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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes Battle Bus

999 replies

Halleberry · 29/05/2016 13:25

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

OP posts:
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34
MaryMungoAndMidgies · 18/06/2016 15:32

Sweet, will, small!!!! As I live and breathe! What a treat to come back to!!!!

I'm all about the !! today... Oh god it's so good to see you! And Sweet your gorgeous, gorgeous dog and garden!! I love the wee moongazing hare!! And lets face it, I'm also mildly jealous of your ungnashed garden. Grin

I have had a week of quiet contemplation, hard dieting and detoxing. I was at work, but got my head down and cracked on. A new drama has hit, and while things are still awkward, as a few of you wise ladies said it has deflected the barrel of shite coming my way. The worst offender got rather a big touch of his own medicine from someone bigger and better when he disagreed (dare I say wrongly) with their opinion.

It has reinforced my belief that I was right to question when I did, like with all human beings, occasionally we can get things wrong and it doesn't mean you are bad at your job. The right thing to do is accept your were wrong in that instance and strive to learn from that mistake so you do your best to not let it happen again.

He was so miserable and upset. So, dear readers... I talked to him, just chit chat, mainly to break the silence as the atmosphere was just awful. I wouldn't say we are on an even keel again, far from it, but I hate to see people hurting and in turmoil. We shall see what next week brings.

The Counter Terrorist is being a grade A stroppy mare at the minute, she is squeaking, stealing and throwing the most almighty tantrums. Which I ignore. Did I mention she is humping everything she can wrap her little front legs round? Thank god we have a high fence. She throws herself into it all with such gusto, it's all so untidy....

I have resisted the Awd Saggy Arse this week. And spent some money on some White Company sale bedlinen instead. Not just spare wine money, some of my weekly food money, as eating healthily isn't as expensive as I thought.

My clear out is not complete, but I made a ruddy good start on it. I am trying my hardest to make my life a bit tidier, in every way possible. For me and my hound. She deserves better. She doesn't always get the best of me, but accepts me anyway. I love her for that.

ma keep on fighting for your men!!!! They would be bloody well lost without you, and you them. We'll all help you look after some marines...dogs and cats are great for breaking the ice...I have plenty of knickers that need an airing...my skin is shiteloads better from all the veg and water...ma? Oh yes.

I am marine ready.

But please wait until I've had a five minutes to epilate. I'm sure they are fairly bored of doing Bear Grylls style manoeuvres in forests.

Hello and bosies to everyone, forgive the lack of namecheckery, I'm on the batphone, and feart I lose this one. I am almost at my friend's house, away for a ride in the fresh air. She has got ribeyes for dinner, from her friend's Dexters. I am slavering already! Hope she's making chippies and onion rings... Catch you later, xx

fadingblonde1 · 18/06/2016 15:34

Afternoon all :)

I had a glass of wine last night after going out for a meal. I was driving so didn't drink when I was out then had the glass at about 11.30. Should have just went to bed really.

I was doing well on the eating healthily and exercising for about two days, then I had a rest day and it went by the by after that. I really need to stop going from one extreme to the other. I totally self sabotage. It's the same with drinking, the other day I thinking I was finding it easier than usual to have af days so I had a glass of wine. It's almost like I panicked that I wasn't wanting to drink so thought I'd better have a drink...really weird.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 18/06/2016 15:41

lala hey you, I know it doesn't feel like it at the minute, but things will come right again, you just need to find your feet. You've had a shitty few weeks, of course it will take a minute to get your bearings. Get a load of washing on, that's your first target, tomorrow's is a load of ironing. Baby steps darling girl, baby steps.

Then a face/hair mask. it will give your wee pup a bit of a fleg but you need to do something nice for you. Honey, yoghurt and oatmeal is a nice face one, and fairly gentle if you are a bit sensitive. See you in a bit, xx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 18/06/2016 16:55

Hi babes sorry for being quiet of late.

Having a fairly good week so far but am out tonight so need to be mindful. 2 pregnant people are out with me in a small group so hopefully that'll keep me in check! Had an af Friday yesterday which was great. Always find Friday's hard.

will was so good to hear from you! Pop back in and let us know how you are doing!

lala so your test results weren't good...hopefully you get the referral through nice and quick so you can find out the true position. As tempting as it is I think knowledge is power in these situations. Hope pub and horse are both well!

Welcome to newbies - you are in the right place here. So much support, its great.

Can't name check further as have a squirmy toddler on my lap but ma great testimonial, you're a cracker of a woman you really are Flowers

aliasjoey · 18/06/2016 17:39

Wry glad things are getting better at work. You really are a star for taking the high ground and talking to your colleague.

Did you read my post about the gluten free rowies? ShockConfused

PuppysMum1 · 18/06/2016 17:56

Hello, sorry to barge right in but finding it hard to focus right now.

I've taken my first Nalmefene (Selincro) tablet this evening and feeling awful. I hate feeling like this.

I was wondering if anyone on here has tried them and could reassure me or otherwise.

Thanks a lot.

Lalaladida · 18/06/2016 18:06

wry thank you so much for that, you are wise! Taking a break from the drink to bathe the pup. I am now soaked, and she is chattering away wrapped in many blankets, but still giving me the eyes eg what did I do to her.

claret, horse is awesome, she has been an absolute babe and really gentle with me recently. Sure she can sense something is up.

Babes, I love you all. Got to go and get ready for a night out. And so the cycle begins again....

ClaretAndBlue30 · 18/06/2016 18:15

lala I meant pup not pub in my last post, sorry BlushBlushwhat a typo for this thread....

Lalaladida · 18/06/2016 18:17

claret I knew what you meant!!!! Grin

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 18/06/2016 20:14

Hi there claret! A massive woohoo for your AF Friday! Friday's are my worst night too. Probably because I really need 2 days to recover after a binge. Have a great evening out, enjoy! Xx

Joey my mind subconsciously blotted out the abysmal thought of a fichered wi buttery. Gluten free?!?' Them's be dry, dusty sand castles. .

What's next? Reduced fat? No salt? they'd turn into modified baps.

I wonder if I can campaign for Aitken's rowies to have protected status. Like pandas and rhinos. I can't let them hurt my one true food love. I can't. Gluten free Aitkens? Nuh. I will chain myself to the shoppie in John Street, they would have to prise their last full fat/flour/salty/greasy disc of lip smacking goodness from my cold, dead hand.

I am going to have nightmare for weeks...

dementedma · 18/06/2016 20:15

wry you need help. You need to be debutteried!

Elba84 · 18/06/2016 20:39

Just got home and feeling like shit, hated every minute of today...am I that pathetic and self absorbed that I can't even enjoy my closest and oldest friends baby shower?!?! Had to have a drink to even get on the tube, then met my two remaining single friends first for a drink but I was the only one of us actually drinking. Fought back tears through the whole bloody thing then cried on the train home (thank god for sunglasses). Just felt so lonely through the whole thing but at the same time desperate to get away and be on my own.

Hate myself so so much right now, and dealing with it in the only way I know. Had wine on train, and have sunk most of a bottle in record time even for me, just want to get totally obliterated and I know it will make me worse but I don't care. Can't handle feeling like this anymore and no idea what to do about it.

dementedma · 18/06/2016 20:59

Oh Elba, love. Can you stop and just go to bed?

Pinkballetflats · 18/06/2016 21:07

Hi all.

I've got some catching up to do!

I've been hibernating - wrong time of year but there you go.

How are we all?

I'm nearly 4 weeks away from the next court date: in four weeks time my lovely little girl may be given to her dad.

His car is parked up the road right now - a bit unnerving, but I can't stop him visiting his friend next door. I feel like I'm being watched.

Pinkballetflats · 18/06/2016 21:10

Elba, lovely, I know that feeling so well.

I know you've mentioned childhood trauma: any chance you can get EMDR therapy?

Give yourself a hug, be kind to yourself, you deserve kindness and love.

Wish I was there to give you a massive squeeze

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 18/06/2016 21:16

ma hello me dear!

Oh aye. Rehab for my buttery habit. Sign me up. Free butteries?!? I'm in.

Unless they try to wean me off them with croissants. Then Colditz couldn't hold me.

There might me a use for me silk drawers after all. an apricot silk giant kite would float me back to John Street a la Up!

Aaah. The nightmare of a cold, harsh world athoot butteries fades...

Oh! Or you could send some marines in to get me oot.

I'm easy. .

Elba84 · 18/06/2016 21:22

Thank you ma and pink. Can't stop, literally can't stop. Can't go to bed feeling like this. Been digging my nails in to myself all day but want to do more and dint want to go there, I just want to drink myself to sleep x

Elba84 · 18/06/2016 21:25

Just though how that might of sounded, I'm safe and not going to be stupid

So sorry ever one shouldn't be putting this here

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 18/06/2016 21:33

elba my quine, please, please try not to drink any more. As ma suggested, head for your bed darling. Try to get some sleep. Take some water up with you.

I'm sorry you feel so bleak today, you sound so weary of it all. I wish I had some wise words to make you feel better.

But this I know, as a "blotter" myself. You can't obliterate it. Oh we may think so at the time but it hits you again like a giant hoof up the arse come morning. We know this for truth, each and every one of us.

Please, head for bed, you sound exhausted in every way. Don't feel bad about today, you coped. You went to meet them, despite your pain. Oh sweetheart, if I could wave a magic wand for you, I would. Xx

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 18/06/2016 21:39

And excuse my flippant arse of a post after yours, I am such a slow typer and on phone so didn't read in between.

You have a whole bus load o folk sitting wi you, we are right here, xx

Lalaladida · 19/06/2016 00:57

Oh elba I so want to give you a cuddle. Feeling pretty much the same here. Just watched a 'feel good' film and made me cry the whole way through. I am feeling sad and alone tonight. Got loads of take away. Not eaten it, can't be bothered. Fed up of this life.

pink my heart goes out to you. I have no advice to offer you, but I am thinking of you xxx

ClaretAndBlue30 · 19/06/2016 07:04

So this morning I've woken up with my first hangover in a long time - I feel retched and shaky. I wasn't bad last night fortunately, but i think I'd have had more fun sober - I distinctly remember not getting my points across very well which always annoys me.

Now I have to do a day of anxiety which I bloody hate. Gah.

Hope you other lovely babes are ok this morning.

peckishbabysitter · 19/06/2016 09:23

elba and lala I hope you are ok. You both sounded so sad last night. claret I sympathise with your day of anxiety. I had it all day yesterday and can still feel a tinge of it today.

I managed to restrict myself to one drink at the festival and a couple of (large) wines in the evening. Certainly not moderate by anyone's standards but better than normal for me.

So today it is only 9.30 and I have already had several conversations with myself about drinking opportunities - should we take DH out for lunch? it is Father's Day after all. Or maybe we should have a drink with friends when they call in'for tea'? Failing that, there is always the old reliable Sunday dinner. It's so sad to see myself constantly spotting the next excuse for a drink.

I have tons of work to do over the next few weeks and I know I would be so much more productive without the booze... Why is it so hard to find the resolve?

Lalaladida · 19/06/2016 12:33

peckish, it's horrible isn't it? Do you get anxious if there is not enough booze in the house? I do Sad - it really is pathetic. I have to make sure that there are at least two bottles of wine, even if I don't drink them, to keep my mind at ease. Feeling rough this morning, wasted it by lying around in bed. Really need to find some motivation....

claret hope you aren't feeling too bad, the anxiety is the worst part of the hangover. Hope you can make it through the day without too much of the horrors.

elba are you ok? What are you up to today?

Love to everyone else.

babyjane1 · 19/06/2016 13:23

Hi guys,

lala I feel for you babe, it's so bloody hard when you split up with someone. Even when you know it's for the best, your heart overides your head sometimes and you actually miss the eejit, like childbirth the bad bits melt away and the good bits trick the brain. It's totally normal to lick your wounds for a bit but I know when I split with dh1 for a million good reasons it's when I was drunk that I romanticised it all and felt sad. You come across as funny, warm and quick witted and very smart.time to fight back me thinks and spend time on yourself, healthy eating, excercise, spending time with good friends and lots and lots of riding (horse or handsome young men) equally apply. Hugs my friend.

elba I'm so very worried for you. You have 2 incredibly powerful forces at work. Fight or flight, there is fight part of you wanting so bad to escape the shackles drink has imprisoned you with and the flight is escaping your fear which is through drink which weakens and depletes all the strength you have to fight.

It's a shit existence and one I know only 2 well. I think it's very important for me to tell you that will power alone would never have made me better, even sober my demons did not go away, I fought them miserably for weeks at time and eventually through lack of sleep, constant anxiety and a horrible tense existence I would succumb once again to the quiet, promising tranquility of drink and the shame and self loathing it scarred me with.

I only got better when a crisis team had to intervene, prompted by my dh who could see me disappear day by day Infront of him. To discover I was bipolar was joyful for me, it wasn't my fault, there was a broken part of my brain that no amount of love or effort could fix. Since I've been on my meds, I have been reborn, but not in any crazy, life changing way just in a way that has brought me back to my dh, my family, my friends and myself.

I'm sure you must know your tablets cannot give you the benefit they shoukd offer while your drinking this way.

I am not preaching please believe me, I am so fond of you and I think we all feel honoured that you've opened your weary heart to us.

Could you be suffering from a mood disorder, your parallels are so extreme I've thought it for a while. I feel so much compassion for you and get flashbacks to my hell through watching you live yours and I feel so bloody helpless stuck a million gigabytes away from you.

Please please please seek help, it's there if you can just reach out and have the courage to accept it....

Much love xxx