any other alternative mums out there?

[madamez]

Having lived a very non-mainstream life, I'm finding it hard to live in Straightworld. Anyone else out there feeling totally bemused once the playgroup chat moves away from weaning & nappies? Or is this just the general alienation everyone feels once DCs start forging their own way forward?

But the mums in question were not doing any harm, stereotypes or non stereotypes, don't we all know that sometimes its difficult finding people we click with. on this thread they were having convos with others they preceived as 'like them' why the need to challenge them for little reason?

Greensleaves you think my post rude, really?

Ah. Well i live for mine...does that mean...shock horror...that i'm NOT alternative afterall? Damn, i was so enjoying being part of a subculture.

well the original postees didn't answer when i joined them for a chat

Very varied tats Persephonesnape!

Nor me when I wished them merry christmas.

Sorry quad - i find comments like "really normal mums scare the shit out of me - they are too nice, too normal and too clean! I bet their hubbies dream of blow jobs!!!!!! " really crass and offensive - on many levels.

Persephone - that was a really lovely post .

'So if you don't have tattoos, you do have fake tan, false nails and boob implants?

no, of course not. don't try to take one small sentence out of context in order to belittle the rest of the post. my argument is that other forms of body modification are seen as acceptable because they conform to a traditional form of beauty - not that being tattooed is more or less beautiful than those traditional ideals, and not that people are stupid because they try to conform to what is seen as mainstream pretty.

I wasn't belittling your post, I was seeking clarification.

Well I'm sorry - I may not have tattoos and piercings, but surely I win the alternative mum of the year award by having a female partner?! It's always such good fun explaining our family set up to anyone who doesn't know me - I mean, I'm so normal looking...

alright then dotty, you can be our leader!

the concept of declaring alternative credentials on mn is quite fascinating as of course it does depend on how heavily you normally rely on your appearance to identify yourself.

it breaks down the barriers which are up normally doesn't it (unless of course you are keen to reinstate them)

sigh.

this thread.

sigh sigh sigh.

and mostly i mean those mums piling in defending the normal position.

'normal' doesn't need defending. majority rights don't need defending.

they don't.

I quite regularly get comments from people who I've got to know through work, who now know me quite well, along the lines of "but you just don't look like a lesbian"... To which I usually say "what makes you think I'm a lesbian?" - usually confuses them. It messes with their heads that I've got long hair, wear make up and skirts - I'm clearly breaking the lesbian style rules...

sorry Sophable I was drawn to this thread and couldn't resist!

are there rights involved in identifying yourself as an alternative mummy ..that's a bit ott

alternative covers a big range

dotty I think you hit the nail on the head there with whether alternative is a dress code or something considerably more complex

It's all subjective isn't it. In all seriousness, I see myself and my family as being utterly normal. We have an ordinary set up, 2 parents, one works, one doesn't, two kids, average income, average house. We do ordinary things etc.etc.etc... I can go for long periods of time feeling very (happily) ordinary/normal indeed. It's only when someone else comments on the 2 mums thing, or when we hit a milestone like ds1 starting school, that I 'remember' we're actually quite different!

dotty, my post was not aimed at you....you are not normal!!!!

think you're right to raise the point about appearance being the least of it, but frankly, we all recognise the reactionary, slacks and pink shirt (possibly turned up collar) wearing 'normality' that the original poster was talking about.

don't we???

actually pink shirts and slacks aren't normal are they???

Totally agree Sophable.

ok

deep breath.

hope i haven't offended you.

in a predominantly hetero/oftentimes homophobic world...you are not normal.

is what i meant.

I wonder if there are any alternative mums on mumsnet

I doubt it

I wasn't defending normal.

I was pointing out that it wasn't very unjudgemental to make judgements on people based on their appearances - the irony of which had whooshed many of the self-proclaimed free spirits on this thread

sorry bahhunkbug. i have a stinking cold and I'm over-reacting on everything as I'm doped up to the eyes on lemsip.

you know us tattooed freaks and our drug intake :0 ;)

apologies again

Sophable - I don't think you've offended me, but I'll have to go away and think about it some more..!

We're back to the fact that you can't quantify normal and underneath the pink shirt/whatever there might be a raging deviant, whereas underneath the tattoos/piercings there might be a shy, nervous Mum etc.etc.

All too vague and subjective to pin down really.

sorry dotty, I was agreeing with Sophable's post of 9.42. I was too slow in typing.