I seem to have accidentally aquired a live-in boyfriend. What the hell do I do about it?

[whostheJohnsonnow]

In a nutshell...

I live in London, and have a flat that comes as part of my second (voluntary) job.

My boyfriend has just been offered a temporary job in the city. He normally lives with a family member in a neighbouring county. My issue is this: He has put my address as the address he lives at ( with my knowledge) as he was struggling to find employment in his own area. Trouble is he now seems to think that it is fine to stay at mine to save himself travelling everyday. I love him, but I also love my own space. I don't want to upset him, but I also seem to have gained a live in partner without asking. What do I do?

He also wears your clothes! I have a rule to never be with a man who can actually fit in my pants. I'm the only one wearing those pants in this family!

He is taking advantage of you and you need to stand up to him.

yeah Jessica, they'll bury us all.......

Alright then, my houseguests are young. They have NO IDEA that things like water and electricity don't come free. They think of it as breathing.

I'm not excusing him. You're either going to have to sit him down with utilities bills in don't of you, receipts for house expenses etc or your going to have to chuck him out so he finds out on his own that this stuff isn't FREE.

(Story for the caps. This stuff just winds me up. Money is time, it's your life!)

But you're not going to do that bcs you're too embarrassed. Gah!

He hasn't been living here FT since April though. Just staying quite a lot of nights. The key thing is very recent. I honestly hadn't considered the council tax thing issue, so will definitely have to speak to him about that.

Well, my clothes are pretty tight on him, so it's not too bad. He's pretty tiny though; unfortunately for my jogging bottoms.

And 'lose' your keys so u need your spare ones back.

That timer is just an egg timer, though. He wouldn't take a blind bit of notice of that.

It was interesting that you said he used to be a stoner but rarely smokes it now. Everything you've said about him on your threads suggests he's a stoner in his heart, if not in actuality. The biggest giveaway was when he was fired for looking half-asleep at work.

My dd is that age and on benefits currently but still pays me rent. And wouldn't dare spend that long in the shower! We call our house 'Frugal' as that's our favourite word! He needs to learn some house rules and pay up!

The timer thing is making a point!

The egg timer is for op, when it goes off she turns on the hot water in the kitchen.

A stoner at heart? Perhaps Imperial. I honestly don't know. The thing is that he does actually try in his own way. He just seems to always misfire a bit somehow.

I will feel horrible having a go at him after his first day on a new job. This whole situation is making me deeply unhappy.

Foofoo I like your style!

He's never going to contribute is he op? He hasn't grown up yet or learnt to support himself. Well he hasnt had to and he still doesn't have to as he's got you supporting him. Yes he's downright lazy and selfish.

Tell him he needs a dbs check in order to stay over and has to move out until that's come through.

And then bin him.

You don't love him. You are walking on eggshells. He isn't a partner or an equal, he is a leech. It's not your responsibility to tip toe around him! So fucking what if it is his first day in a job. Normal adults don't need to have their lives totally facilitated in order to get them to do really fucking basic things like going to work! Honestly! He gives me the rage!

I actually hope this is a wind up. OP - he is using you. Big time. Don't you think you deserve a partner who cares who you, chips in like a responsible adult would? Better still wants the best for you and pays his way? Treats you occasionally? It sounds like you have a strong work ethic, between both your paid and voluntary roles. You deserve way way better than this guy.

Look, he doesn't try. In other threads you've told us that he said he didn't want to work. You also told us that he sleeps all the bloody time while you go out and do two jobs!

You don't sound you want him to be your boyfriend and live elsewhere.

You sound like you'd enjoy your life more if he wasn't your boyfriend at all.

It's not a wind up sadly.

I've never had a partner like that. Not in all my years on this planet. I would love to have one. It honestly feels like the impossible dream sometime.

I am really bloody hardworking. I left the house at 8.30am this morning, and I won't get in until 11pm.

TAKE BACK YOUR KEY.

The go on holiday. For a month.

Or just bin him off. He sounds crap.

Oh god. His dreams have come true!

You're working like a dog, he's surfing over your back

Take back you key, take back your life.

It's grest that you found out what he's really like without having made a commitment to him.

You deserve better than this loser tbh. Better than all the other losers too. Do you think maybe it's time to be single for a bit and work out why you've ended up feeling you don't deserve a proper relationship?

I empathise. I also have a penchant for losers and end up mothering people who are using me to avoid real life. Living on my own now has been absolutely brilliant though!

Oh dear, I hope you come to your senses OP?

He's a cocklodger.