Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm a Fucking idiot

209 replies

usedagain · 30/12/2015 23:56

For five fucking years I have supported my "partner" trying to run his own business, he has earned NOTHING in this time. I am in debt now +++ and the cunt tells me that he "thinks the distribution of finances is fair" . I pay all the bills , every single fucking thing for him including my own fucking birthday presents and he thinks this is FAIR.?.

I have been so so so stupid and used.

And now he won't fucking leave MY house.

OP posts:
Original poster
usedagain · 31/12/2015 12:48

No I called the police because he refused to leave . He is kicking off about the phone to the policewoman ...

OP posts:
Hillfarmer · 31/12/2015 12:51

Well Done OP. You're doing great. I salute and admire your anger. X

DoreenLethal · 31/12/2015 12:53

Keep going OP - don't forget to change the locks! Get a mate to go get the right fittings whilst you stay in the house - it takes about 15 mins to change.

And happy 2016 to you!

pocketsaviour · 31/12/2015 13:00

Good for you calling them. Brass necked little fecker. I bet the officers are hoping like crazy he will do something that would justify an arrest.

lorelei9 · 31/12/2015 13:03

I'll be rooting for you OP.

GlitteryFluff · 31/12/2015 13:05

Well done OP Thanks

Bogeyface · 31/12/2015 13:15

You have the combined power of all these angry MNers behind you (and a sensible policewoman by the sound of it), keep the faith Flowers

ouryve · 31/12/2015 13:32

Being rid of the freeloading wanker sounds like the best possible new year gift to yourself.

Thank goodness for sensible police officers.

Waltermittythesequel · 31/12/2015 13:34

He's horrible to your kids Sad

You'll look back in time and wonder what you ever saw in him. Really you will. Just stay strong!

sleeponeday · 31/12/2015 13:42

Oh, well done you! What a spoilt, entitled little shit he is.

Hope the locks are being changed at this very moment.

The fact he was horrible to your children is just unspeakable, tbh. Imagine he saw them as competition for the money.

Please see the CAB as soon as possible so you can book in an appointment for debt advice? There are paid specialists at most CABs who will offer free, confidential and expert advice on your situation - they have access to other service providers if they don't have people in that bureau offering it. You will have to wait a few weeks, usually, but the advice will be spot on and not cost you anything.

Leelu6 · 31/12/2015 13:58

Well done OP! How did he react when the police showed up? Hope it gave him the shock of a lifetime!

Dowser · 31/12/2015 14:06

No update.

Did he go?

Rift. Can't believe it! Thank god you've seen the light OP!

IWantSantasNewToyInMyStocking · 31/12/2015 14:45

Now don't let him back in under any circumstances. Well done OP.

cardedlady · 31/12/2015 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OTheHugeManatee · 31/12/2015 15:17

Well done OP. Stay strong. Your kids will thank you for it.

Original poster
usedagain · 31/12/2015 15:33

He's not gone. They offered to remove him and made it clear to him that he has no right to be here if I don't want him here. He has agreed to go and is sorting out a friends place to stay,

I didn't insist he was removed straight away because a) the kids are here b) I actually want him to take as much of his stuff as possible rather than keep coming back for it c) I'm too soft to kick anyone into the street and d) the police offered to come back at any time if he refuses to go...

I have hidden everything of value - I have his phone still - I am less angry but extremely resolute.

Enough.

OP posts:
mermaidinshoes · 31/12/2015 15:47

Hi, just on the practicalities of the phone..I work for a phone company and if the contract is in your name there is no problem at all changing the number. Simply call your provider and tell them you are worried about malicious calls and it will be free to do.

If its in contact you are tied to paying that unfortunately. But for instance if you were with the company I work for you could explain the circumstances and ask them to put you on the lowest plan possible and see out the contract that way.

Good for you for having this strength, and I know its probably going to hit you once the door closes behind him, but in a few months you will be wondering why you put up with it for so long!

sleeponeday · 31/12/2015 15:49

You are too nice, giving him more time when you've already had to call the police because he was refusing to leave.

Onwards and upwards, OP. Freedom starts from here!

zippey · 31/12/2015 15:54

Hope it all works out for you and I think you are doing the right thing. The downside to giving him time is that it also gives him time to emotionally attack you - to try and make you feel sorry for him. Watch out for the crocodile tears and the growing resentment that you aren't willing to support his freeloading anymore.

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 31/12/2015 16:21

You're nicer than me. I think you need to give him a very short period of time. Honestly, I'd say 48 hours for him to be gone but that he can keep some of his crap there for 15 days if he can't get it all out in 48 hours, with the understanding that he is NOT going to come and go to use nor to get it piece by piece.

In the meantime, lock up or remove your valuables to a friend's. His attitude towards the phone may mean that he feels that if you took his phone, he can take your 'whatever' in return.

scarlets · 31/12/2015 17:56

Call HMRC's Debt Management helpline - 0300 200 3822 - about your tax bill. It's closed now but will re-open on Saturday at 8am. You should be able to pay it off in instalments with no interest added given your circumstances.

sleeponeday · 31/12/2015 19:00

The downside to giving him time is that it also gives him time to emotionally attack you - to try and make you feel sorry for him. Watch out for the crocodile tears and the growing resentment that you aren't willing to support his freeloading anymore.

Afraid I agree. Please, try to remember all he has stolen from your kids - that money could have paid for driving lessons, university fees, a deposit on a first home. He is horrible to them and he has impoverished their mother so much she is struggling to get out from under a heavy load - and just emotionally, he has made it harder for you to mother them. This con man has robbed you all of so much - your peace of mind as well as the money.

ohtheholidays · 31/12/2015 21:47

Sorry OP I was the one that mentioned the Police and I've only just came back to your thread.

I've glad you've seen that they'll support you,they are usually really good in cases like this.I had to call them once to do the same for me,well before I met my DH.They were amazing for me,they wouldn't let him in(my ex)they collected and bagged his stuff up and made him get in the Police car so they could drive him to the train station and they made sure he got on the train and told him if he ever bothered me again or any of his family did on his say so that they'd nick the lot of them.It worked he fucked off and never came back Smile

I'd make sure you get the key for the Office now so that you can get in there and remove any and all equipment being stored there that you have paid for.Do you have any receipts,bank statements,card statements that have the purchases on that you bought for the Office?If you have keep them handy incase he try's to lie about paying for those bits as well.

OP has an adult I've always believed that the most important thing a parent can give to they're children is the knowledge that between that child and all of the evils of the world is they're parent.You've said he's been horrible to your children.Honestly kicking him out now will show them that as far as your concerned no one no matter who they are ever gets to treat any of your children with anything but love and respect.

Original poster
usedagain · 31/12/2015 23:05

He's gone, though he has not left keys and I don't know where he has gone..

Someone pointed out that he has robbed me of peace of mind - and that's exactly how it feels. I'm very anxious now and I have been for some time , I will be able to take control of my finances now , and arrangements - I have had to miss work several times because he has let me down , saying he would do something (eg be in for the builder etc) and then not being because we had a row ... Just not coming back home after a night out and not bothering to text me .. Thoughtless stupid man

I don't understand how how he could treat me so badly when I did so so much for him :-( how he could not even say thank you for so much

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 31/12/2015 23:15

He's gone, though he has not left keys and I don't know where he has gone

"Gone" as in actually leaving, or just stormed off in a huff? Could he have gone to crash someone else's party, sleep over then turn up again tomorrow with a sob story?

Can you somehow secure the house to stop him getting back in? Security chain on the door perhaps, or even something wedged behind it? It won't feel this way right now, but you've just been given the best new year's gift you could ever have - may 2016 be the start of a much better time for you Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread