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Original poster

any other alternative mums out there?

254 replies

madamez · 11/12/2006 00:41

Having lived a very non-mainstream life, I'm finding it hard to live in Straightworld. Anyone else out there feeling totally bemused once the playgroup chat moves away from weaning & nappies? Or is this just the general alienation everyone feels once DCs start forging their own way forward?

OP posts:
PinkTinsel · 11/12/2006 00:43

snap..... try turning up with piercings, the looks you get are unbelievable.

and i'm sure grannies on the bus think i've stolen the babies from someone!

don't know how to talk to other moms at all!

DetentionGrrrl · 11/12/2006 08:19

My tattoos always get a 'look', more so now i'm a mother i think. Am currently working on a half sleeve- my last tattoo. And this time i mean it!

I generally find other people's conversations bemusing anyway!

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 11/12/2006 08:30

I tend to home in on the ones with piercings (Don't have any other than ears myself, but all my friends pre-baby were pierced etc and its where I feel comfortable)

StarrmumofRoyalBeautyBright · 11/12/2006 08:49

I'm not especially alternative, but I still found conversations at post natal groups often stultifying - it's lovely to wax lyrical about your children, but it was a very short time before I wanted to do/talk about other things!

With my first NCT group, I was the first to have my baby (first due date, and he was also 2.5 weeks early), so I was chomping at the bit probably sooner than many others. I realised that we knew nothing about each other beyond first names and what their babies were! So I suggested a mums' night out - and met with the immortal reply 'we don't do that kind of thing'!

So even though I have no piercings (beyond the very conventional single ear piercing!) or tattoos, I would be happy talking about anything - and hate being restricted/confined/defined as someone's mummy.

bctmum · 11/12/2006 08:59

Prefer to talk about something other than how my kids are doing (of course could talk forever about them!) I love to hear peoples stories and views on things.

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 09:09

My dd goes to a private school and started a new one in september, I have very short hair and tattoos, (not as many as I would like, but we are getting there!) and I wear a lot of Vivienne Westwood so I suppose I stick out a little bit compared to the others! When I went to the xmas concert last week the amount of mums who walked past the free seat next to me to find another one (in a more awkward place)was unbelievable! I love it in the summer when I can wear more revealing clothes and scare them. Of course if they actually spoke to me they would realise I'm actually rather well spoken! My dd thinks I'm cool tho, so that makes me happy!

lulumama · 11/12/2006 09:12

why not set up your own mum & baby group? with similarly thinking women!?!

help run and mum & baby group...but i think have been lucky in that we all go to NOT talk about the children !!

having been a bit of a hippy/ indie nose ring, hennad hair, tie dye sort of girl in my youth......i am sometimes amazed at the bog standardness of my life now !! but hey !

why not post a thread here on meet ups, for your area ?? might get to meet people you are more in tune with ?

bctmum · 11/12/2006 09:16

Hi lulu - Funny how life turns out!!

GMonkey - respect to you on wearing V. Westwood

lulumama · 11/12/2006 09:20

Hi BCT - i know... hope my kids will be a bit alternative !!! then i can relive my youth vicariously through them !!

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 09:28

Thank you bct. I am a little addicted, better than drugs tho, eh?! It's amazing how many of us turn in proper 'mums' when the cord is cut. I love my kids, I would do anything for them, but I am a real person too, not just a mummy. I think providing a more balanced example is great, I want my kids to feel they can be a litle more leftfield too. At the end of the day, our kids will grow into adults and do things that we don't want them to do (sex, smoke, drink, drugs etc) but I want my kids to be able to talk to me about all of those things not feel like they have to hide. Being slightly alternative, if you like, means you don't have those blinkers on that the 'I live for my kids' mums seem to have.

sunnywong · 11/12/2006 09:31

I live for my kids and I could probably out alternate a few of you and I have no piercings or tatts.

Would I be allowed in the clique. I mean Group?

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 09:33

cult actually! of course you can enter!!!!! Just share your alternate crudentials with us

sunnywong · 11/12/2006 09:34

wow
well you better give me some boxes to check and I 'll see if I'm worthy

I do have 4 tits, does that count?

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 09:36

Fabulous, i think you are our leader!

DetentionGrrrl · 11/12/2006 09:41

I've never been in a clique before...i feel so special!

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 09:44

me neither, ooh, it's so exciting!

DetentionGrrrl · 11/12/2006 09:50

we should get tshirts made or something.

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 09:56

we could get tats, grrl, i'll get a biro and a paperclip and do you and you could do me! On our necks, oooh I am so excited now I nearly weed myself!

dizietsma · 11/12/2006 10:09

Punkymoms forum.

It may be mostly American, but when I've had enough of the mostly middle-class, middle-of-the-road mothering monoculture (please excuse my excessive and unnecessary allitertaion)I go here. You have to register before you can see the rest of the boards.

arfishyheauheauheau · 11/12/2006 10:32

Hello Suzy, fancy seeing you here

Well, I'm not normal but I don't think I'm as alternative as you lot. Just not normal. I tried to be conventional for a long time but just failed miserably.

Certain types of 'unconvential' are actually quite conventional now though aren't they? It's like all the punks and goths - they're alternative but all conforming - to their own types. Not truly alternative. This really confuses me. This is not to the point at all, but it's been puzzling me for ages.

I love the Viven Westwood. Oh PLEASE volunteer for the PTA. It'd be smelling salts at dawn.

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 10:50

I did a xmas fair at dd's pre prep, there's another mum there who was considered weird too - we were referred to as the weird mums! Charming! I think I'm pretty normal, but the looks I get tell otherwise (and I'm not even THAT weird, I just like slightly diff clothes and hav tats). To be honest, the really normal mums scare the shit out of me - they are too nice, too normal and too clean! I bet their hubbies dream of blow jobs!!!!!!

DetentionGrrrl · 11/12/2006 11:36

Yes, nice homemade prison style tats. And when we meet, we will know each other by the 'sign'

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 12:47

what's the half sleeve of? I started with mine but gave up because I'm a wet blanket! I think I'll add to it as time goes by, but I need to find another tattooist that I like, mine has disappeared somewhere!

DetentionGrrrl · 11/12/2006 13:05

It's oriental themed- cherry blossom, a dragon, waves, the symbol for 'family'. Most of outline is done, needs colouring in now.

gingermonkey · 11/12/2006 13:09

Very nice. Mine are oriental too, cherry blossom and a finch sat on a branch on my belly and peonies and a butterfly on my upper arm (that's the one I am going to add to, if I ever get round to it!). Oh, I have 3 stars on my wrist - one each for dd, ds and dh. Soppy git! x