Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

And lady you are doing so so well, 2 weeks is incredible. What are your top tips? I need all the help I can get!

Thanks ma, I think you're right, I do remember your brothers situation - I clearly can't do this alone. Even after yesterday's events I'm already think 'oh but I can't not drink at such and such' 'oh perhaps I'll just have a couple and I'll be ok' - so so frustrating that the addiction is more powerful than my brain if you get what I mean.

The addiction is more powerful than the brain sums it up perfectly. There used to be a guy on here called MIFLAW and he was a very straight talker. He said trying to control addiction with willpower alone is about as successful as trying to control diarrhoea with will power alone. Maybe I need to follow your example and get help too! Because I don't get drunk socially, or binge drink, or black out, I tell myself I don't have a problem. The fact I drink every single night is fine, no?

Big hugs claret, try not to beat yourself up too much (easier said than done I know, I can so relate, including getting turning up drunk at a baby shower).

I agree GP is a good starting point. Also many drugs and alcohol teams accept self referrals...don't know what area your in but you can Google it. Also worth looking at a charity called addaction: they have a branch near me but Ive never plucked up the courage to go

lady thank you lovely, and sorry that you've had the experiences you've had. You are doing amazingly...is this day 15?? You seem to of just made up your mind and stuck to it!

Hope everyone has a good day. Off to bed in a minute after I've finished my post night shift wine

I'm very stubborn and I've committed to not drinking for now. I was speaking with dh last night and said that I'm now feeling that my problem is a lack of control rather than anything else. At the moment I'm okayish with not drinking, with a few wobbles every few days and a sullen feeling hanging around most of the time. My problem will come when I do start back up again, I'll start off in control but then it'll start to creep back up, there will always be a reason to drink to excess, I've just got to be strong willed enough to deal with it. I'm a bit of a control freak about a lot of things, I need to bring my drinking out of the 'things that I do regardless of cost as they make me feel good' pile and put it into the 'things I control' pile.

I would disagree with what MIFLAW said in a way, whilst a person can't stop diarrhoea with willpower alone, they can prevent it recurring by not eating until the infection has passed. (I have ibs hehe). I think we all need help sometimes, but we do need to have the will in place in order to succeed.

I think we are all different in our drinking patterns etc, and there is no one size fits all. But addiction, in any form, is basically a hugely complex and truly evil illness (always psychologically and often physically...even if we are not at the stage of getting medically dangerous withdrawal symptoms).

I can objectify it, and I have seen some of the most horrific effects of alcohol first hand (look up ruptured oesophageal varices if you want a scare, amongst various other things), I'm generally a control freak, perfectionist, strong willed about most things...yet I'm still essentially drinking myself to death (sooner or later- I could be lucky but with the amount I'm drinking I'm knowingly taking huge risks).

We are all in the same boat (or bus) ultimately, regardless of how much, how often or why we drink. It's a bloody powerful force. I agree that will is definitely needed to change, but for many of us I think it's unlikely to be enough. Despite our absolute best intentions.

I've been writing this on no sleep and can't actually remember what my point was so Im going to give up now. Sorry if it makes no sense at all!!!

My last bit of rambling...look up the cycle of change model. By definition to be posting here we are all at least at the 'contemplation' stage, which can only be a good thing. Many of you are further on.

Thanks babes, it's so reassuring having this bus and you ladies to help in times of need. I feel like shit. Had to send an apology to the host of the shower yesterday, just cringe.

I'll look into the things you advised elba, thank you.

I think will power is needed and necessary to get anywhere with this addiction but, for many extra help would be required to actually hit it on the head. I've been fighting this for almost 20yrs and have not won the battle alone so nows the time to get more help. I did go to the Drs about it years ago but he was dismissive and so utterly unhelpful it's put me off.

Claret you may be on to something there. I know that there are some medicines that you just cannot drink on or you will be very ill. Not sure what criteria you have to meet for the gp to prescribe but worth finding out.

That would take away any 'free will' about drinking and let you crack on with your AF days which are going really well for you. I think the aim is that, after a long break, you can continue to turn down alcohol without the need for medication.

All avenues are worth exploring because, as Elba says, everyone is different. This bus is great place to check in and get support for whatever you decide to do.

Spanna's strategy of playing the film through to the end is a powerful incentive too. Can you write down how you feel right now for 'future you' to refer to next time you think you can just have one or two drinks?

Get back on it today. It's only one out of those 16 days; you're still with me for the rest, yes?

Sorry you're feeling so down claret I drank as well last night. Just the usual staying in on a saturday night feeling bored. It's stupid because I'm still bored when I have a drink and then I eat rubbish as well. I feel like I have a sort of self sabotage going on.

I decided not to take the job. After spending days pulling myself around getting over the anxiety of trying something new they finally confirmed it was not part time as advertise but full time, five days a week. After thinking long and hard about it I realised it was just not doable. I don't want to out myself but the hours would have meant getting home at nearly midnight, getting up to take the dds to school next day, then waiting 7 hours to go to work again. I would have done those hours part time but full time I felt like I'd barely be able to see the dds, keep up with whats going on at school, I couldn't get paid childcare for all of the hours I need, my dm said she'd do it but I just thought it was far too much for her five days a week. I'm sort of disappointed yet also relieved.

fading it sounds like you have made the right decision. Family is more important than work... Well done you.

claret I have a work colleague's wedding next weekend, dreading it. I just know I am going to let myself down... Hope you are ok, lovely.

faire and elba - you are so wise. ma hope you are ok?

Off out now on this horrible grey day, feel like shit

Love to the rest of you x

Faire I'm with you! starting afresh today. I think you are right about taking away the option to drink - I sailed through not drinking during pregnancy so I obviously can do it.

fading so true - I often drink when bored but I'm still bored. It's just an excuse. Sounds like you definitely made the right choice re the job - your family comes first.

lala the way I feel today I wouldn't wish on anyone...if you can do you think you could not drink at the wedding? You'd have so much more fun. If only I could wind back the clock and take my own advice.

Should I be worried that my back is so painful today? I've had this before after heavy drinking, it's not a great sign is it?

Hi all, checking in. I've been away with work for 3 weeks then away with ds sports events this weekend bit staying with friends. Drink was involved at all stages and so after my few weeks of dieting and abstinence am back at square one again. This is my last full week in work before contract ends then .... Eek???? . Feeling demotivated and scared. Going away on 20th for 10 days but even that is a mixed blessing. I am grateful I can afford to go on holiday (this year at least) but family holidays are often fraught as frankly WB finds it hard to be civil to me for 10 days in a row and I have a tween and a teen . Need to do a job application today but didn't even get an interview for the last 2 I applied for ... And since Brexit I wake each day with a feeling of dread ... My sector will be hammered and I've already heard of contemporaries getting contracts terminated. I set up a business last year to take this big contract on, and have a small one starting next month and a couple of meetings with agencies for freelance work but as I am the only breadwinner I find it nerve racking not having a constant income. Also I get depressed being at home, am happier at work where I feel busy and valued, and liked (I do not feel liked by WB who constantly snaps at me). So ... Harder not to have a drink to quell the panic but know it doesn't help. Sorry for miserable post, I can see others on here really struggling and wish I could be upbeat and supportive, but not sure I have it in me at the moment. Hugs to Elba, Claret and Ma who are struggling and friendly waves to Lala, Faire, Blonde, Wry, Spanna and anyone else who is around. Day 1 tomorrow. Hoping I can resist having a wine on the train home (another bad habit)

Hey hope good to see you. Glad the work event went well and hope WB isnt a total steps when you get back. I share your worries for the future. Dreading going into work tomorrow.

Steps???that should say arse

Oh Noooo, what's up at work now Ma? Still waiting on funding?.

Room for another? I would love to join in if I may? Just recently given up. 4th day in.

Just thought I'd mention what I'm using incase it is of use to anyone struggling
Hypnosis app.
For iPhone
http://www.withandrewjohnson.com/products/stop-drinking-mp3#.V4M88R4WnMM_
Or MP3 version
http://www.withandrewjohnson.com/products/stop-drinking-mp3#.V4M-mfR4WnMM__

I'm also reading Jason Vale book
Kick the Drink. . .Easily!_ which has great reviews and success stories.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1845903900/ref=cmm_swrrsmsccapi_67ZGxb5FS0PR3

Morning babes, welcome prize.

ma hope work goes ok today; thinking of you.

looking ending a job is always hard, the structure and routine it provides is often something many are unaware of until they are out of work. Thinking of you, hope you feel a little better today.

So I'm going to the doctors today, my back is no better (maybe actually worse) than yesterday so it's giving me a bit of a scare. Had a good nights sleep but still riddled with anxiety this morning.

Good luck at the docs Claret.

Welcome to the bus Prize and well done on 4 days. It might help you to go back to the very first thread and follow JWN's early days of sobriety. Loads of great advice and support there

Thanks Claret, and good luck at the doctors. Prize welcome. I have a friend who was a huge problem drinker (think waking up in a different city / street / stranger's house after nights out) and she hadn't had a drink for over 2 years since reading Jason Vale, so hope it works for you. Well it is monsoon weather today and my train had been cancelled. Sitting at the station, soaked wet through and freezing! Off to get coffee....

Crawling back on to the bus. Tripped up on Friday and so been drinking Fri and sat night and all day yesterday :-( claret my drinking is going up. I am very interested what goyr doc says as have been wondering about going myself. Just worried about it being on my record really.

Thanks to everyone for the welcomes.

Fairie I found the thread about JWN...it's a great read and very inspiring. Thank you for the suggestion.
looking I hope the book works as well for me as it did for your friend. What an amazing success!
mimsy every day is a new start.

hope lovely to see you, but sorry that you have so much to cope with. Sounds like you have so much stress and pressure from so many angles. Hope you're warming up a bit with the coffee xxx

claret good luck with the doctors. I really admire your strength and honesty with all this; you are so self aware, and I think it's a huge step to realise you need some help and actually be brave enough to ask for it.

sweet you've disappeared again! hope you're ok ️xxx

baby how are you doing? Thinking of you ️xxx

I'm off to bed, back to work tonight and of course have been dribking this morning. But tomorrow will be day 1...writing this mainly for accountability as I keep making excuses in my head. It will be hard as I have both morning and night to navigate AF, nights always mess with my mood, and I have raging PMT currently But it has to be, I'm freaking myself out with health worries etc and need to try and do another AF stretch just to prove to myself its possible.

Anyway, goodnight all xxx