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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help! My dad's gone missing

214 replies

Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 08:24

Hi all, I'm hoping someone can help.

My mum just called and said my dad has gone missing. He left home yesterday afternoon while she was out, he didn't take his phone or wallet but she has found the safe has been emptied which had around 1k in there.

She thinks he only took the clothes he is wearing, he took the car.

He hasn't turned up today and I'm trying to help her with what to do.

I've told her to go through his Internet history and his phone, also check if anything else is missing at home and keep an eye on the bank accounts - she sorts all banking.

If that comes up with nothing I've advised her to call his best friend (lives about 50 miles away so can't pop in).

My dad is 62 in good health with as far as I'm aware bo financial worries, mum said he had been able moody of late but nothing out of the ordinary as it's harvest time, it's also just a moody sod at the best of times!

Is there anything else I've missed or anything else we can do? I've said to inform the police if he isn't back in 24 hours.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 11/08/2015 12:14

I wouldn't worry that he's got another woman, if that's a concern. He would have taken his bank cards and phone if he had.

RockinHippy · 11/08/2015 12:15

That was meant to be Flowers x

ImperialBlether · 11/08/2015 12:16

Is there anything particular he has to be back for? Something to do with work?

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 12:19

Hi imperial - I don't think he's got a secret second family, don't think he could be bothered with anything like that ;)

As far as I'm aware they don't have anything planned he needs to be back for, no holidays, events etc. However as it's harvest there is plenty going on at home, it can be done without him but if he's gone much longer than today it puts a lot of pressure on the guys.

OP posts:
fourtothedozen · 11/08/2015 12:25

I hope he turns up soon.

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 12:31

Thanks Rockin! Glad to hear your dad was OK, sounds bloody awful :(

Mum called me this morning, she was a bit worried yesterday but figured if he's gone put for a long drive he wouldn't be back until late. He's certainly never gone overnight before!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 11/08/2015 12:32

If I were your mum I wouldn't be there when he got back. Give him something to worry about!

No, I didn't mean a secret family - hadn't thought of that! I was just thinking that if he was seeing someone else (and nothing's impossible, no matter how old they are!) then they would take their bank cards to flash around.

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 12:39

You are right imperial, I think think he's off wooing a lady with a bit of cash and a car with his wife's name on the numberplate! Secret second phone is out of the question as he would have no clue how to buy one or how to use it! He's a smart man but useless with technology!

OP posts:
pilates · 11/08/2015 12:41

How awful for you and your mum.

I think if he hasn't turned up in a couple of days I would go and stay with your mum for a bit of support.

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 12:43

Hi pilates, that's what I'm planning. I want to go and give her a big hug!

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 11/08/2015 12:44

Difficult for you because you'll be wanting to actually do something rather than waiting - which is a problem at the moment because waiting (and waiting on the police) is about all you can do.

Would it screw up work if you left for home and - if nothing else - helped with the harvest? (I'm assuming that as a farmer's daughter, you can turn your hand to most things around the farm.) Physical activity might be good for you.

Findtheoldme · 11/08/2015 12:50

I think good advice for your mum not to be there when he comes back.

If he's having a tantrum she needs to ignore and if he has been taken ill the police will find him.

Thinking of you, cheese Flowers.

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 12:53

Hi Cozie, I'm due to start a new Job on Monday so hopefully all will be sorted by then! This week I'm free (gardening leave) and if it goes to 48 hours I'm going to go up.

There's not a lot I can do on the farm - it's all highly industrial these days and I can't drive tractors! However I can offer mum practical support with the house, dogs etc. The farm can be looked after by the guys, it's not ideal but they're fantastic and will do everything needed.

OP posts:
passmethewineplease · 11/08/2015 12:56

Hope he turns up soon cheese. If he is playing silly buggers it's so unfair to you and your mum making you panic like this!

lilacblossomtime · 11/08/2015 12:56

Hope he turns up ok and gets a good telling off for worrying you all like this.

cozietoesie · 11/08/2015 12:57

Nor would I actually recommend driving a tractor when your mind might be distracted - even the small ones can be dangerous things when mishandled and as for those Big Berthas? I was thinking more along the lines of you knowing the farm enough that you could be asked to 'Take these sandwiches up to the guys in the top field' and not need a map and guides to do it.

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 12:58

Hi Find, it would be difficult for her to leave right now, one of the dogs is poorly and there's a lot going on with the harvest. That's not to say it isn't impossible but because of the size of the farm and daily tasks that need doing it would be awfully hard for her not to be there.

OP posts:
MoltenBrownChocolate · 11/08/2015 12:58

Can you share his photo (& that of his car) online? On here, Facebook, Twitter etc? Make sure Facebook post is public so others can share.
Hope he turns up soon Thanks

headlesslambrini · 11/08/2015 13:00

Could he have taken the money to go and support the dairy farmers with stripping the milk from the shelves? Might sound a bit out there but I have links with farmers and know how tight knit they can all be as well.

NerrSnerr · 11/08/2015 13:01

Oh how worrying. Let's hope he's just had a huge strop and is staying in a travelodge for a couple of days.

Toooldtobearsed · 11/08/2015 13:02

Hi Cheese, sorry you are going through this.

I am probably around your mums age. Pack a bag and go. Don't ask her, if she is like me, she will say 'no, don't come all this way, he will be back soon', but she would be relieved to see you and get a hug from you.

Even if he arrives home just after you have gotten there, your support will mean the world to her (and him, if he is in a bad place).

Go.

Take care, and good luck!

cozietoesie · 11/08/2015 13:04

PS - I'd go by this afternoon, regardless of any events, I think. Your mum must be at sixes and sevens even if she's putting a brave face on it for you.

Penfold007 · 11/08/2015 13:04

Hope you get some positive news very soon Flowers

pilates · 11/08/2015 13:06

^
Good advice.

Original poster
Cheeseandwinegirl · 11/08/2015 13:09

Hi all thanks for the wellwishes. We've now hit the 24 hour mark which is slightly worrying. I'm going to log off for a little bit and sort out things around the house, I should be speaking to my mum soon and hopefully sorting going up. It's not at a point where I want to post details about him or the car until the police have been to see mum.

Thank you to all the lovely support, my dad would bloody hate it if he knew I was talking about him on the Internet but I need an outlet as I'm not around people today!

OP posts: