Controlling partner making me lie

[Feelingthefearnow]

Hi please help
I met my partner three years ago . We quickly moved in together . The relationship was amazing following the volatile marriage I had . It began a very attentive partnership which I'd never experienced . To cut a long story short ... And I don't know how I got here ... But basically I can't do anything now without him knowing . He maps out my every move wants to know when I'm leaving places , when I get there . When my phone goes he wants to know exactly who it is and what they want ... I'm a nervous wreck ... I have told him a couple of lies and said I've stayed at home when I just want a bit of freedom and he found out . He has been calling me a liar and said some nasty things . I don't see anyone anymore and he says if I don't start bringing my friends round and family anymore he will tell them what a liar I am and how badly I've treated him ! He manipulates everything I do . I feel so miserable scared and trapped . I'm constantly walking on egg shells and saying sorry all the time . I feel nobody will believe me as he comes across so nice and polite .. I'm at my wits end

by really

Have you actually read the thread? Like the OP said, her responsibilities lie with her own children and also for escaping an abusive relationship.

It is entirely up to the ex's exDP to monitor this re: their daughter.....she herself probably left due to the same thing.

byjimminery - the OP has no right to stop her ex seeing his DD who isn't her child. You can't stay in an abusive situation just for a step child who visits occasionally. Neither can you stop a step child visiting (their mother may be able to).

In fact if you look at stories on here you would realise sometimes parents can't even stop their own children visiting parents who they believe may be abusive to them.

So go away and think about trying to guilt trip someone with children, who has managed to get out of an abusive situation.

Well done op... I lived the fear with you reading this post X now it's the mental stuff will be trying to get you back.. You've done the first part. It's staying away that's tricky X

You summed it up perfectly chocolate

by wants op to throw herself, and her own children, back into an abusive situation so that they can help another child who is rarely there.

So glad you are out op, relish the freedom.

Thank you for supporting me like this . No matter what , everyone's situation will bear similarities but every situation is completely individual. So only I know what is right and what I need to do . It seems a shame that I have gained a lot of my strength on this thread through MN friends for it to come to this feeling when I have got out of this To try to make me feel I am leaving a child in potential danger . She is not my responsibility and yes it's someone else's problem I'm afraid but her being in danger is very much not the case in my eyes

He is the problem, you are protecting yourself and your children by getting out.

To many people think it's the woman's job to mind these men, it's not.

Are you getting support in real life too love?

Yes lots of support now thank you I've been speaking daily to WA and have family here 😀

I've only just read this thread from start to end and I am so so pleased you've managed to get out safely!! Well done you have been so so strong. And you should be proud of that for yourself and your DC

Keep taking as much support as you can get and you will get there eventually and be free

Ignore the feckin' muppet!!!!

Well done again OP.
So glad you have constant support from family and WA.
I hope you are feeling relief and freedom.

Ah thanks Hells knew I could rely on you !

You will find you'll start to think clearer when you're out, it's like getting out of jail.

There will be grief, then you will get angry, reeeeeelly angry when you remember all the shit he pulled!

Yea i have been writing lists all day about all the different occasions that things have happened because my head was going all over the place . It's been draining in reliving a lot of it but I needed to think about if if that makes sense and I needed to get mad . This is because I have time on my hands now and there is a big gap so it's easy when you feel lonely to focus on good times rather than why I am here . X

I did the same, wrote it all down. It was so therapeutic and it kept me on track.

Do point out to me where I have said that she should return? What absolute nonsense. Stop trying to twist my words and being so rude about what I have said. Having been the child left behind and later the adult who was stuck to the point of wanting to kill myself I am simply voicing my own thoughts on the girl left behind. I have no idea what her mother thinks or knows of the situation.

So glad to read that you got out.

ByJiminy This thread is about the OP and her wellbeing.
It sounds like you have experienced some difficulties in your life and if you wish to discuss them you can start a thread of your own in which to discuss them, but in this case your posts and your experiences aren't helpful.

Well done OP, and all the very best to your new life and freedom.

Apologies, didn't realise we weren't allowed to post our own thoughts on these threads. Wont be back. Sorry.

Self indulgent by. I'm sorry you had a tough time as a child. Many of us did. However this thread was about support for someone going through an equally tough time, and your posts have been very unsupportive to the OP and aggressive. As mentioned above, maybe starting your own thread would be a better idea.

by leave it out ffs!!

Gosh! OP hope you're managing to ignore the total wind up, some people are just dicks. I just wanted to add a voice of support and say a huge well done for getting out, this thread was so scary to read but you've done amazingly!

Thanks xxxxxx