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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner wants me to get stoned. wwyd?

185 replies

marmaladenbacon · 06/09/2015 08:37

My fb has made no secret of the fact he enjoys getting stoned once in a while. I make no judgement about this, each to their own. I have never touched drugs or anything ever, not once. I don't smoke & barely drink. Last night he was telling me how good it feels & said 'I bet you'd be incredible stoned' Hmm (meaning for sex obviously). My question is this: wwyd? I'm interested to hear your opinions. I was brought up to avoid all that stuff but should I give it a go once, for the experience? Or is it a really stupid juvenile thing to do? My personal thought is I'd rather be 'present' for good sex & not pissed out of my mind. I'm really naive here.

OP posts:
MissEeerie · 06/09/2015 10:28

I don't know anyone who has had great sex while being stoned. It sounds like he wants you unconcious.

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 10:30

i think treat it in much the same way that you would if you were teetotal and someone suggested you have a glass of wine to loosen up. If youve got no interest, then dont do it. If you are curious, then its only weed. Its not like hes trying to get you to smoke crack

CoteDAzur · 06/09/2015 10:33

Please calm down. You are going to give yourself a heart attack.

As I said earlier, I don't smoke and haven't even touched a Marlboro Light in 7+ years. However, I have smoked recreationally in the past and know what I'm talking about (unlike you).

Yes, it's not legal but neither is it persecuted unless you are a dealer. And I have no idea what you mean by "slave-based industry", since weed is a local product that is most likely grown in UK, or if imported, probably from a place where I t's decriminalized like Netherlands or Switzerland.

Not many slaves in either place, but no doubt this will not change your prejudiced and hilariously uninformed views.

Charis1 · 06/09/2015 10:34

You are totally ignorant if you think that coming from the UK means it hasn't been grown by slaves, for a start.

Charis1 · 06/09/2015 10:35

and yes, people are being prosecuted, and yes, lives are being destroyed by smoking it, and yes it is costing the country countless MILLIONS and yes, I know what I am talking about, I see it every day.

you, on the other hand seem to be living in an ivory tower.

CoteDAzur · 06/09/2015 10:38

Where in the UK are slaves used to grow weed, Charis? I'm curious.

OurBlanche · 06/09/2015 10:39

Oh Lord!

The pot round here is grow about 10 miles away, by 2 aging hippies. However, yet again, the hysterical sounding claims made by Charis are, in fact, based in truth.

www.theguardian.com/global-development/2015/may/23/vietnam-children-trafficking-nail-bar-cannabis

capricalia · 06/09/2015 10:40

I don't know anyone who has had great sex while being stoned

Me. Utterly fantastic sex Blush Don't do it anymore and it's the one thing I miss. On the flip side it's not worth the anxiety it can sometimes induce.

You don't want to, don't do it op. Simple.

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 10:41

grown by slaves. What bollocks.

Of course it probably happens here and there, but not the majority, by a long shot

usual · 06/09/2015 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurBlanche · 06/09/2015 10:45

That was my initial reaction, Branleuse. But I googled....

www.mrci.ie/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Summary-of-Trafficking-for-Forced-Labour-in-Cannabis-Production.

www.ecpat.org.uk/sites/default/files/understanding_trafficking_for_cannabis_cultivation.pdf

It seems to be a rapidly growing business.

CoteDAzur · 06/09/2015 10:46

That Guardian article says drug trade is one of many things those children were used for in the UK. The problem there is hardly the cannabis, which is very often locally grown and distributed. And it's decriminalized in more than one European country, so if it will be imported from anywhere it will be from those places, not from the other side of the world.

lorelei9 · 06/09/2015 10:47

Cote, pretty sure you can be prosecuted, it's gone back up to class B but a lottery as to whether or not police will bother.

I don't have any opinion or judgement on drug users btw.

OP, I see some red flags for you personally. You say yourself you're very naive. I can't help thinking there are people out there for whom a naive and easily biddable fuck buddy is the dream of their life. Fine if you find it amusing to be that biddable person, but if you don't, then I hope you are not naive in this set up.

I get your point that he was making a suggestion, but if you get any questioning over saying no, walk away.

OurBlanche · 06/09/2015 10:49

Cote, I didn't make any claims, other than the pot round here is locally grown and that what Charis said has some basis in truth.

Having looked a little further it seems that cannabis is one of the problems and is rapidly growing.... here, in the UK.

TheOriginalWinkly · 06/09/2015 10:52

I know from personal experience that a lot of Vietnamese people are trafficked into the UK and made to work in very dangerous conditions in cannabis factories. They are enslaved, they 'owe' traffickers vast sums of money that they are made to repay by 'working' in these places, and they cannot repay the money. As I said, recent personal experience.

DoreenLethal · 06/09/2015 10:52

'I bet you'd be incredible stoned' hmm (meaning for sex obviously).

When he said it it wasn't said like it was for his benefit, it was said like he thought I'd enjoy it.

No love - that would be 'I bet you'd FEEL incredible stoned'.

Yes you are naive, and you need to decide whether being sober with a stoner as your partner is really what you want in life. Personally, that's a no from me.

BaxterDawes · 06/09/2015 10:54

If you don't fancy it, don't do it. No biggy.

Wouldn't be a big deal for me, but we, and all our friends have managed to get to our 40s having a joint once or twice a year without anything remotely awful happening.

ohtheholidays · 06/09/2015 10:55

I'd tell him to go fuck himself! and then I'd leave for good!

Never done any drugs or smoked and neither has DH.

I had lots of friends that started on that at school,they all went onto much stronger stuff.One's still getting help now and she started on cannabis 27 years ago.

It's not worth it,it never is!

herecomesthsun · 06/09/2015 10:55

There is a small but significant risk of serious mental illness, a higher risk if the cannabis in question is skunk. It is also really bad for your lungs. Your choice, if you are comfortable with that.

BeaufortBelle · 06/09/2015 10:56

Deal breaker for me. Would have been over the minute he said it, but in reality as soon as I found out he took drugs at all.

herecomesthsun · 06/09/2015 10:57

more health info

Artioo · 06/09/2015 11:00

If you've never taken drugs, and you have no interest in taking drugs, then there's absolutely no point in taking drugs. Doing something "for the experience" is only a good reason if it's an experience you're interested in and want to have. There are millions of experiences in the world, we select which ones to have all the time. An experience has no inherent value just because it's an experience. Stick with your gut feeling.

Iusedtobeapenguin · 06/09/2015 11:11

Don't know the medical implications but personally I have never spent more than five seconds with a stoned person without being bored shitless, so for that reason alone I would ltb...

daiseehope · 06/09/2015 11:13

Lolol, oh the hysterical ltb! It's up to you it might not agree with you but it won't kill you and one go is not going to give you psychosis. If you are not into it, say no. If you hate smoking, dump him xx

daiseehope · 06/09/2015 11:14

Artico is talking sense x