DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Happy New Year and this is a nice thread to find. I woke up the other day with a hangover, couldn't remember our guests leaving, and the first thing I had to do was check social media to see that I hadn't posted any random drunken shit before crashing out.

That's NOT good. So I stopped. Had a dry New Year's Eve for the first time since, I kid you not, since I was twelve.

I don't have a problem not drinking, I have a problem not continuing to drink once I've had a couple. It's all the same thing really.

I've got fat, I've been sluggish, I've totally embarrassed myself in the past year through drink, and actually I need to save a bit of money too - so here goes.

Alastrante welcome you're in the right place. Again, yours sounds a similar story to mine and I do have a similar problem in never being able to get enough. I blackout too. I'm a newbie but one thing I do know that helps with most shit that happens in life is......Please be kind to yourself, what's done is done so give yourself a big hug, then forgive and take care of yourself. Stay on the thread and you'll do it xx

Despite my previous unhappiness at not staying Dry in 2015, I have worked out in 2015 I was dry for 300 out of 365 days. So it wasn't all bad. And well worth me keeping on trying :) With thanks to this thread :)

So, Day 19 here AF and finding listening to lovely Andrew Johnson Stop Drinking app has made not drinking so much easier :) I retire to bed and listen every night - if I feel a bit wobbly I listen to the longer version at x 9 therapeutic strength! Also have short version of his relaxation app for any wobbles during day or for sleepness nights :)

have downloaded a tracker app as well and signed up to DJ again. It all helps me keep focused on what I am doing - staying Dry :)

Over the past few weeks I have read through the previous threads and realised my drinking was not healthy. On xmas eve as I sat with a can in hand I just thought 'this has to stop' and poured remaining half a dozen cans down the sink. Its only been just over a week but find myself sleeping a solid 9 hours (must get out of this as am back to work /5.30 am get ups from Monday). Not felt too bad. One or two -should I- moments but these have passed pretty quickly. Do seem to be craving lots of crap food though. Oh well. Can't win them all. Will tackle eating when the 'drink-itch' subsides totally.

Im in bed already 😀

Yay Hadron and dun and alastrante and likea :) I am in pj's and watching tv with family :) They ate earlier - I hid upstairs listing to lovely Andrew :) About to eat my meal and then watch a film with them with fizzy water and popcorn - mixing up the routine works for me - a trigger is dinner together at the moment so I said I was not very hungry just now :)

Which they understood and so I went to "relax" and they ate their meal ( which contains stuff I can't eat anyway :) ) and now I am eating while we all relax. Soft drinks all round :)

Just to add I am gluten intolerant and they had food with loads of gluten in - so it all makes sense, honest! Now enjoying family and film and fizzy water with posh cordial in it ( rose and pomegranate :) )

Oh oh. I think I've hit choppy waters.

My husband drinks at his mate's pub. A lot. He won't have more than 4/5 pints tops when he's out but he goes out a lot - 5 nights in the last 7, which is admittedly more than usual but at least 2/3 nights a week. That leaves me sitting at home alone. And that's when I used to open the wine for company. And now I can't do that, there is one of the reasons I drank, in glorious technicolor.

I've spoken to him about it but he says it's his way to relax, and it's not about the booze, it's about catching up with his friends. But if he sees them so often there's nothing to catch up on.

We are like repelling magnets. And I wish I cared more.

Tricky but if he cared about you he'd agree to go less often and stay in and support you. Have you directly discussed it?

The draw of propping up the bar with some mundane mates is strong for some blokes, I know as it broke my last lt relationship as he clearly preferred that to me.

I meant discussed it about you quitting now?

Being at home bored on my own is a trigger. Can you go out yourself Marry? Clearly not the pub! Gym?

Evening everyone. Marry when you stop drinking you take away your numbing agent and it's not surprising when thoughts/realisations such as this come quickly to the fore. My situation was different but I definitely drank to help me cope with the fact (or stop me thinking about) that my marriage was not good and I wasn't happy. I stopped drinking a year after separation but fear I never would have been able to do it while we were together because I now realise I needed it far more than I ever realised at the time.

Are you saying that you think you drank at home to stop you thinking about the fact you weren't comfortable with the fact your DH spent so many nights out at the pub? You are right in that his explanation doesn't really add up - you don't need to meet in a pub to keep in touch with your friends and if you're meeting several times a week then that is particularly the case.

For where you are right now with your sobriety, my advice would be to breathe deeply and to keep things in the day and not feel like you need to fix everything right here and right now. It can be overwhelming, the realisation that 'things are not as we would like them to be'. There is plenty of time to sort things out - whether that be your husband's drinking, or the fact that you wish you cared more. For now focus on looking after yourself and on not drinking.

glad I listened to that Andrew Johnson hypnosis app every night for about the first month and really really liked it. His voice is just perfect.

Lucy really great to hear you talk about how much has changed for the better in the past 800something days. Uber sober warrior

Hurricane I loved the image of you at the top of the peak on NYD; so symbolic. What an incredible start to the year.

Cauliflowercheese yes we have discussed it but to no avail. He's a creature of habit, this is his habit.

Hadron21 no I can't get out as one of us needs to stay home with the children. If I was doing something else then he would stay in. He even asked that I get back from AA sharpish this week so he could have a few late pints. I pointed out the irony of this.

TeapotDictator. I drank at home because I was bored and lonely. It relaxes me and passed the time. You're probably right, there's plenty of time to address issues like this, but how do you know when it's time?
Am breathing, and sipping my elderflower pressé. I'm glad I poured everything away last night, as the temptation might have been too much. If I was wondering what my triggers were, I think first one is the state of my marriage.

How do you know when it's time?

I'm not sure if I'm right, but there is a saying I believe in AA not to make any major life decisions in the first year of sobriety. I'm not sure I agree with this but I do think that when you take the drink away, you can feel flooded with realisations re everything that's wrong in our world. To address it can threaten the sobriety which allowed you to have the realisation in the first place. That's the idea at least.

So I don't think there is any set time other than not trying to do anything that will cause you such stress that you don't feel your sobriety can take it; until such a time you think your sobriety can take it.

I also drank (both before and after separation) because I had young kids and it was hard to get out and it enabled me to feel as though I was still having something of a 'social life'; something that was for me.

You're doing an amazing thing right now

I agree with what Teapot says about being wary about any big decisions early on in sobriety. All those feelings can be overwhelming - and nothing needs to be sorted with immediately. Compared to getting sober, all other decisions can just get in line. Not saying you won't have to make them, just give yourself a chance to really get comfortable being sober first

Happy new year everyone!

So, I drank over the festive period but now I am SO glad it's January!! Can't wait to feel better!

Keep posting, you are all very inspirational!

Hi all

First time poster here but I've been lurking on here for a few months. I just wanted to pop in and say a big thank you to all the posters. I am not even a mum but came across the thread when searching for something. Following the discussions on here has really helped in my sober journey. I gave up alcohol on the 8th November and so far I am still doing ok though it is still early days and a struggle at times. I really don't think I would have been able to give up without having read the experience and wisdom of others on here. So thank you to all and I wish everyone the very best for 2016

Thanks all - I've had no problems at all so far, I don't want a drink - but I've just got my period and a cold starting and so have been feeling sleepy. I know in a week I'll most likely get to X o'clock and start wondering if I can have a drink, just one...

It is interesting reading about triggers (and Marryoneorbecomeone) because I do know a couple of my triggers and actually have been working on them since I really got plastered at a works thing last year - predictably enough, being out of my depth socially is one of them. So I've managed to rein it in when I'm socialising and even have soft drinks and/or loads of water. But I know that none is better for me, it just is.

Does anyone have a habit set up for when they crave a glass? An activity that takes your mind off it? Or how do you get through the cravings?

Alastrante I crochet, do jigsaw puzzles, colouring in books, mindfulness apps, read Alan Carr/Jason Vale books and meditate. I also read a lot and if its daylight I go out and check on my chickens and other animals. Or dig the garden. Trouble is, its harder this time of year to do that ( its a swamp at the moment!)

Alastrante I've had more early evening baths than I care to count! I think if I'm in the bath I can't drink.

I've downloaded the apps for counting days and the Andrew (cabt remember his name) ones. Does anyone have any idea how I hide them on my iPad? The kids use it and everyone has access to it and I want to keep them secret.

How's everyone doing? I hardly know what day it is.

Hello all and happy new year everyone. I haven't checked in for a while mainly due to a horrible virus rather than not being 'dry'. Its no secret I drank over Christmas but fortunately the virus put paid to any temptation on NYE even though I managed to get out on the night itself I couldn't actually drink and OH didn't drink either.
It was the best NYE I've ever had despite not feeling too clever. I've had some horrendous ones where I have blacked out, argued (former partner) cried at being single etc etc. Alcohol and unrealistic expectations are not a good mix.
I'm reading on FB about friends who are finding DRY January difficult. Some have already failed (their words)
I actually found drinking difficult. I couldn't wait for DRY January to start.
I'm very happy to not be drinking (I've still clearly got a lot of work to do as my head hasn't quite got it or I wouldn't have drunk at Christmas)
A big hello to all the newcomers. My advice fwiw is that the first few weeks were really quite tricky. The first few days especially so.
Just keep posting. And bathing take a nap. Whatever it takes.
Trust me it get so much easier it really does. When I think back now to my early days I am amazed at how comfortable I feel in the evening now without a drink.
My life has changed beyond recognition in only 8 weeks.
As I mentioned I am still not 'there' but I do want to live a life AF. I consider myself extremely lucky not to have slipped further down the slope by having drinks over Christmas.

Hi everyone. :)

I recently taught myself to knit using youtube and that keeps my hands busy when i want a drink. I am so pleased with myself, and now have nearly finished my first ever scarf. It is also relaxing. Like meditation.

Am reading but not posting much as things are a bit overwhelming right now. But love to read all your posts and welcome - BIG welcome- to newbies and lurkers. :)

So, tomorrow will be Day One - again.
In the scheme of things I've done well - only one glass this evening. But I'm so disappointed in myself. I didn't even enjoy it while I was drinking it!
Ho hum.

I have tonight actually been researching where I could go to AA meetings every day locally, if I wanted to. I now have a programme of them for 6 out of 7 nights :) Also have joined a gym with yoga and swimming ( things I love the most) as well as loads of other stuff 2 miles away so a bike ride to it and back!!!

• which I am paying for with the money I have saved not drinking :)