Partner wants me to get stoned. wwyd?

[marmaladenbacon]

My fb has made no secret of the fact he enjoys getting stoned once in a while. I make no judgement about this, each to their own. I have never touched drugs or anything ever, not once. I don't smoke & barely drink. Last night he was telling me how good it feels & said 'I bet you'd be incredible stoned' (meaning for sex obviously). My question is this: wwyd? I'm interested to hear your opinions. I was brought up to avoid all that stuff but should I give it a go once, for the experience? Or is it a really stupid juvenile thing to do? My personal thought is I'd rather be 'present' for good sex & not pissed out of my mind. I'm really naive here.

It's such a dangerous, life-wrecking, society-corrupting drug that Durham Constabulary recently declared that those who grow it for their own consumption will no longer be targeted by the police.

CoteDAzur, Legalising something is not an endorsement of its safety. Alcohol is perfectly legal and causes so much more damage than marijuana. However I have a SIL who is addicted to marijuana and a best friend whose teenage son is addicted to marijuana. I used to smoke it and never got addicted but at this stage I would never recommend that someone try it for recreational purposes. We shouldn't play with addictive substances.

My understanding is that the addiction and harm can be a problem if cannabis use starts while the brain is still developing. It would be an improvement over the current system if sale of cannabis was legalised, regulated, and prohibited to young people under the age of 20, for example.

"Alcohol is perfectly legal and causes so much more damage than marijuana... I would never recommend that someone try it for recreational purposes. We shouldn't play with addictive substances."

Do you not see the contradiction in those statements? Alcohol is harmful in large doses and addictive for many people but so many more manage to enjoy it occasionally or often but in moderation, without ever suffering ill consequences or getting addicted. Would you "never recommend that someone try it for recreational purposes"?

To each their own, but there are glaring double standards at play here. Alcohol is addictive and potentially very harmful but MNers don't have hissy fits and yell "LTB!" upon discovering that OP's lover occasionally has a glass of wine.

My understanding is that the addiction and harm can be a problem if cannabis use starts while the brain is still developing

well, your understanding isn't very good, the human brain continues developing until the late 20s, for a start, and what would be the use of banning it until you are 30? it is already banned for under 30s,

You really don't get it, do you?

It's banned for everybody, not only for under-30s. As substance that is less addictive and less harmful than alcohol and cigarettes, its blanket ban is not justifiable and it is widely ignored - more than 14 million people in the UK have used marijuana/cannabis. How many are addicts sleeping rough under bridges or have psychosis?

If you legalise it, you can standardise it & control its content. You can spread correct information about its effects and possible harm that can result with early & heavy use. You can ban its sale to young people.

As it stands now, cannabis is a drug that is mostly used by teenagers & young adults which is the exact outcome that you should be campaigning to prevent if you are so worried about the harm that can come from it.

British Drugs Survey 2014 is a very interesting read.

I'm seriously concerned by some of the comments on here.

Claims that cannabis is highly addictive and wrecks peoples lives are too broad brush simplified. I'd guess that a lot of us are parents, and one day we will need to have drug conversations with our kids, so telling them weed will wreck your life and is highly addictive will embarrass you and make your kids think you must be dumber than you look...

Honestly, do some reading about this, on drug addiction / the war on drugs / cannabis use. Quite clearly, prohibition is not working, never has, never will. Quite clearly, cannabis is less harmful than alcohol or tobacco.

Our kids know this, they see this frequently, they haven't seen anyones live get wrecked for ever, or see people crawling the walls with addiction cravings. The instant knee jerk that we've all been told for most of our lives, all drugs are bad! is crap peddled by the war on drug front, who are merely protecting their industry and income.

One can find extracts from Chasing The Scream online, or even buy the book online, and maybe learn something instead of simply going for the knee jerk.

It's Reefer madness!

The argument for or against the legalisation of cannabis really isn't the point. It's not actually legal and definitely not content controlled yet.

Seeing a 45year "casual" user end up hospitalised for psychosis was not pleasent. I'm deeply cynical of the it's not just cannabis its skunk. Besides which, unless you grow it yourself and have supervision over the whole production, you really don't know what you're smoking anyway

As i said this isn't an argument about the theoretical benefits or otherwise in the future. Op has the problem now

With hindsight, I wouldn't do it.
With hindsight, I'd have run for the hills.

In reality, I gave it a go, a really fair chance, weekends for several years. At which point it had become some sort of symbol for him and it was clear that if I just stopped he would take it as the beginning of the end of our relationship. I was really pleased that getting a dx of ms gave me the get out I needed.

OK, at first it was quite fun. I would be delighted at all sorts of fairly ordinary things, lots of minor annoyances made me laugh etc. By the time I finally got away from it, it merely made my brain fuzzy and sent me to sleep. And cost money we didn't have.

It saps motivation too. I know when dh doesn't have any he is far more active and engaged with us, is actually here iyswim. When he's got hold of some 'good' stuff, he's a waste of space really.

Oh God, the hysteria.

I think the question is: what do you want to do? When I read your OP, I don't hear someone being pressured into anything. I hear someone who is maybe interested in trying something new, but (understandably) a bit nervous about it.

If you don't want to do it, say no. There is absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with saying 'That's just not for me - not my bag, and not something I'm into'. End of. (This is what I tend to do).

But if you do feel like it'd be worth trying just once, then it is highly unlikely that it will do you any lasting harm. Most of the highly successful people I know have either taken drugs or continue to do so occasionally. It interferes with their lives no more than other friends who are down the pub once a week having a few pints. To suggest that this somehow constitutes a massive psychological or social problem is just a bit hysterical. Contrary to the some of the more eye-opening claims here, you are not going to emerge from smoking a single spliff homeless, under a bridge, 20 years older and wondering what happened to your life! It is also extremely unlikely to do you any lasting harm physiologically.

To suggest that this somehow constitutes a massive psychological or social problem is just a bit hysterical

The words of someone sitting in a smug little ivory tower, oblivious to the pain and suffering of teenage slaves in London, and oblivious to the devastation wrought on the lives and prospects of so many tens of thousands of our own teens, not to mention the damage being investigated on the children of dope smokers.

The single biggest social problem in London, without any doubt.

The damage is immense and far reaching, and we are all paying for it.

it isn't hysterical to point this out. This is what life is like on the ground.... If you smoke this, you are contributing to it all.

its from my own observation. Maybe I should say the biggest single social problem that i come across. Alcohol obviously causes problems too. But alcohol is a problem mostly for older age groups and I deal with children/teens/young adults/parents. Cannabis is a bigger problem here. And as for depression, yes, a huge problem, much of it cause by cannabis.

www.drinkdriving.org/news/drink-driving-laws/england-wales/new-uk-drug-driving-laws-limits-2015/

Drugs are certainly a far bigger problem on our roads nowadays than alcohol.

But I do think this is beside the point. The arguments for and against criminalisation are long, complex and mostly irrelevant to the Op's original issue

If the OP was tee total and her bf wanted her to have drunk sex. You would still be concerned.

yes, cannabis is implicated in far more traffic accidents then drink, and in far more accidents overall.

and in all the major social problems around us, homelessness, unemployment, educational underachievement, or dropping out, benefit dependency, lack of food security, SEN, gang crime, family break up, mental and physical health problem, cannabis contributes to all of these, very significantly.

all that is on top of the people trafficking and slavery which supports the industry.

I'm not posting misinformation, I am posting my own experience, and it is people who don't know what is going on, and label it "hysterical" that are obstructing anything being done to improve the situation.

The report also states that there is evidence to suggest that drug driving is a much bigger road safety problem than reported and may actually be a contributing factor in closer to 200 road deaths per year.

The point not being which is worse drink of drug

The point being if you had got to a certain point without a specific bad habit it makes no sense to suddenly take up a new one now because your bf thinks it would make you a better shag

I have my own thoughts on Marijuana but its not important - what is important is the simplistic view some express that blames one cause for all social problems - Really? Can we get more George W Bush than that?

If you want to try it, do it. If you don't want to, don't.

Don't do anything just because your partner wants you to.

From what you're saying he's just offered you some and not actually put any pressure on you to partake. Is that right?

It's possible he just wants to share a nice experience with you.

I was also brought up in a very sheltered, anti-drug environment. I'm very conventional and quiet and was always a 'good' girl. However, in my twenties, following a spiritual experience that happened to me, I did experiment with weed (and some other substances) and I really, really enjoyed those experiences and found them useful. This actually stands out as a golden period in my life.