If you get little or no affection in your marriage but do not want to leave

[Donotknowhownottomind]

what do you do ?

We are on holiday and the whole issue is really staring me in the face.

Literally h never touches me or when he does it is such an occurrence that I almost remember the date it happened.

Yet he is very touchy feely with the kids which highlights even more how much he doesn't touch me.

Night after night he will sleep in the same bed as me without touching me. Once in a blue moon he might initiate sex but mostly it's me - rarely though as the whole thing is a bit soul destroying. When that does happen it's mostly good.

We are now on holiday and have somehow ended up both sharing beds with the dc (who do not want to sleep in the same double bed) which has really really made me feel lonely! At least at home we are in the same bed (even though that is also very lonely - for their never to be an extended hand unless I do the extending).

I have told h how I feel many times. Have also posted about this before.

So if leaving is not an option, what do I do ?

I didn’t realise this was an old thread until I saw your update @Donotknowhownottomind. I came on today to post about my lonely relationship and found this. It seems a lot of people are in the same boat. I’m glad to hear you got out especially if things deteriorated.

I’m still unsure if I want to leave or if things can be fixed. I won’t hijack your thread with my own situation though, but it helped reading all of yours.

I had this and it was one of the things that drove me to leave. I was so hurt by it and I couldn't face the thought of it for the rest of my life.

I had the EA version of this. It was part of a more generalised pattern of him prioritising only him and treating me as nothing in the process. It was awful, it got worse over time. I remember a friend advising that if I left I might not have an easier life but at least it would be authentic. I have always remembered that, and she was right. If you are in this place please talk to someone about your situation ( here, women's aid or in RL).

I was in a long term marriage with no affection. We finally called it quits. We did not really love each other any more and it became like a business arrangement, running the family. I’m glad to be done with it.

I think 5LeafClover hit the nail on the head. Your life may be easier staying married, but it doesn’t feel authentic.