Help! My dad's gone missing

[Cheeseandwinegirl]

Hi all, I'm hoping someone can help.

My mum just called and said my dad has gone missing. He left home yesterday afternoon while she was out, he didn't take his phone or wallet but she has found the safe has been emptied which had around 1k in there.

She thinks he only took the clothes he is wearing, he took the car.

He hasn't turned up today and I'm trying to help her with what to do.

I've told her to go through his Internet history and his phone, also check if anything else is missing at home and keep an eye on the bank accounts - she sorts all banking.

If that comes up with nothing I've advised her to call his best friend (lives about 50 miles away so can't pop in).

My dad is 62 in good health with as far as I'm aware bo financial worries, mum said he had been able moody of late but nothing out of the ordinary as it's harvest time, it's also just a moody sod at the best of times!

Is there anything else I've missed or anything else we can do? I've said to inform the police if he isn't back in 24 hours.

Oh dear OP - how worrying.
I'd call the police and check that the car hasn't been reported as having an accident.
Does she know how to check internet history / phone?

Has he ever gone missing before? If not, I don't think I'd wait to contact the police - an alert for the car wouldn't do any harm?

I'd be phoning the local hospitals, the police, friends and family.

Check bank accounts, Internet history and paperwork.

Hope it's all innocent and resolved ASAP.

Has he taken his passport?

Hi venetia - yes she does. She's gone through and checked and nothing has come up. She's made a call to a couple of friends and they haven't heard from him.

She said the other day they had an argument where she said he was to controlling, I'm wondering if this is maybe him throwing a hissy fit and buggering off for a day or two. He's had form for going off on long drives for a day but he's never gone away overnight. It also looks like he deliberately didn't take his phone and wallet because he's left them on the kitchen counter, he would have to physically take them out and leave them there.

She's going to call the police at lunchtime as that's roughly when he went missing. He also didn't take his passport so I would think there is no way he can get cash out

My mum doesn't want to call hospitals, would it be worth me calling hospitals? I'm 300 miles away so can't do much else but try and call people!

I would call the police.

You don't have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing. This charity can help if you want to talk it through:

www.missingpeople.org.uk/how-we-can-help/families-and-friends/reporting-a-missing-person.html

Hope you have good news soon.

Thank you for the link. I did advise mum to call the police asap but she wants to wait. He's in a car with a very unique numberplate so someone could easily spot it! I'm trying to support her over the phone the best that I can, I can hear that she doesn't really know what to do so I'm trying to get her to take steps without sounding panicked or forceful.

I'm sure it will be OK although I'm so angry at him for doing this. I'm off work this week (due to start new job on Monday) so I can drive up if she needs.

I would call the police too, he might be unwell. :(

I would call the local hospitals in your shoes. And the police too, but it's tricky if your mum doesn't want to.

So he has no way of being contacted? But he does have cash and a car? Is that right? Do you know where his passport is?

Keeping my fingers crossed here for you!

Hope he turns up soon.

If he emptied the safe of cash then he wouldn't need to use his cards for anything.

You mentioned the harvest - is he a farmer? Is his absence likely to have an economic impact on him and your mum?

You can certainly call round hospitals if you wish - you just need his address and DOB, ask for the admissions dept and they will check for you.

My gut feeling from what you've said is that he's got horribly stressed and done a flit to pay your mum back for the argument. I hope that's all it is.

Your mum is dad's next of kin. She should report him missing, he may be considered low priority. Are you sure she has no idea?

Hi pocket, I hope so too. He is a farmer but over the last few years the day to day running has been passed to the farm hands, my parents run a small farming company as well as other investments so money isn't an issue (not rich but in no problems). Him going won't cause any immediate hardship.

He has no way of being contacted and hasn't got his passport. Mum thinks there was around 1k cash in the safe and there has been no 'planning' such as money being moved around or the like. He knew my mum was going to be out of the house for an hour so seems he saw he had a window to bugger off and took it, it seems like there is no planning involved.

The odd thing is that he hasn't taken any clothes with him. If he ever goes off for a long drive then he always takes his walking shoes as he sometimes goes to historic areas in the country, but not this time. Obviously he has enough cash on him so he could easily buy things that he needs but the idea of him not taking anything practical is very out of character.

I'm sure he's just come off to have some time too himself, I certainly don't want to think about anything bad! He hasn't been to the doctor lately so his health seems OK.

I feel so bloody awful for my mum. I've told her I will drive up asap if she wants me there.

Is he a farmer, OP?

He Penfold, she really doesnt know what's going on. Were quite close and so if anything major had happened she would let me know asap. There's certainly nothing of late that would I consider a massive change that would provoke this behaviour.

x post. Have your family/the farm workers checked out the more remote areas of the farm for any sign of him?

He is a farmer but doesn't work hands on the farm. We own our farm but it's run by his business partners (I called them farm hands earlier which isn't the right term). Were arable farmers and this year isn't looking too bad money wise, farming isn't their main income they have other investments that mostly run themselves. Whilst not cash rich theyhave a comfortable life, there has certainly been nothing major that's happened financially.

I agree with a PP that he is paying your mum back for what she said.

She called him controlling so he exerts the ultimate control of having her in a shit and a panic about where he is.

I would be going ballistic at him when he shows up again, as no doubt he will.

I would be inclined to go up there now, at least she wont be alone and when he does come back he will hopefully be able to see the fuss he caused.

Just got off the phone to my mum and she's reported him to the police, they're coming round to see her soon. There's quite a lot going on at the farm today but a director of the business has come in to take control of that so that's covered. I've told her to keep me updated and said if she wants me to drive up I'll come asap. She hasn't got anything work wise to do so I've told her to try and look after herself and give me a call if she needs.

Nothing else we can do right now! I just hope he bloody turns up and we can find out what's going on!

If he's getting back at your Mum, call his bluff. I'd contact the police directly and explain the situation - I very much doubt they'll take it lightly. (It would do no harm to check the more remote area of the land for his car etc even if only to be able to tell the police that you're doing that.)

x post. Good that they're coming round.

Hi bogey, I did think about just going up but don't want to force myself on my mum or stress her out too much! I've told here she wants me there I will be there in a flash, and she can also come down here. I'm trying to be as supportive as I can without causing too much stress.

Oh OP how worrying - really hope he is ok.