Controlling partner making me lie

[Feelingthefearnow]

Hi please help
I met my partner three years ago . We quickly moved in together . The relationship was amazing following the volatile marriage I had . It began a very attentive partnership which I'd never experienced . To cut a long story short ... And I don't know how I got here ... But basically I can't do anything now without him knowing . He maps out my every move wants to know when I'm leaving places , when I get there . When my phone goes he wants to know exactly who it is and what they want ... I'm a nervous wreck ... I have told him a couple of lies and said I've stayed at home when I just want a bit of freedom and he found out . He has been calling me a liar and said some nasty things . I don't see anyone anymore and he says if I don't start bringing my friends round and family anymore he will tell them what a liar I am and how badly I've treated him ! He manipulates everything I do . I feel so miserable scared and trapped . I'm constantly walking on egg shells and saying sorry all the time . I feel nobody will believe me as he comes across so nice and polite .. I'm at my wits end

Congratulations. Be glad of the good times you had, at least it wasn't all misery, but enjoy your freedom.

Thank you xx

So pleased you're out and safe

I've been following your thread, but haven't commented because I've had nothing useful to add to all the excellent advice from everyone.

All the best to you

Ah thankyou x

Well done chick I know how hard all this is from experience..... Trust me it gets easier!! Here's to you moving forward xxx

Yay! Well done, really, so many many well dones to you .

I'm glad you're out, it's the big one, the leap into a world where you and your children have a future. I know they all have some good points, some good memories that can be treasured. But it wasn't worth staying in such a terrible situation just for the hope of another good memory to add to the pile... He was scary, and you've been so careful about leaving, you've done amazingly, and now you will be able to experience a hundred good times, a thousand, more! You have your whole life back again, filled with potential and hopes and joys. Not with fear and control and risk.

Well done again, you've done an amazing thing.

Nights may well be hard. There's usually someone on here if you need some company and hand holding.

Keep safe. Keep focused. Keep loving you and your kids. You're doing really really well

Im very glad to hear that the Op managed to get out to safety but I am concerned to hear that he has a child and now presumably its just him being extremely angry and the child...

What????
OP had 2 kids from previous relationship. He is not the dad.

That means this controlling guy is not the dad.

Thanks again for your support you are all keeping me motivated and looking forward . Yes he has a child he is not the father of my two which makes it less complicated . Feel better today , had a bizarre day yesterday where I felt so sad for the old times and couldn't get things out of my head but feel fine today xx

How often does he see his child?

You will have up and down days.
You will have wobbles.
When you do, come on here and we can all set you straight.

Thanks Hellsbells . He sees her every other weekend . He's fuming because she will have no furniture to come to the next time she comes . But he has the basics just not a table chairs in kitchen x

He can get those easily and for really cheap or free.
People have them all the time on Freecycle, Freebay, Facebook selling pages etc....
But Mehh.... you don't have to worry about that now.
Enjoy your freedom!

Are you at all worried for his daughter?

In what way ?

What do you mean in what way?? If you had to go to great length to escape him do you not think that she may be in some kind of danger too?

Byjimminy the OP is not his child's mother, who I'm sure has full measure of him. Contact is likely to be court ordered.

What exactly do you expect the OP to do about it? It is none of her business.

Thank you . Yes I've been through enough to start thinking about that . My priority is my children and their safety and well being . That's right that his child is mainly with his ex .

None of her business. Wow. yes, let someone else deal with it. Who cares.

byjimminey are you the OP's ex? Otherwise why try and guilt her into staying in an extremely damaging relationship?

Byjiminney With all respect you have no idea what I have been through . at this point right now I just want me and my children to start to get our lives back . She is with a loving mother who dotes on her and that's all that matters . This has had more than an impact on my wellbeing I just about have the strength to get my kids out to school in the morning . We are my priority . No one else

What on earth are you talking about LisaMed? My concern is that a young girl is having to spend time alone with the man. Stop talking nonsense.

And feelingthefearnow, I have every idea what you have been through.

Byjimminey what are you suggesting? That OP and her children return to an abusive relationship in order to keep his daughter company? Because she isn't allowed to remove his daughter.... Your responses are strange and show little empathy, despite you saying you know what she is going through...