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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner wants me to get stoned. wwyd?

185 replies

marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:37

My fb has made no secret of the fact he enjoys getting stoned once in a while. I make no judgement about this, each to their own. I have never touched drugs or anything ever, not once. I don't smoke & barely drink. Last night he was telling me how good it feels & said 'I bet you'd be incredible stoned' Hmm (meaning for sex obviously). My question is this: wwyd? I'm interested to hear your opinions. I was brought up to avoid all that stuff but should I give it a go once, for the experience? Or is it a really stupid juvenile thing to do? My personal thought is I'd rather be 'present' for good sex & not pissed out of my mind. I'm really naive here.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 06/09/2015 08:39

Never be pressured in to doing things you don't want to.

pinkyredrose · 06/09/2015 08:40

Well its up to you if you want to try it, whys he so keen though? Is it because he thinks it's great and wants you to see what's so great too? I think it depends how long you've known him and whether you trust him.

TheStoic · 06/09/2015 08:42

This is not something that anyone else can answer for you.

Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 08:44

He has a completely different lifestyle than yours.

Essentially he is now trying to enforce his lifestyle onto you.

You have a choice. You can of course start taking drugs.

Or my chosen option would be to run like the wind.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 06/09/2015 08:44

And he's how old? If you don't want to do something, you don't. (And noticed he is fb rather than dp. You know you are more likely to forget condoms when pissed or stoned?)

Oysterbabe · 06/09/2015 08:45

Give it a try if you want to. Personally I never really liked it, just makes me dizzy and sleepy.

I'd be wary if it's something he does often, stoners are so tedious and also reluctant to stop. I knew I'd never settle down with my ex for example as I'd never get him to stop smoking and wouldn't bring a child into that environment.

Charis1 · 06/09/2015 08:45

get rid of the idiot.

Most cannabis grown in this country is grown by slave labour, by trafficked teenage boys, while their sisters are forced into sex work.

oh yes, well worth it so some moronic inadequate can plan to have "incredible" sex.

he'd be out the door on his ear round here

marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:45

There is no pressure whatsoever. Has anyone else done it? Was it worth it or a complete waste of time?

OP posts:
akaWisey · 06/09/2015 08:48

WWID?

Tell him to fuck the fuck off. You're incredible as you are, OP.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/09/2015 08:48

If you have any doubts at all then do not do this. Do not let someone else potentially coerce you into doing something you seem very uncomfortable anyway about doing; do not any person such power over you.

And you are together at all because...?. Is he a lot older than you?.

marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:49

I think he thinks I'd enjoy it HmmConfused

OP posts:
marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:50

He's 4yrs older

OP posts:
00100001 · 06/09/2015 08:50

Tbh, the moment I found out he gets stoned, it would have been the end of it

marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:52

Let me be clear, there is absolutely no pressure or coercion going on. It was a suggestion. But it was left as that.

OP posts:
Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 08:52

Sounds like you hold an opinion but have no real conviction behind it.

Can I suggest you look into the well documented dangers of cannabis smoking and skunk. Lead Betts dads did a fantastic anti drugs talk when I was at school. I wonder if you can get hold of any of his material now

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/09/2015 08:53

He is putting pressure on you; there is not no pressure whatsoever.

Do you really want to be with a stoner at all?.

Are your boundaries when it comes to relationships really set too low?.

Moojay · 06/09/2015 08:53

I think there is some degree of pressure here actually OP. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking on here, you'd of just said No to him. Because its quite clear this isn't something you want to do.
I have in the past smoked weed, with a partner. At the risk of being crude, yes sometimes it can lead to great sex. But often it can lead to really bad, frustrating sex with a bloke that won't think twice about getting irate about the situation and taking it out on you or vice versa.
Of course, this behaviour is excusable because you were under the influence of drugs

Don't be dragged down by someone for the sake of a potentially good shag. Seriously.

Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 08:54

Yes getting stoned is more than enough to ltb. Cannabis psychosis is something I would rather not ever deal with it is not pretty from the inside or out

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 06/09/2015 08:55

I wouldn't do it, but I'm not you. We can't answer this for you.
I wouldn't be with anyone who got stoned in the first place.

Salmiak · 06/09/2015 08:55

I've tried getting stoned twice. It gives me a headache and makes me feel sick.

I'd run a mile if anyone I was sleeping with suggested I needed to take drugs in order to be "incredible" in bed. Way to erode your confidence - basically he's a selfish twat who's saying he'd like you to take something illegal for his sexual gratification. It's not about you, and what you would get out of it - it's all about him. Run. Run and dump.

WishIWasWonderwoman · 06/09/2015 08:55

I wouldn't.

If you don't indulge yourself then you will have a very low tolerance and getting stoned in a situation that is expected to lead to sex leaves you very vulnerable.

Also if it wasn't for his request for you to get stoned would you have considered it?

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 06/09/2015 08:56

I have. Does Nowt for my sex life as all I want to do is burble inane shite, eat something and go to sleep.
And Yy to the tedious stoner image.
beware anyone saying "if you do x then sex will be incredible,"would indicate to me that he means "I'm finding sex with you dull"

marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:56

Thanks Toffee, this is what I need to hear because I'm really naive here.

OP posts:
Playdead · 06/09/2015 08:58

WWID? LTB and I am not bring glib.

It could be harmless OP but it could be a slippery slope for you. Also he is getting stoned once a week, who knows what the situation will be in 6 months or a year.

Andcake · 06/09/2015 08:59

Did it quite a bit when I was younger - didn't make me feel sexy but enjoyed it - but the I'm a bit of a hedonist.
Don't be pressured into it but if you fancy it as a one off give it ago just make sure you are somewhere you feel comfortable. Ideally your home not his and don't make a habit of it!