Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

Just had last session with my lovely lovely counsellor. It sounds wimpy but I'm going to really miss her, and I'm scared to not have that weekly support for a while until I sort something else. All got a bit emotional at the end and she gave me a hug and looked a bit teary herself which took me by surprise but was lovely. Just stupidly sad about it which is pathetic really. Also possibly admitted a bit too much and then agreed for her to tell GP on the discharge letter so a bit panicked about repercussions...

Completely failed to be AF since last weekend..,this is day 5 of drinking. Managed to work 14 hours yesterday with a hangover, came home and had a drink, then had to sit through an early meeting today with a hangover....now having a glass of wine just because I'm hungover, tired and sad and clearly not emotionally mature enough to cope with anything.....it's such a stupid, endless, pointless cycle.

Sorry, yet another self absorbed post...

Elba I was thinking about you in my car today when the song 'Tainted Love' came on the radio. It made me think that you (and many others of us) have a love/hate relationship with alcohol which is why we don't want to give it up.

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy babe could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away, you don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you think love is to pray drink
But I'm sorry, I don't pray want to drink that way

The relationship is toxic and making the break is the only way to stop the cycle.

Anyway, just my thoughts for today

Elba, you aren't emotionally immature, you are going to the only coping mechanism you feel toy have at the moment; you need more help to find alternatives. Have you managed to have something to eat this evening? If you're still drinking can you stop just for now while you have a cup of tea or something?

Faire that seems so apt.

I've survived two pubs AF today, and I'm now in my pjs relieved I made it. SweetDog's eye seems to be responding to treatment quite quickly, thank goodness, though he has been very subdued (by spaniel standards).

Hope everyone else is ok.

Trideton get obliterated and can't even manage that it seems...morn sideburns possible any more, too much tolerance. Faire yes totally true and appt lull lyrics, and you are right and this has do stop. there's no point.

Shit sorry even I cave work out what's that meant to mean..., esp the sideburns?!

Morning All.

Elba are you ok this morning?

Not a good night - terrific thunderstorm started at 2am. I went down to be with Sweet Dog, who, true to his gun dog breeding, was absolutely unfazed by the whole thing!

So, I'm going to have to watch for being tired today - big danger for me - onwards with day four.

Morning All

just checking in. I'm sorry some of you are struggling Take one day at a time. Break it down into minutes, hours if it's easier. Distract, distract, distract.

I think, in my humble opinion that not having booze in the house is easier, as there is always the dilemma of 'shall I, shan't I, shall I, shan't I'.....the internal dialogue of most of us here!

Claret you travel to some far away places lovely, I've just booked for Iceland in Feb half term, so will be picking your brains nearer the time. We're only going for 2 nights and 3 full days probably not long enough but hey Where have you recently come back from?

Ma to you lovely one. I wish I could take all your stress & worry away from you x

Joey it's always good to book a holiday, gives you something to look forward to

Wry it's lovely having you back on this bus, I love reading your posts, you are awesome x

Sweet Day 4 today? Oh yes, the sleep, is sooooo good isn't it? My sleep would be so much better if we didn't have the seagulls waking me up at stupid o'clock in the morning. Amazing storm last night loads of lightning. Have a good day x

Nuff love Soft Cell x

Elba cuddles, hugs, and re-assurance darling, you are on the right path x

Halle you ok?

Margie come and say hello x

Beaches how are you pumpkin?

Fox where have you gone?

Isinde I hope you are ok and that life isn't too stressful x

Hope how's your 'thing' going lovely? I hope you're networking and getting some good contacts x

All a bit stressful here. I've had to give up a few of my oldies last week. One client decided to have a good shout at me, I went home and on reflection, thought this isn't worth £40 per week, I just don't need it !!!!
Real life without booze can be harsh with no buffer to fog around the edges - it's tough and a bit of a white knuckle ride. DD1 is worrying me to the bone, she's not going to college, seems to have given up on life (she's only 17), she doesn't have any friends and is so lonely, it makes me cry I've just helped her do an application to Tescos for part-time work, so hopefully she'll get that, and it may give her some purpose, who knows

Anyway I'm doing my usual, post and run off to work.
Love to you all - have a good day all. x

Sweet morning, ditto re storm

Yes what a storm last night!!! I laid awake whilst dh and DD slept through it.

On day 3 here. Battling the witch each evening but so happy once it passes.

spanna I love to travel and am fortunate to be with someone who shares that passion. Iceland is truely beautiful and you will see it in all its snowy glory in February. You'll have a great time. We've just come back from Corsica, a beautiful lesser known med island.

Anyway, I've got a cracking headache - might be the insane humidity this morning so going to get off my phone for a bit!

elba I hope you are ok

How exciting, Spanna, I would love to go to Iceland, but DH doesn't do cold! Malta for us this summer though.

Claret well done for day three, stick with it. I'm on day four, and on this mornings dog walk a friend asked if I'd got new make up because I looked really good this morning - I wasn't wearing any, that may well be what gets me through today.

Day 4 and day 4 of this 800 cal diet, although I think I'm going slightly over 800 cals. It's supposed to be an eight week diet but I won't be keeping to it over the weekend, I don't think it's sustainable for a long period of time. That said I've dropped three pounds - I'm sure it's water weight and not fat but it's nice to see the scales going in the right direction.

I really feel for your dd spanna I remember 17 being a really difficult time in my life. I felt directionless, had no motivation, and drifted from most of my friends from senior school. I think young people are just sort of expected to know what they want to do with their life and in reality that's not the case a lot of the time.

sweet go you! Day 4 is awesome. I'm right by your side being af today.

fading well done on the diet, hope you are feeling good for it. Always nice to see the scales going in the right direction for once. Do you find it distracts you from drinking? Focusing on what you're eating instead?

spanna 17 is such a hard age. Not a girl not yet a woman - and very hard to know who you are and where you belong. On the plus side it's an age of transition...those who've not enjoyed school can move on and away from that life if they wish...is there anything at all that lights a spark for your dd1? Any vocational training she could do? I'm sure you're a great mum supporting her through this tough time.

claret I haven't thought much about drinking I think because the diet is so restrictive. There's no room for an alcohol cals, I'd have to eat half as much just to have two glasses of wine. I remember years ago someone saying that they did the 5/2 diet and found they naturally cut their drinking down without consciously trying to. I know I usually come unstuck with diets when I try to 'point' or 'sin' wine.

Same fading I'm actually pretty good at the dieting thing until alcohol gets involved...

Sweets DH is an only child, and was never brought up to think of anything beyond his own needs - he'd book his own annual leave from work, and that's it!

If I left the holiday organisation to him, we'd find ourselves trying to smuggle a non-allowed dog into a ridiculously expensive yurt 50 miles out of Aberdeen ; while simultaneously apologising to my best friend for being late to her wedding as we had to drive 400 miles the same morning. And the DC wouldn't be able to see their cousins, because he forgot the school term dates are different in Scotland.

As the eldest, I hated having to be responsible for my unruly sisters, and yet I'm still the "organiser"

Sorry, once again, I'm really coming across as a drunken idiot now. Got to go to work and hungover and anxious as anything, too late to phone in so will have to suck it up..at least it will stop me drinking. Running late but will post properly in the morning xxx

Is that your other Alias, Joey ?

Argh! I really, really, really want a glass of wine. I've already eaten two chocolate bics, swigged two Becks Blue, now I'm on fruit tea and it's driving me nuts.

Oh crap.

Er, no, not at all... That wasn't me

It should sodding well warn you if you name change and forget to change back

Hi babes,

Bit pissed off at the moment, first world problem but my weight is really getting me down. I've gained a stone and a half since I started my bipolar meds and despite cutting down to half as I've been switched to a weight friendlier one just can't get it off. My dh says I think I look much bigger than I am so my bipolar may be at work but I'm 3 stone overweight and despite being 5ft 9 it really shows on me now.

I know my mental wellbeing is much more important but I just don't feel like myself with the extra weight. You know the drill, wearing different clothes to try and hide it, can't be bothered trying to wrestle with my very long, badly behaved hair, what's the point of getting done up cos I'm so fat blah blah blah. Worst of all you become a bit invisible when your fat. Well fat AND 45.

Anyway it's really just a rant. I don't even eat much because of my Crohn's, it's quite advanced so I couldn't get out and about if I ate big meals and if I eat the whole grains, salad and veg which would help with any weight loss plan, I'm in agony for hours while my ravaged bowels scream nooooooo you fool.

Anyway just wanted to vent a bit but I'm going to read back now and will be back later.

Luffs you all xxx (except thin babes)
Kidding cxx

Oh Baby, that really sucks, do you have, or could you get a referral to a dietitian?

Just took the fog for a walk, which has warded off WW for a bit, but still feeling twitchy.

Hi babes, sorry I haven't had chance to read back and see how you all are.
Just back from 2 weeks all inclusive hols. I survived!! Got rather merry twice but overall I moderated and even managed 2 AF days!! Kids had a fab time and I enjoyed it too (was dreading it before we went - free booze!).

Sweet online jigsaw, something on TV, paint your toenails, anything but don't have wine, you'll be on day 5 tomorrow. You'll feel better in the morning and breathe
You can do this, distract, distract WW is a cunning cow x

Just a quick check in to say rarity, well done you!!! Hope you had a fantastic break. 2 days af on hols? Unheard of; kudos to you my friend xx

GoT catch up, Corrie, and combing the grass seeds out of SweetDog, Spanna, and I feel another mint tea is necessary.

This is a picture of the General contemplating his navel. Do cats have navels?