DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Me too Cauliflower Go easy on yourself as I found that level of shame kept me drinking to forget. From today it will be different :)

It's the worst feeling and I always get it very badly. It's why drinking is so stupid, doing the same idiot thing but denying the outcome every time.
More positively I'm looking forward to an early night on NYE and a clear head the next day. I have gone months without drinking when pregnant and know I don't even miss it so I'm also holding that thought too.

If you're looking to do some reading to support you then Brene Brown has a great series of books. She's a shame researcher and her work is brilliant. I recommend all three books: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly & Rising Strong. She did a couple of great TED talks too and you can watch them here :) You won't miss it again once you get some time under your belt. I don't miss it at all & you couldn't pay me to drink now!!

Welcome cauli I've had those feelings too. Totally agree with Lucy in that it's helpful to write down how you're feeling so you can refer to it in future. I also liked the idea from PinkPop re. never revisiting the decision to stop. Know that how you feel now is the truth about drinking, whereas the little voice that may well pipe up in a few days is not the truth but will be the addicted part of you.

Some fantastic advice and links here, I'm bookmarking like crazy so thanks all!! I totally get the shame feeling and I also suffer from anxiety and mild depression.....but only when hungover. Cauli again like other newbies here today such as myself, your story sounds similar to mine.... I decided on Monday that I wasn't going to beat myself up anymore because it just makes me feel worse. I've accepted myself for who I really am and that is not a shit faced, pissed up middle aged woman who falls over and really hurts herself sometimes...it's just not. What I am is a very kind,loyal, compassionate, empathetic loving and giving mum, wife and friend? So I've decided to show myself some compassion and kindness. Please be kind to yourselves and remember that you are strong, we all are and have proved that by joining this thread and admitting that we think we have a problem......that is brave and super strong xx

Yes thanks everyone.

b Hurricane
that's how I need to frame how I see myself. I'm quite an anxious person and I know I use drink to relax even though it always backfires. I want to be a role model for my daughters, not an embarrassment.

Day One - tick
Safely tucked up in bed with hot chocolate and biscuits. Busy day at work tomorrow. Hoping I'll sleep ok - clear head needed!
Hear, hear to the advice, links and tips. Many, many thanks. And good luck to the other newcomers (and regulars) too.

Hear hear! :)

Well done spinach I found getting to 9pm was a good focus in the very beginning. After that its a lot easier

Good stuff Spinach, hope you're feeling ok. Day one done here too and I'm tucked up in bed with dd who couldn't settle. Tomorrow we have a family day out planned that I hope to enjoy with a clear head.

Good evening everyone. Just back from AA. It's so inspirational and I feel so much more positive about the future listening to other people's stories. I absolutely could not do this by myself and even though I still haven't said "I am an alcoholic" out loud yet, I know that if I hadn't been tonight, id be tucking into the wine just like any other day. But it's given me the strength to say "just for today I will not drink."

Hurricane am nodding vigorously at self care. I'd let that go - Ali G with gentle hobbies like reading and sewing. I was too nervy to do them any more, I just couldn't concentrate and would drink to settle my nerves and the wouldn't stop. I'm happy to report my concentration is slowly returning and I finally finished a sewing project I started ages ago. Small victories.

Lots of love everyone x

Well done to everyone for getting through yesterday.

Day 3 here. We've cancelled our plans for tonight so will just be home with the kids. DH has bought some fireworks and set up apple-bobbing (??) outside...I think he's a bit disappointed I didn't want to go to the party we'd been invited to so is throwing his own bless him. Thankfully I don't have a hangover this morning so am up baking a cake for it.

Happy New Years Eve all.... xx

Hello day two for me. :-)

I had the best sleep, I didn't need to get up in the middle of the night to have a wee, which I had attributed to approaching 50...but it was the wine, wasn't it. I can't remember the last time I had such a peaceful unbroken sleep.

Had an amazing dream about the mouse infestation at work turning into slugs with legs, which turned into very tiny hippopotamuses.

Cravings are there though, I have a weird taste in my mouth, which is very like the nicotine cravings I had when giving up smoking...but if I gave up smoking, I can give up drinking.

Long post alert.....but please forgive me, I am aware I am posting big long musings, thoughts etc, etc. It will stop, I promise but it has done me good being able to get everything down the last 24 hours or so, It's been like a detox of my frazzled mind. I truly promise this is the last long one

Well done to you all on your decision and not having a drink, whether it's one day or 500 days, or if you've started today
It's lovely to hear everyone's plans for the New Year. Spinach I hope you had a good sleep. cauli family day.......how lovely, enjoy it very much and I hope it stays dry if you are outdoors. lucy teapot and marry, thankyou for all your gentle encouragement to all us newbies....phase your NYE plans sound so much better than going to a party and DH will have a much better time doing that with all of you. As for me, I may not have had a drink (vat) since the early hours of Monday but that doesn't really count as anything special for me when you put it into context, because I've been back at work since Tuesday morning. I don't drink Monday to Thursday when I'm working anyhow so it hasn't been a chore, that's normal for me. However, I still truly believe that I won't drink at the gathering I'm going to at my neighbours tonight. They will think that's strange as they know me as a big drinker and have witnessed me falling over many times. However they both get really pissed too, so to avoid a conversation about it I've told them I'm on some medication that means I can't drink. If I told them I'd packed in drinking they would probably tell me that of course I don't have a problem and that everyone gets drunk and then proceed to force feed it down because it's NYE!! They are really lovely friends but they wouldn't get what I've decided to do, certainly not at this time of year. I will tell them soon when it crops up in conversation as they will notice when I don't start again and I will have no problem doing so. There are some people who will gossip behind my back about my "problem" but I genuinely don't care about that. My best piece of advice I was ever given is that apart from your kids and your partner and any other person who is important in your life or truly loves you and who you love........what other people think about you is none of your business. It's totally irrelevant and folk think rubbish about all sorts of things anyway.
That was the last long one, I promise, now off to work xx

....and it's not really 'giving up'anything is it, because I'm not losing something (except night-weeing) I'm getting good things in its place.

Snape that's fantastic!! Ooh, lovely, lovely sleep!! I gave up smoking too a few years ago and I feel the same, exactly the same as you xx

Have a good day hurricane. :-)

Hurricane thank you for sharing :) Snape it's ace isn't it? Off to work but back for the witching hour Stay strong sober warriors

Lovely sleep here too, feel nice, rested and normal today. I hope we can remember how good the positives are and how shit the negatives.

Tonight should be ok, I rarely stay up until the bells anyway and would usually have a bottle of wine and stagger off to bed when it was finished. Tonight I'll have some tonic water and lemon and go to bed when I'm tired. DH will be annoyed but then he always is when I go to bed early. He doesn't get the toll that 3 years of broken nights (thanks to dd2) has had on my energy levels.

Hope everyone has a good day and braces themselves for getting through this evening.

Good sleep is amazing Snape isn't it?

Snape, your dream about very tiny hippopotamuses made me laugh!

My sleep improved too. Also I found that I quickly reaped other physical benefits as well as sleep; my face looked better defined not grey and puffy, my hair got some shine back, my podgy tummy deflated itself somewhat . Etc etc.

Well, I must have had 5 hours of unbroken sleep (oh I know all about nocturnal wees!) so that's a result. Doubly glad I didn't hit the wine last night as I'll be driving to the GP surgery in a bit. Stupidly spilt boiling water on my foot at the weekend which I think may now be infected. Not booze induced by the way! Anyway, the nurse has a free appointment to see me and at least I can rock up guilt free :)
Have a good day everyone, really glad you've had a good night newbies.

Hello...
6 hours to go until my first dry NYE party begins.
While I'm really happy about my decision to stop drinking, it's the first time I'll be seeing my ( hard drinking) friends since I gave up in August.
I'm worried about the constant explaining I'll be doing, the continued ' oh go on, just a small one, its NYE', the enevitable spiked drinks that my friends will think is a hilarious joke and the fact that I think a couple of my friends who already know about me being dry, are eyeing me up as a sober driver for them.
Give me the strength to stay calm, happy and sober.
Good luck to everyone else that needs it tonight.

Thereshe well blimmin done on giving up since August!! How has it been and how do you feel?? I've got a couple of stupid so called friends btw who would do that...

Thereshegoes, that doesn't sound like a good party to be going to if you are
a). going to have to field endless questions about not drinking
b). at risk of having your drinks spiked
c). going to have to hang around until the bitter end to drive your pissed friends home.

All the best, and have a lovely time and all, but do you actually have to go to it??