ma fit like the day quine? Tried to post last night but I couldn't log in for some reason, but I was thinking of you. My grunny had dementia, it broke my heart. She was so focused on my dad at the end, she would hiss "why have you brought her? I cannot thole that besom!" whenever I went to visit. In the end it was decided that me visiting upset her too much and affected the time she had left with my dad. It is always more painful for the people left behind, even if that is not behind after a death, but behind the memories of a life without you in it. I'm sorry if I am babbling, my heart knows what it's trying to say, and that is I wish you strength my dear friend , it's coorse what you're going through, and painful, xx
sweet I tried your mindfulness lesson on my walk with Miss Counter Terrorist. I got to the park and spotted all sorts of potential 'terrorist hazards', kids with footballs ripe for bursting, folk eating chips, folk with ice creams, next door's with their bitey collies hogging a whole section of dog area with a chuckit, and felt anxiety bubble up within. So I found a bench, and waitied for the park to clear a bit.
Bugger me, I am nae kidding, by the end of our walkie I was all about the now, the air, the sky, the fresh cut cricket pitch, the daisies and buttercups, the bees, it was so freeing. Today's hurt just washed away, the dread of going in tomorrow ceased to exist. I could have wept with happy. Then the Terrorist ran up to a small spaniel she knows, sat on her head and started humping her. I need to practice this a lot more but I get the gist, it's fab! Thank you! xx
venus I came back from our walkie and sat in the garden with a ginger beer. Did the watching and looking thing. The holes she dug in the grass - the blackbird was getting his tea from the freshly dug mound of earth. The two plants she uprooted earlier that had shrivelled - I soaked and replanted with faith. The fucking great big scary spider who lives under the Cotoneaster arch - the web is a work of art and symmetry. The new Colditz fence - starting to soften with tendrils of greenery and my lovely dog rose. I wish I had a dandelion to examine but I have a dog who eats them. More peace ensued. There might be something in this for me you know. Dare I try to apply it in work tomorrow? Or is it something I have to practise when not too stressy? Thank you, it really is mind quieting, xx
lala your horse is beautiful, one day I shall have one of my own. That is my dream. We lost our land to compulsory purchase years ago (and got shiting peanuts) thanks to the bypass. I couldn't afford to replace it as it was within walking distance of town, and land here goes for ridiculous amounts nowadays. One day though. How are you today? You need to give yourself time darling, love will find you, you need not to be looking just now. You need to heal first. Find your smile again. The garden is good for pup, and you can gain your strength there, xx
fading 800 calories?! Oh god, I reckon that's one and a half butteries. 
Do you feel energised or weakened? My boss has a pack up of two apples and a banana, I think I would feel wabbit with just that. Or would I? Does it give you more energy? Is it like feeling the "fear"? I know I need to stop bread, it just makes me sluggish and bloated. As does the wine, but that's a given. You are welcome in my virtual garden any time for a moment of peace and tranquility. xx
faire, elba and sober hello chickadees! How are you? xx
mouse glad you are off on some hols! Sounds fantastic! You must be proper excited, bless ye, xx
joey hiaye quine, fit like a day hiv ye hid? Mine wisna o'er bad, I caught folk spikkin aboot me today, which is nivver fine. I could roar wi the coorseness o it 'a, but I can rise abeen it. I'm put in mind of venus when she spoke about the concrete. Aiberdeen looks dreich and grey in the weet, but fan the sun comes oot, oh! The granite sparkles and looks unco bonny. Forgive my doric haverings quine, but I think we are all capable of a sparkle, no matter how dark things get for us. We all shine. We just need a chamois. Thank you for letting me haver, it brings me comfort to gie it laldy in ma mither tongue. And you ken exactly fit ah mean, xx
I am going to try and post this, but if it disappears yet again I think I'll roar. The site has been kicking me off my login for most o today, so here goes....
Big, bosies from me and hoond, xx