Ex being sentenced today. I need some hand holding

[MsMarthaMay]

Long story short. My ex husband raped me numerous times during our relationship. I finally reported him last year. Last month he pleaded guilty to 2 counts of rape and 1 count of assault by penetration. He left it right to the last second to change his plea to guilty but I was so relieved I didn't have to go to court.
He is in court for sentencing today. I am a bit of a mess. I feel so shaky and scared. I know he's going to go to prison so I don't know what I'm scared of.
I have to phone witness care later and they will be able to find out his sentence.

And for anyone in similar circumstances that may be reading this thread.

You posting here is important for women in genera too.

general...

What a bastard he is. I'm glad he'll be locked away now.

It must be a really strange time for you now that it's all over. Could you and your DS plan a holiday together for something to look forward to?

You are very brave Martha & for you.
I am pleased justice has been done & I wish you peace for the future.

Lweji Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick but are you going through something similar?

It is a strange feeling. This whole thing has taken up so much of my headspace this past few years. I really do feel like I'll be able to move on now.

Glad you got such a great result, OP.

Please don't be alarmed if you have a lot of tears and sadness over the next little while. You have been (I imagine) running on adrenaline for the last few months/years, and the removal of that stress can actually be really shocking to your body and mind. Be really kind to yourself at this point and don't start thinking "What's wrong with me, he's been put away, I should be over this now?" It will take time for it all to sink in.

Hope you can do something nice for yourself today, and or tonight perhaps.

Thank you pocketsaviour. I'll remember that

I'm so glad he received a long sentence and the court has seen fit to give you legal protection for life, it doesn't always happen but it restores a bit of faith in the system when it does.

Be prepared to question whether you were dreaming...it may not seem real at times until it had chance to sink in.

That's a good result; so glad for you. You have been amazing going through all this. Now, you can start to really put it behind you and go forward.

The best revenge is a good life. Very cliched I know, but that doesn't make it untrue.

Hi, not for the same crime, though. And still has to go to court.

But there are lots of threads here on MN with women who have gone through the same or similar as you and I think it's important to see here a positive outcome. We'll probably be mentioning you for ages on those. :)

Brilliant news, I'm so happy for you!

Wonderful! Not only have you had justice, but other women will be protected from him in the future.

Oh op I am so pleased that he got a significant sentence.

I really hope that this helps you achieve some peace. you are an inspiration

So thrilled for you. Echoing pocketsaviour you need to keep an eye on your reactions now. Have you got a film or song or TV episode that will make you cry. Proper sobs, something like West Wing or Scrubs works for me. It's such a good release. Find something that works for you so you don't bottle it up. Take care of yourself.

Martha, I am so relieved for you and truly wish you nothing but the best for your future
I'll echo what others are saying about unexpected 'wobbles' in the future - just accept that you mind feel emotional and upset now that you can stop holding your breath. Totally normal and a healthy reaction, so don't worry.

Glad you feel pleased OP.

That's a decent result

So happy for you Martha. I've been following this thread & hoping for an outcome you were happy about. Xx

Oh OP well done. By reporting this and getting him convicted you have struck a blow for women everywhere. I'm proud of you (if I may say that).

I've been through something in the same vein, a less serious offence but involved a court case. As PPs have said, it can take a while to recover from this, even after the good news of a conviction and jail sentence. Look after yourself, let people look after you, do not expect yourself to be back to normal overnight. If you suddenly feel upset or panicky sometimes, that's OK and will pass but don't try to suppress it or "move on" straight away if you see what I mean. Take your time.

That's great news x

Thank you all of you. I suddenly felt exhausted this afternoon so had to have a bit of a sleep! I think it's taken it out of me.
They've put me in touch with probation so that'll I'll know when he's released. I have a plan to move away from this town though. We need a fresh start and by the time he's out we'll be far away.

Sounds like a good plan, with enough time for you to really think about where to go. Best if luck and well done.

Fantastic news, well done for hanging on in there

what was the extra info the Judge wanted? did you find out