I'm not pregnant! An update thread.

[MrsHenryWinter]

This is an update for those of you that might be wondering. I'm not pregnant! I'm so relieved.

I know it was highly unlikely after the MAP and the coil but it's still a massive load off.

Thank you to everyone that has sent me messages after my last thread, it means a lot.

[Florene]

Women's Aid can help you with practical solutions regarding the dogs - concern over pets has been identified as one of the issues that women don't leave abusive relationships, and so they have some solutions for women in your position so that this is one less thing to worry about.

I really hope you leave. I am a Police Officer and this is exactly what the new Coercive Control offence was brought in to deal with. If you need any help or advice please feel free to contact me

[NCVanish]

OP, you're doing great. You've realised what is happening and now can plan to leave. I'm sure your friends realise more than you think, and even if not once you leave they will believe you 100% and will look back and see all the abuse and support you

[Zaurak]

If you open your own account make absolutely sure it's paper free - you don't want anything being sent to the house.

[Kenduskeag]

Women's Aid can talk to you about refuges, but with your access to money you could consider privately renting. Have a wee browse on Rightmove at flats and start to imagine them as yours. Council housing waiting list, as well. Your husband wouldn't even know where you lived. Complete freedom.

You owe no one an explanation. People will say 'why did you split?' and you can simply say 'That is between us'. If you get braver, maybe 'It was a very controlled environment'. There will be clichés - oh but he hasn't hit you in ages, oh but you should do what he says, oh but oh but - but hey, these people will die out eventually and their ancient misogynist views will die with them. You owe them nothing.

[NameChange30]

Yes but a refuge would be a temporary measure while the OP finds somewhere more permanent to live, whether that's a privately rented property, council/social housing, or a home that she owns (after the divorce and financial settlement go through she will probably be able to buy somewhere). However that's a big step to think about atm. One step at a time.

[Honeymoonmummy]

How are you getting on now MrsHenryWinter?