Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

Checking in, I've not been on in a while. I avoided mumsnet in the aftermath of the referendum, everything has just felt triggery and I've been drinking too much. Only had two af days this week and I've drank too much when I have had wine.

I'm feeling totally stressed out as I seem to have somehow landed a job. I just send my cv off expecting to hear nothing, had telephone interview which I thought was the first stage in a process and they are telling me I have the job. It's all up in the air at this stage, and I'm sort of hoping it will fall through, but then sort of hoping it won't...I know my problem is I have no confidence in myself so I don't think I can do it, I feel intimidated by the whole thing, and it's come at the wrong time. They are hoping I can start first week of the summer holidays which means I'll have no time off with my dds :(

fading everyone feels nervous about starting a new job/going into a new environment/situation. Just bite the bullet and do it. Some of the best friends I have made have been through work colleagues.

It's ok to feel afraid, it means you are about to do something very brave.

ma here is my baby picture

spanna 460 days is amazing! What did/ do you tell people when you stopped if you don't mind me asking? My pride is getting in the way of being fully honest apart from here, and having to justify not drinking is putting me off...totally stupid really.

Yeah moderation will never happen for me, I know that, it will never be just a glass of wine. Anything less than a bottle is pointless. I'm going to try again...I still can't think about forever, but maybe I need to try and at least not be actively planning the next drink as a reward for being AF.

baby how are you feeling today? I admire your strength so much in staying sober through everything youre going through. Sorry you have been feeling so low, I know this week will be very hard for you. Thinking of you

fading congratulations on the job! I can imagine its daunting but hopefully it will help you build you're confidence a bit.

lala how was dinner last night?

made thank you for your posts lovely, sounds like you've come on a long way since you were last on here.

I feel a lot better after learning yesterday (attend the course every other wednesday and Saturday) that no one on my course passed the first exam, and that although I scored the worst, it wasn't surprising considering my lack of revision - one lad who revised loads only ot 8 out of 19 poor bloke. We do get taught but I think I need to revise each niht to make sure it sinks in, I'm not daft but not done exams in 3 years so it's getting back into it - am planning a minimum of 1 hours revision a night, more when its a night where im not busy (busy at course or finishing late at work). Recruitment for my force will open in November, s if I pass my course I could be applying in the not too distant future My force have done away with the strength test so the fitness test consists of doing a bleep test - which is 3 minutes running. Im fat and unfit but even I think I could manage that. You need to have a bmi of 30 or less to join but the medicals wouldnt be until next february/march time so I have time to lose weight and get down from a bmi of 42 - I've lost half a stone already although I cant get a good reading on my own scales so am having to use the gym's

My right knee is playing up - think its cartilage perhaps, that or I need further physio to fully recover from my dislocation last year (physio werent very sympathetic or helpful in uni town but know from experience ones in home town are very good) so dad is arranging a doctors appointment for me in the morning for hopefully next thursday (day off) - dads ringing as I have work 8.30-5.30 and drs dont open for appointments until 9.

I hope everyone else is doing ok

Taking a break from Ds room.how can such a tiny room hold so much stuff?? And so much dust?
Already done one run to the dump with recycling stuff and have bags ready for charity shop. Visited dad and he seems quite chipper today, which is good.

Elba it depended who it was as to what I said cos of my blowout, it was easy to say, to my nearest and dearest, that I was giving myself a 100 Day AF challenge, just to see if I can do it.
This is merely a suggestion...just try a 7 Day personal challenge. When asked or if you want to volunteer it, just say you want to knock it on the for a week to give my body a break, to see if I can do it (that kind of thing) Set a day and just try. You got to 4 Days when u thought u could never do even a day it's just one week of your life and you will feel so different on so many levels. Please don't think of it as forever, that is far too scary. Just 7 Days. For when you're not at work, think of stuff you really want to do. Put the money you don't spend into a jar, spend it on a treat just for you x

Ma sounds like you've made loads of progress, oh yes 'the dust' where does it all come from? Glad your Dad was good today, it's so hard when you're not sure what he's going to be like on each visit.
My client today started shouting that I'd locked him in like a prisoner in his own home. He'd lost the keys and I had to let myself in thru patio door I've got to go back at 6

ma I think my room could rival any teenagers at the moment desperately need a big clear out.

spanna ok, going to try the 7 days. Need to not drink tonight anyway, and going to stay with my lovely, now extremely pregnant with twins, friend on Tuesday so I doubt there will be much in the way of crazy drinking So I guess today is as good a starting point as any. Actually the whole sneaking wine in, empties out and drinking when they are in bed is hard work anyway, not to mention pretending not to be hungover.

Have an assessment with a psychologist tomorrow morning for counselling via a charity, and GP in the afternoon. Feeling twitchy already...I know I will want to drink tomorrow. But want to get up early Tuesday to spend as much time with friend so guess that needs to be the focus.

Also need to think of a good explanation for the state of my face, and the fact that sitting down is a bit of a challenge At least I don't have to face work like this I guess.

Elba sounds like a plan So you now need loads of distractions, plan what your going to drink instead of booze (take it with you to your friends & don't forget a bag ice - ingredients for Mocktails, maybe?) choose a chic flick to take with you?
Can you say 'I'd had a few drinks sitting on the pub garden wall, laughed so much leant back and fell over the other side, as I tried to get up, lost my balance and fell face first'? (Not sure, might need tweaking) or just be totally honest?
Tomorrow sounds really positive, I hope it goes well. The other thing, I know it sounds mad, look at yourself in the mirror and smile, keep smiling (doesn't have to be in the mirror) find things that make you smile, the view of the beach the other day, smiling lets your dolphins out & will make you feel so much better

I had lovely dark curls as a baby, apparently... Now it's just limp and lifeless lol

Cute Joey
How's your weekend been?

Thanks spanna To be honest I'm never offered alcohol there anyway...they barely drink. If I can make myself get into bed when they do rather than stay up drinking I'll be fine. (Not sure if 'smiling lets your dolphins out' was a typo or a phrase I've not heard of, but it definitely made me smile!)

Got through tonight, drinking tomato juice laced with Tabasco which is actually really nice, so day 1 done (again).

Anyone got any suggestions for a good box set on Netflix or catchup? Think getting really 'into' a series to watch in bed might help (probably terrible in terms of sleep hygiene etc etc but better than drinking!), but there's too much to choose from (don't normally watch much tv).

Loving all the baby pictures!

Hi elba have you seen breaking bad? I'm not one for boxsets but I bloody loved breaking bad! Well done on day 1.

Ooh joey how cute!!! God we must all be gorgeous babes now if we were that cute as babies. I have gone to bed. Stops me drinking more. Here's hoping I do better this week than last week.

Elba Dolphins=Endorphins my DC used to say Dolphins x

Ooh elba I have lots of netflix recomendations (you can tell what I spend my time doing lol) Gilmore girls is a good one. Ab Fab is one I've recently got into and find it hilarious, Bates Motel is alright, Whitechapel is good if you're not too squeamish, Spooks is quite good too. Peaky blinders is a favourite of mine too, and I quite like Outnumbered. I've not been able to et into Orange is the new black or pretty little liars or once upon a time, but others have told me they're good so you could try those? Breakout Kings is fab! If you fancy something quite 'old', full house is on there, so's some of the only fools and horses episodes, and the royle family.

thanks for the suggestions claret and made, going to give breaking bad a go to start with.

spanna I prefer Dolphins (have we got room for one on the bus??)

Night all ️xxx

Day 1, I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself but I feel like a ball of anxiety. I've tried to unpick it but the more I think about it the more potential problems i find to get wound up over. Logically I know drinking won't help but it's tempting to just temporarily unwind.

So I'm putting it on her so I bloody well feel obligated to stick with it...I will not drink now for 16 days. I WILL NOT. I feel awful and fat and tired from too much wine.

Day 1 with you fading lets do this together.

*here not her!

Morning all, started away over weekend as been drinking although managing to moderate by the skin of my teeth. Two bottles of fizzy wine, two beers and a few Beck's blue spread equally over three nights so no mad hangovers or anything but I did fail to meet my personal challenge of 4 days alcohol free last week. So my hope is Mon - Thurs dry then we will see. Elba, sorry you have hurt yourself, join me till Thursday at least? Hope it's a nice sunny Monday for everyone up and down the country x

Had an assessment with a psychologist this morning and been offered up to a year of specialist therapy, hopefully starting August. Not alcohol related specifically, but (for once) I was totally honest with the psychologist so it's all there on record... I pay part and part charity funded so it would be wasting everyone's time and money not to be honest. Lots of fairly intrusive questions but she had some insights that just made so so much sense. Like she understood more about me after an hour than i have in 31 years. So in all, a fairly postive experience, and feels like I have a 'plan'.

Day 2 today...mrs yes I will join you, going for 7 days....

Hope everyone's ok xxx

Bloody hellfire! I can post again!!!!!
Right when I needed the bus the very most I couldn't log in, it kept kicking me off on my laptop and the batphone.

I have had the most miserable two weeks. I swear if it wasn't for the Terrorist I would have gone under with the stress of it all. I find myself on day 1 yet again. Coped the only way I knew how. Coped a lot. Feel puffy and bloaty and thread veiny. Eyes like pissholes in the snow.

I don't think I was the only man down looking at site stuff. Weird that it didn't affect everybody. At work but will post later, bosiesandbosiesandbosies, xx

wry!!! I've missed you! Sorry the last few weeks have been horrible big hugs xxx

Hey all. How are you lot? Loving the baby photos, you are obviously all gorgeous judging by them! I'll try and find one of me, just for the fun.

elba are you ok? Date on sat was really fun, he turned up with flowers, then we went out for dinner, and I spent horrendous amounts of money after a hundred few cocktails on ridiculous things that I certainly don't need, when we went late night shopping afterwards. Then rejoiced when Germany brat Italy in the random pub we ended up in not bitter about the break up with the ex whatsoever, much. Damn you cocktails. I am such an idiot.

No, he doesn't know about the drinking. I have a horrible feeling that he will soon find out. I am the expert at pretending all is fine, even when I am two sheets to the wind, until I hit the brick wall of not being able to form sentences or remain upright. But then I always blame it on something else, like not eating/having taken a strong antihistamine etc etc. He is a lot younger than me (makes me sound like a crazed cradle snatcher), but he is a decent bloke, and I don't want to f it all up. Not much recollection of getting home, but he is still speaking to me, so guess I didn't mess up too badly...

Looks like it is going to be stormy here this eve. Hope you have all had a good day. Sorry not to name check anymore of you babes, but will have a proper re- read when I get back from rushing pup to her haircut. Oh and it's just started raining, typical.

Love to all you lot, and especially those who are totally slamming this AF thing, and those who are, like me, trying and failing miserably. We will get there, especially as we have such great role models on this thread.

Babes, I salute you