any other alternative mums out there?

[madamez]

Having lived a very non-mainstream life, I'm finding it hard to live in Straightworld. Anyone else out there feeling totally bemused once the playgroup chat moves away from weaning & nappies? Or is this just the general alienation everyone feels once DCs start forging their own way forward?

At least your stars are subtle...i just went and got DP's name written down my spine instead!

ouch!!! they are addictive aren't they? once you have one you just keep on going! my mil and my mum hate them, but there's a difference between tasteful ones and the kind you see on the jeremy vine show!!!!!

Hi I a have just been reading this thread. I don't have piercing or tattoos. I wouldn't feel odd talking to someone who did. i would consider myself alternative. I am into art galleries, art house movies and poetry and I have only met one other mum who could relate. I find those mums who just talk about kids pretty boring. I thought I was the only one.

I think it takes more than kids to have something in common if you know what I mean. Anyway I find people who are a bit different more interesting. I am pretty openminded. It would be great to meet more people like that. I know what you mean. Do you ever feel like saying something really shocking just to get a reaction? I don't think I am that brave.

hey gingermonkey, I look really straight...but give great blowjobs.... can I join?

ooo. im dying to get more tats done too but am waiting til after i finish bf-ing in case of infection (see i am neurotically careful about my kids despite looking like a taottoed, pierced, gothic clothes wearing freak !

want to get ones for my kids.... a pixie for dd and a little goblin for ds. can't find designs i love enough though

I agree Goddess7, there is more to it than piercings/tattoos. Unless i'm dressed to go out, i look pretty 'straight' these days anyway...it's only my tats that give me away really. I find talking to people hard sometimes, because after the initial baby-talk, they dislike my taste in films, have never heard of my favourite bands etc.

goddess..... i often feel like dropping into the conversation what one of my jobs prekids was just to see how they react buti don't want to scare them off completly or dd will have no one to play with!

oh yes, i'm not that brave either! most conversations are based around what the little angels are up to and how well they are doing at ballet, tap, violin etc. You are expected to want to socialise with other mums because the kids are friendly, but I have only met about 2 other mums I like from school! My dd wanted to be a lap dancer when she was 3, saw one on the telly and thought it looked like fun (sparkly bikini, dancing - prob is!!!). I loved it when she went to school and told the teacher. She also went into a shop once and showed everyone her bits (it was my best friend working). I think it shocked everyone and they kind of thought, what do you expect from someone like that. I thought it was hilarious. She has realised now that a lap dancer is a bit rubbish, wants to be a photographer and artist instead. (she's 7)

Good lord! There's an awful lot of stereotypes and cliches here!!!

Dont judge a book by its cover, eh? However immaculate it may seem

Merry Christmas to you all.

Oh Gingermonkey. I found that so funny what your little one said. That is pretty cool that she wants to be an artist. I know what you mean - god those mum really bore me. I love alternative films and it would be great to meet more likeminded people.

ooh can I be counted in alt mum stats...? I have just strapped on my tatty purple DM boots with silver laces and am wearing a v old sonic youth tee under my mumsy jumper - on my way out but will check in later - find it easier to pretend to be fairly normal and share my music tastes and convos with my old friends and dh than try to include mum friends - the social chameleon!!!

I agree that people should not be judged by the way they look or dress but unfortunately if you don't 'fit in' there's a barrier to break down before you have even started. Most of my friends are very 'straight' if you want to label them, that doesn't mean they are boring same as because i dress like pete burns, or something, i am some kind of drug addled freak. tho i now have a picture in my head of how i look by that description and it's making me laugh quite a bit. each to their own, eh?

Ah Sonic Youth.

Must remember to play my DS more of my music...he seemed to like the Ramones when i was pregnant.

sonic youth, reminds me of my youth....and janes addiction. i need to get some of this on my ipod!

Are either good??!

celeb big brother. got upset coz he kept wearing my fave clothes and my friends kept texting me to take the piss. Got called a tranny for a while

DG, my young man is trying to persuade me to have a half sleeve done, as i want the tat on that arm reworked

he's in the process of having a half sleeve himself

might do the eye patch tho, annie, you've started a whole new possibility for me there! maybe i'll do the surgery too. i was v impressed by the way he walked in heels - i just clump along like a clumsy hippo. lack of practise, i guess...not practical with a 14mth old attached to your hip!

Yup, this is encouraging. Though I ought perhaps to add that it's not just looks for me (I look reasonably straight, just scruffy on the whole). For one thing, I'm a lot older than most of the other mums I meet round here and also I'm single by choice (which terrifies some of them, particularly the sort who have turned themselves from human being into domestic applicance and think I must be after their hubbies cos, after all, that's what every woman wants). But I do have a couple of tats and a black eyeliner pencil somewhere...

Quick, run, there's a husband thief on the loose, ha ha ha!

I think married mums get threatened by attract. single mums because they feel more vulnerable after having kids and more reliant on partner so it is more about them than you.

I am in thirties now so tend to dress less like an indie kid (no stripy tights/ army boots) but am def scruffy type. Would love to meet mums with same tastes as me but have realised that it is a bit like being back at primary school when you have kids - ie you make friends with the one next to you rather than seeking out like minds and a lot of friendships are built on convenience - or am i very cynical?

Anyway I have old mates to go to gigs with - well hopefully I will have the energy to do that again one day!!??! While I accept some compromises will be made for sake of children so they are not social outcasts... though ds will be only one in playgroup with a Nick Cave tee (if he isn't then maybe i will have found a mum soulmate!!??)