thread every day but don't post but am so familiar with so many posters here and cheering you all on whether you're managing a day, months or years AF.

Anyway, I found out today that a young woman I know has died recently of alcohol -related liver disease. She was 24. That's not a typo - she was 24 and her mother nursed her through palliative care in the last few months as there was nothing left for medical intervention to do.

Don't get me wrong, she was a chronic alcoholic, not just someone 'struggling' with the drink. She was drinking 200+ units per week but only for about 8 years. I don't think I'm alone in drinking far less than that weekly but over a much longer period of time.

I keep telling myself that I've still got time to sort it out. I have no doubt my liver function tests would be abnormal but still tell myself I've got time before I do irreversible damage. 'C' dying has made me think I might not have. I think we all think we have more time to sort things out.

I've learned that women metabolise alcohol differently to men and excess alcohol leads to liver damage more rapidly than in men.

'C' was attractive, funny and kind. She had a lot of problems (that's obvious) and I think she intended to drink herself to death but that happened far more rapidly than I think anyone anticipated.

As I said, I'm really not posting to scare but I know I keep thinking I've got more time to sort it out but we can't know at what point the liver says 'enough' and when that happens, medical intervention is powerless unless it's a transplant.

Sorry if I've been really inappropriate. I just thought that 'C' story might make a difference to someone. And it might not but I think she'd want me to tell it.

Not inappropriate at all and I'm glad you told C's story.
Your point that we all think we have time to sort it out has hit home.
Thank you.

Compton Thank you for telling us 'C's story, 24 is so young It does make you think, doesn't it. Why not delurk and join our lovely bus? Everyone is welcome x

Lady 26 Days is awesome You must be feeling the benefits

Welcome Summer good going 16 Days is fabulous, keep going Do you feel better for it?

Ma glad you had a good time in London, sorry to hear it's not good on the work front

Claret I also hate being told what to do, even if it is someone that I love The battle with WW does get easier and there's bigger gaps between the drinking. Slowly slowly catchy wormy and then PING it all falls into place You are doing so well Claret this is a journey and you're well on your way

Last day of term tomorrow I've managed to cut down some hours so that I can spend some time with DDs. Weekends will still be manically busy workwise but hey Life AF has it's moments and it's been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster but I feel like I've turned a corner in that I don't think about booze every day, I feel less erratic moodwise apart from very recent moon-madness when I find it difficult to sleep I'm making better choices with what I eat, in the early days I just ate and ate, sweet stuff to replace booze but over time the urge for sugar goes. Anyway I'm rambling. Remember - watch the film to the end and you will never regret not drinking

Baby if you're reading - huge hugs to you lovely, I hope you're leaning on your family for support. Remember the good times that you had and cherish them

Isinde good to see you honey. Big hugs to you x

I'm typing in the dark as my bedroom window's open and I don't want bugs to fly in, before I lose this I'm going to post it.

Night all and keep kicking that nasty witch in her saggy tits. Love to all x

Take 3,0000000000000000and 1...

It says I'm logged in....

Am I?

Who knows...

Take 3,0000000000000000and 1...

It says I'm logged in....

Am I?

Who knows...

That first one didn't look like it sent at all!!!

I have been reading my dears, but daren't go looking back to namecheck everyone just in case I disappear again.

Its been a heartbreaking few weeks. My bairn had major surgery and will need surgery on her other leg in the next few weeks. Despite thorough researching of all parental health scores etc, her joints have not formed properly. I did everything properly, fed her the correct diet, exercised within guidelines and never played ball. On the plus side, I haven't touched a drop as I have been beside myself with worry and despair.

I feel sick knowing she may have been in pain, but has never shown it. I noticed a tiny intermittent limp. That's all. I could weep with heartsairness for her. She's just a baby. My baby. After Little and Gentle I tried so hard to spare myself and another beastie further pain.

I am beside myself wondering if I am doing the right thing for her. What if I cause her more pain for nothing? I am programmed to blot. If I started drinking I just wouldn't stop. I am desperate to numb everything but I can't. She needs me to care for her. I feel like my head and my heart are imploding and I'm scared that I'm going to go under. I don't know what to do. I'm crying as I type.

Some of my friends haven't been supportive, saying there are people going through worse with children. I know and accept this, of course I do. But not having any children, she is the centre of my little world. I heap all my love on her, because if I didn't I wouldn't have that outlet in my life. My family do not show love like that, although I know they do love me in their own way. She brings me so much joy, she is my reason to get up in the morning, her companionship means the world to me.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but I need to get this out. I have been logged out repeatedly on batphone and pc, I've lost so many posts as the shittyspinnywheel whirls endlessly.

Hello and bosies to you all, I've been with you all the time, just quietly in the back of the bus.

I hope this posts, please let it. xx

Oh Wry my darling darling love you poor poor lovely one I am so very sorry that you're going through all of this. You know now what is wrong, please try not to beat yourself up with the 'what ifs' 'why didn't I see' 'was she in pain'.... you are taking action and you are doing everything in your power to make her better x
Friends are funny things, none of my besties have DC and they have their beloved pets, whom they look at as their offspring, I totally 'get that'. She is the love of your life, as were your other 2 lovely pups. Time will tell. You are so so brave and not drinking has made you stronger and clear headed. Please don't pick up the drink, we both know it's not worth the anxiety and stress. Focus on your baby. Ignore your friends they just don't understand bastards Keep posting, keep loving, just keep on keeping on. Please make sure you eat and look after yourself. Please give her a hug from me. Stay in auto-pilot - you will get through this xxx

spanna I'm sorry for the delay in replying, was logged out again (what is going on with that?!) You have soothed my soul before I head for bed. ((((((((((gratefulforsuchawelltimedhugbosie)))))))))))))))

Thank you my dear, sweet friend for understanding everything so perfectly. I know some folk wince at the thought of folk calling pets their bairns. But she is. My bairn, my pal, my confidante all rolled into one.

This may be the beginning of a longer term of sobriety. I just keep thinking if I'm not sober could I hurt her by stumbling about, or miss a whimper? I am admittedly selfish when I drink, and I am fighting so hard not to be. For her sake.

The vet she was referred to is hopeful that her surgery went well but her poor little confused face is almost too much to bear. It has to work, it just must. Thank you for voicing that some of my friends are bastards they bloody well are.

I will pass on your hug immediately. She does love a hug. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I can sleep a bit easier now. Nighty night, spanna, wishing you the sweetest of dreams, xxx

P.s There may or may not be a wee black lab under the duvet on the back seat of the bus for a little while. Just in case any babe is allergic or owt. xx